[razza115]

right I have been seeing this girl for about 2 and half years on and off we have been on a break before for like 2 months well orther day her friend had a party with all these boys from her college I was invited but my girlfriend said she didn't want me to go but it got a boring night so I rang her asking if I could come and she said she's not at the party now she's at home in bed so I went around to the party and she was there drunk (soo she lied to me) she started showing off in front of her friends by shouting at me I asked her if she loved me and she said no and now I got the feeling she's cheating on me. Our love life is rubbish I'm lucky if I get it 1ce a month I just don't know what to do I love her loads but I know how it feels when we have finished I can't sleep for thinking of her. We are fine with each orther from the orther night now but it feels like I can't trust anymore I don't know what to do I need advice

[Sad Soul]

She's going to continue helping make your love life rubbish, as are you, because she has no reason to do otherwise. I mean, she doesn't want you to come to a party, lies about not being there, tells you she doesn't love you, yet you're still around... so why would she need to change again? You're still around! There's no need for her to change any behavior because you're showing that you will always stay put!

If you leave her and tell her it's because you want an honest and healthy relationship, and that you would have stayed with her if that were the case, then trust me that it will be the best kick in the a$$ you will ever give her. She needs this life lesson. And so do you.

You need to realize what you're worth and how relationships can be a lot healthier than the one you're choosing to stay in. The time apart will also help her evaluate what's important in life: having a loving man around OR choosing to be dishonest, getting drunk and telling people off, etc, etc. I think she will realize which is the better deal if you give her a chance to do so. And if she doesn't ever realize... then you'll have all your answers. That is, life will show you if this relationship was even worth stressing over.

[razza115]

I forgot to say the day after she said that she loved me and that she's sorry but I still can't trust anymore

[Sad Soul]

Yep. You can't trust her because she didn't learn her lesson over night. She has to also show you that she can be trusted. You know this... and this is what you're longing for. You're longing for her to prove it to you that she loves you and that she can be trusted BECAUSE she has put so much effort into showing otherwise!

You should leave her and tell her all the reasons. And then let her show you if she can be trusted. If she loves you, she will make up for all the "rubbish" she has put your love life through.

She should know why you are leaving her, and if she gets defensive or doesn't understand... then that is a huge red flag. She should know, and then she should start working on herself.