[newmom0307]

I am 22 year old mother I have a 6 1/2 month old son . Me and is spermdonor have not really gotten along since I was pregnant recently we had a disagreement regarding child support and my sons last name since I won't change my sons last name to his and I took him for child support he is angery so he has now decided to take this out on my child... there are also other issue surrounding me and him and even before this hearing with child support for the past 3months and before he has not made an effort to see my child or do anthing finacially I am a student currently and will be graduating but I still have limited income at this time he has decided not to have anything to do with my child his family has never met my sons he desnt call,email, and it would be a far cry from hell if he came over.. so I feel that his rights to my son should be removed should something happen to me I don't want my son to have to been placed with him just because he is his father( a stranger to my son) I want him to stay with my family. I believe that he is being childish I have tried to contact him and has no success the only reason he was calling before is to mess with me and when he found I wasn't going to play his game he cut off contact I don't have time to play games with him I have a child to raise he has mentioned to me about signing his rights away but when I recently asked him to he declined . I think he wants to try to claim my son on his taxes which will never happen. BUT I need to know what I should do in this situation ? And how do I pursue getting his rights removed ? Does anyone think I'm wrong for taking this action I Need Help !

[GlindaofOz]

First of all you cannot take away his rights he would have to willingly sign them over. However it is not as easy a process as it may seem. There needs to be evidence as to why this boy should not be in your son's life. The problems that the two of you are having probably will not qualify. Hopefully as her matures he will realize that what matters is not his issues with you but his relationship with his child.

The problem with child support et al will be settled at your support hearing. At that point everything is moot he will have to pay support or risk getting in trouble - in some states like NJ they round up deadbeat dads and put them in jail until they pay support.

[shygrneyzs]

This is a mess that you alone cannot get straightened out, because you want everything to be legal. Please seek legal advice from an agency like Legal Aid where they do charge on a sliding scale fee - sometimes for next to nothing.

Your child deserves the child support. No matter what you think of the bio-dad, that guy needs to pay the child support. In court you can set visitation, make sure you maintain the primary custody, and ask your other questions to an attorney.

One thing I would ask of you - you have said many things about the bio-dad and have given instances of what he does and says. Please start writing all that down in a journal or notebook. Record telephone conversations, any letters, keep copies of emails, anything involving this guy. From him and his family. When you do go to court and if the dad is allowed visitation, you can request that visitation be supervised. For example, your child would be brought to a neutral place, such as Social Services, and the father can visit with your son.

Good luck with this. You honestly need to take care of this in a legal manner. To have all these angry, bitter feelings and not do anything positive about them is unhealthy.

[newmom0307]

Should I try to get family counseling for this issue or just pursue it legally... I'm not sure what to do but I know I'm not going to play these games with him

[GlindaofOz]

If he is open to counseling I say try it. Both of you should bury the hatchet. Regardless of how you feel about one another you have a kid to raise. Maybe you both need help in figuring out how to behave around one another so that your child won't grow up seeing how much Mommy and Daddy hate one another.

[shygrneyzs]

I would take the legal course of action. Family counseling would work for your anger but you cannot make the bio-dad go. But you can go and do something for yourself. I understand your anger and being upset but you got to take some control of yourself.

Good luck.