[1strength]

I have finally found a best friend that I haven't had for over 25 years and she has some issues with depression . Since I haven't had a friend in over 25 years because of my home life I want this to work and feel like my friend is like a sister and my best friend . She has had a man in her life that has caused her some extreme emotional stress and I have always been their to support her with no judgments and have said tell me everything or nothing it is what ever you need I will be their 24/7 no matter what and I have been called plenty of times for support she has a problem with lying about what she does with him and she says its because she doesn't want to lose me as a friend and I constantly say I don't judge and I will be their no matter what her counselor told her she should dump him and because she is growing he wants to keep her down so he can control things it goes back and forth a lot. Well I feel that I just wanted her to know I will be their no matter what because that is what I want in a friendship and she does have issues from an abusive divorce situation but it seems like when she lies she is spending time with him and doesn't like it when her kids mention his name in front of me which bothers me I would and have never asked her kids about those things and she gets mad at her kids when the say his name in front of me. Well a week ago she told me that she thinks I am the one trying to hold her down to control things and it hurt me really bad she blamed it on her depression I cried and she commented on that because I have never done anything but help her find ways to know she can do things on her own and will make it and I think she wanted to hurt me to justify her being with him this weekend without telling me . But now I am starting to buy into I am the one with the problem I don't want to lose her as my besst friend and I don't know what to do:(

[ordinaryguy]

Are you a man or a woman?

It sounds like maybe you have a bit of a savior complex, and she doesn't want to be saved.

[1strength]

I am a woman . She is like a sister to me and I feel she plays these games to make it easier when she sees him and I have tried extensively to let her know I will support what evr she decides but she continues to do this I am waiting for the next time for things to fall and I don't want them to but odds are they will .

[Dani171986]

I have a best friend which is ver similar to yours. I just find it's easier to let her get on with it. She will tell you about him in her own time.
My friend is very secretive and will keep things to herself as she knows what she's doing is the wrong thing. So she doesn't want to tell anyone because she already knows the response.
However, she evenually tells me about her on/off boyfriend and I just give an objective opinion, not my personal one (even though it is hard not 2 just tell it how it is) and just listen which is what you seem to be doing anyway.

Some people just want to do it there own way and your friend will have to keep carrying on with this guy until she finally reliases herself that he's no good for her.