[jeffatl]

The current situation I am in goes as follows. I have been "dating" thin girl for about a month and the past 2 times we have made plans to go out, she bails because she is "too tired". OLD Jeff: freaks out and gets mad because he thinks he is being played with. NEW Jeff says "its ok, get some rest and we will hang out another time. This seriously has been trying my patience, but I am trying to be cool about it but acting like I don't really care about it, and go out anyway! The thing I have learned is that though the chase is fun, it is more fun to be chased. How do you get someone to chase you though? Well....I would say make things as fun as possible, FUN FUN FUN, you need to be the guy/girl that adds some sort of spark to the like of your "target" and it's not hard to do. The thing I have always done is push too hard too soon......no longer. I don't want to sound like I detach myself from the girl, I just try and act like things don't bother me like this because I am the FUN guy that doesn't care about trivial crap like this. Now it's not easy, I still get aggervated, but I just swallow it and be nice. I end up saying somehting like "I don't want to hang out with you if you are going to be tired, and not have a good time, so it's cool, stay in I will see you another time". I think alot of guys/girls can use this in regards to thier ex. The key to an EX is space, give it to them. When you talk to your EX do NOT bring your relationship up, in fact you shouldn't even be talking to them. Someone in my position might ask, "what are you going to do now?" the answer is nothing.....I will just go on doing what I had planned, without her being there.......she missed out.....why should I? I am on a once a week seeing basis with her right now, just to make sure we get space and time to think about one another. I never knew how giddy girls get before the actual date than the date itself. I have been working in relationship therapy for an internship for about 3 months now and have learned a TON, about dating, EXs, and relatiuonships. The things you see are insane and the solutions are always so simple, but hard to go through with. The main point I have learned is to NEVER make a desision about anything when you are aggervated, mad, or depressed. You have to just let things play out, and let your emotions calm before you do something stupid. People want what they can't have, and as soon as you dangle that, you can really use it to your advantage. True, I got plans broken with me, but she is left thinking "why isn't he upset about us not hanging out?" The next time, I will wait for her to make plans with me, now I put the ball in her court, this way I take the odd feelings from me and make her wonder why I am not making plans with her. You must always have your mind clear to make smart choices, that work in your favor. You might wonder how this works in my favor. It does because it allows me to detach myself from the situation until she makes an effort, and I avoid looking foolish for making plans that might get broken again. Look, I HATE the game, but I have learned to master it in just about any situation. The thing is, you can't let people know they are getting to you because they in turn use it against you late, ok....I know that sounds bad, but why not turn it around here? In the game of dating there is no winner, or loser, just those that know how to play, and those that don't. Those that don't wonder why they get dates, buyt nothing ever works out.....YOU ARE PLAYING WRONG! It's all about getting the other to think about you when you are not there....BOOM, thats it. When a girl/guy goes out with their friends, and calls you wanting you to come....why not tell him/her "just have fun with your friends tonight honey, I will see you tomorrow". THAT IS AMAZING! Im sure they do want to see you, but they will love you for it in the long run, and think about you all night. I'm not saying do this all the time, just when it feels right. You have to play a little hard to get sometimes, or there is nothing to chase. Attraction is easy, if you learn how to use it to your advantage, or at least know how to use it. The beginning of a relationship is just as fragile as a possible "get back together" with an ex, you have to play the game correctly. Be unavailable, busy, tired, or whatever. You will know your partner is a worthy opponent if they in turn get you thinking about you all night. The game of love is much harder than chess, but it can be learned and mastered. Some of you might think I am full of it, but from what I have seem and heard, it works! More so important for guys I think, because it really shows you can get any girl you want (relationship wise) as long as you have some sort of connection with that girl. Trust me, it has been working for me, and things have never been more clear.

[mckenzie134]

Sopt on Jeff read some of my posts!! Some don't agree