[migraine]

Hi,
I just found out that I have a son in another state from where I live. He is 9 lives with his mother. Now I have been put up for child support the clerk of the courts refuses to hear my reasons for lowering support. If I terminate my rights will this release my obligations from supprt. This is ntohing but a big hassle. I am not speaking to my mother because of all of this, and me the boys mother can't even say 2 words to each other without us at each others throat. My wife is mad as the devil about everything. I would rather give up my rights and legally have nothing else to do with him.

[tawnynkids]

That's sad. It's sad that you would punish your son because of the mother. But not what you asked... anyway, no simply giving up your rights will not get you out of paying child support. The clerk doesn't need to listen to your reasons, you just need to file for modification of child support if you feel it is warranted to be lowered. The court will base the amount on yours and moms income and the amount of parenting time you each have. It will either be lowered or it won't. But you can't get out of it unless mom is remarried and you give up your rights for the step dad to adopt.

[statictable]

It WILL NOT release you from medical, dental, child support and education; when and where indicated. Might be best to maintain things as they are because you may in the years ahead decide you would like to get to know this person and share in all the responsibilities. To terminate your parental rights would be like a one way ticket to Disney World with no way back and you can be sure you'd want to come back. Bet you make the right choice.

[Synnen]

You can't terminate your parental rights to get out of child support.

My suggestion is get to know your son and try to make up for the years you weren't in his life.

Just because his mother is childish doesn't mean you have to be.

[macksmom]

Once again, I am in awe of how people can just throw their own kids away.

In awe, that someone would not be thrilled for having a child.

In awe, that someone would choose money over their own child.

In awe, that they think they can just disown their responsibilities because it doesn't suit their life.

In awe, that people would really want to hurt their own children by having them know their own parent wanted nothing to do with them.


So, in answer to your question... NO... you cannot get out of child support!

[J_9]

Once again, I am in awe of how people can just throw their own kids away.

Girl I am so with you. Like children are trash! People like this totally and complete astonish me.

Buck up dude. Be a man!! You thought you were a man when you lay in bed with the woman, now act like it. Take care of your responsibility. IT TAKES TWO YA KNOW!!

Two to make a child and two to raise it.

People like this make me believe in sterilization.

So, sign your rights away and get yourself clipped so that you don't ruin the life of another human being.

[Michelle0410]

"I would rather legally give up my rights and have nothing else to do with him"

Are you freaking kidding me, Hey you know what, I take that back...

That little boy will be much better without someone like you in his life, so go ahead sign your rights over and you have EVERY RIGHT to have to pay for him, I hope this little boy goes to college, (you ordered to pay for it all) becomes a doctor, then you need him to perform surgery to save your life... hmmmm what should he do, legally terminate your existence because he doesn't feel like wasting his time on the surgery, hmmmm... you are a piece of work that's for sure, and your wife, obviously doesn't see the big picture, it's a child, guess you should have watched what you were doing there BUDDY!!

Once again, you need to run far away, and never come back, crawl under the rock you belong under! That's really hateful I know this, but you know what, its people like you that force a mother's heart to be broken when a child looks up and says mommy why doesn't daddy want me, yes the mother may be in the wrong sometimes, you didn't know this child was yours for 9 years, well guess what now you do, he's part of you, do something about it instead of looking for the easy way out!! Quit being so dedgum selfish, please!!

[ScottGem]

Once again, I am in awe of how people can just throw their own kids away.

Unfortunately, I've learned that it just not that uncommon. Sex has become a form of recreation. The emotional attachments that are supposed to accompany sex are pretty much a thing of the past. In some ways this is a good thing, but it also fosters an emotional detachment to the results of sex.

In this case, its even more understandable. You find out, after 9 years that you have a child. You have not invested anything in the raising of that child and now you are asked to pay for your mistake.

But while I understand it, I don't agree with it. I don't agree with holding a child hostage between the arguments of its parents. I don't agree with traumatizing a child but letting it know its parent doesn't give a damn about them.

[LEILA007]

Hi,
I just found out that i have a son in another state from where i live. he is 9 lives with his mother. now i have been put up for child support the clerk of the courts refuses to hear my reasons for lowering support. if i terminate my rights will this release my obligations from supprt. this is ntohing but a big hassle. i am not speaking to my mother because of all of this, and me the boys mother can't even say 2 words to each other without us at each others throat. my wife is mad as the devil about everything. i would rather give up my rights and legally have nothign else to do with him.

You are speaking out of anger . Think long and hard about that. I'm sure if you did that you lose all right and obligations. However when the day comes and it will that he comes looking for you the excuse you did it cause you couldn't afford will devestate him. Just think its like selling your kid. Can you live with yourself?

[macksmom]

But while I understand it, I don't agree with it. I don't agree with holding a child hostage between the arguments of its parents. I don't agree with traumatizing a child but letting it know its parent doesn't give a damn about them.

I agree with all your points about what sex had turned into... children are being born right and left with the majority of parents calling it a "mistake"... while the result of pregnancy may have been a mistake, a child never is.

But the fact still remains... regardless of how it happened, who it happened with, and how long its been since it happened... it happened... a child was born from two peoples acts of sex, and both parties should be held responsible.

It's not as simple as just trying not to traumatize the child by telling them how worthless one of the parents are because they tried to cop out on their responsibilties... it's much harder than that...

My daughters father stopped coming to see her when she was 15 months old. I continuously asked him to sign over his rights and just let me do it on my own, and he always said no. After a few years and numerous punishments for not paying child support he finally agreed to sign them over, it was then I found out that couldn't be done unless I had someone willing to adopt her. Even knowing this information, he still didn't have interest in his daughter. When she was 4 and in preschool she saw mommys AND daddys coming to pick up their kids. She asked why didn't she have a daddy. The only response I could think of, as not to "traumatize" her, was that she did have a daddy but he just lived too far away to come see her (he lived 10 minutes away). That seemed to work until she started having an imaginary friend she called her "pretend daddy".

Children are much wiser than we think. You don't have to come right out and say "your father wants nothing to do with you" for them to know it.

[teaspoon]

[QUOTE=J_9]Girl I am so with you. Like children are trash! People like this totally and complete astonish me.

Buck up dude. Be a man!! You thought you were a man when you lay in bed with the woman, now act like it. Take care of your responsibility. IT TAKES TWO YA KNOW!!

Two to make a child and two to raise it.

People like this make me believe in sterilization.

So, sign your rights away and get yourself clipped so that you don't ruin the life of another human being.[/QUOTE

I AM A MAN, THIS B LEFT THE COUNTRY SO AS SHE FOUND OUT SHE WAS PREGNANT, FROM DAY ONE SHE TOLD HER SON THAT HIS FATHER WAS DEAD. SO IF I AM DEAD THEN I CANNOT BE A PART OF HIS LIFE. YOU NEED TO LOOK AT THE WHOLE PICTURE AND DO NOT TRY TO JUDGE ME. SO STERILIZE YOURSELF WHO CARES. ONE LESS CHILD FOR MY TAXES TO SUPPORT.

[LearningAsIGo]

Teaspoon, are you also the OP migraine? I'm confused, so I'm assuming that's why you sent this PM?

I do not agree with any of the comments. This man stated that the boys mother told him from day one that he was not to have any contact with her son. The mother told the son that his father was dead. It makes me wonder why would this mother not want the son to know his father. He could not have been this bad she laid down with him. It sounds like he made all the right efforts to try and have contact and be in this boys life. People need to let up of him everyone knows that when a woman takes a man to court the judge 99% of the time takes the woman's side. She said that his father was dead so he is simply complying with the mothers wishes. Why after 9 years would she all of a suddent want the boy to know who his father is. I would like to know who she told him that his father was not dead and she was lying to him all these years and for what reasons. She is less than a woman because she was sleeping with more than one man at during the same time because she did not know who his father was. So she is the slut of the two adults not the man. He is simply doing what the mother wanted. It is hard to rise from the dead and expect things to be okay.

I only agreed with Tawny here: I don't really understand why you are arguing your point with me thru private messages. Its a sad situation and I'm certainly not going to change my mind on that.

Sep 15, 2007, 11:11 AM #2 Report Inappropriate Post
Tawnynkids
Senior Member





Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: California
Posts: 504
That's sad. It's sad that you would punish your son because of the mother. But not what you asked... anyway, no simply giving up your rights will not get you out of paying child support. The clerk doesn't need to listen to your reasons, you just need to file for modification of child support if you feel it is warranted to be lowered. The court will base the amount on yours and moms income and the amount of parenting time you each have. It will either be lowered or it won't. But you can't get out of it unless mom is remarried and you give up your rights for the step dad to adopt.

Comments on this post
LearningAsIGo agrees: Agree - sad indeed

[macksmom]

Creating a new account and continuing this OP there, is confusing...

Bottomline... regardless of the situation... you CANNOT sign away your parental rights unless the mother is in agreement and she has someone willing to adopt the child in your place.

[ScottGem]

I AM A MAN, THIS B LEFT THE COUNTRY SO AS SHE FOUND OUT SHE WAS PREGNANT, FROM DAY ONE SHE TOLD HER SON THAT HIS FATHER WAS DEAD. SO IF I AM DEAD THEN I CANNOT BE A PART OF HIS LIFE. YOU NEED TO LOOK AT THE WHOLE PICTURE AND DO NOT TRY TO JUDGE ME. SO STERILIZE YOURSELF WHO CARES. ONE LESS CHILD FOR MY TAXES TO SUPPORT.

Why the change in names? (note the IP is the same).

Just because she has done a bad thing doesn't mean you have to compound by abandoning your flesh and blood.

[tawnynkids]

How come no one said shame on her for saying you were dead? Well, because in your original post you didn't say anything about it.

I don't feel any more sorry for you now than I did before your story. In fact, now I am sure you are just one more self centered person. What she did was dead wrong and what you are doing is just as wrong. One day when your son comes to you and says "how come you never wanted me?" What are you going to say huh? "Well, pal your mom said screw me so, I said screw you!"

Instead of saying to yourself, "I was robbed for all those years, I am going to love that little boy silly. I am going to tell him I am his Daddy and that Daddy has always loved him. I am going to do my best to make up for lost time. I am going to correct every lie they told him about me", you sit and whine. I can't go to court again, I can't even see him, my mom stabbed me in the back, that witch stabbed me in the back, I shouldn't have to pay... blah, blah, blah.

First time around she robbed your son of you, and you of him... now you are doing it yourself. Grow up.

[baseballmom14]

Hi,
I just found out that i have a son in another state from where i live. he is 9 lives with his mother. now i have been put up for child support the clerk of the courts refuses to hear my reasons for lowering support. if i terminate my rights will this release my obligations from supprt. this is ntohing but a big hassle. i am not speaking to my mother because of all of this, and me the boys mother can't even say 2 words to each other without us at each others throat. my wife is mad as the devil about everything. i would rather give up my rights and legally have nothign else to do with him.

I suggest you speak with an attorney asap. If you decide to terminate your rights you'll be losing more than just the money issues. Think about it... Would you have wanted your dad to walk away. Your wife now, being she is part of your life needs to respect your decisions
The laws are different from state to state and a lot of things that you wouldn't think of will be in the decision of the court, My best friend has gone through this and now has a 16 yr. old asking questions, wanting to know more about his dad and yes basically it turns in to a sad sad day. Cause she doesn't have all the answers.

[teaspoon]

Thanks I am looking into a new lawyer right now anyway. My wife supports me and is trying all she can to help with this situation. I am taking things one day at a time and see what each day brings.