[Pcatt]

I feel that I have completely shut down emotionally in my relationship. I had been in a long term relationship for 9 years then it all went wrong.6 months later I met this really nice guy and have been seeing him for the last 2 years he is great, but I don't know what is going on with me I am totally shut off from him sometimes and I don't really care what he does or where he goes. I don't know what to do !:confused:

[Wondergirl]

You didn't explain how the long-term relationship "went wrong". I'm reading in what you say, not that you have emotionally shut down, but that you have built emotional fences around yourself to protect yourself from hurt.

First, you need to vent about the "what went wrong" stuff and get closure on that.

[Pcatt]

My partner started to abuse drink and drugs. I did not want to leave but had to as I was afraid of what he may do when he was drunk.

Any advise to as how I would lower these barriers

[Wondergirl]

Bear with me while I ask a few questions.

Has your partner hurt you emotionally and/or physically when drinking and doing drugs? Or did you leave simply to protect yourself, knowing you would get hurt? (Why did he start? Is this in his personal history?)

Have you experienced this kind of hurt before in your life, say, with a family member?

[Pcatt]

He would get angry and would hallucinate sometimes. He started to become paranoid and would often threaten to take his own life or both of us , once by turning all the gas on and saying he was going to blow the house up, he done several things like this when he was under the influence of either of these. But when he was sober he was a nice person and I trusted him. I guess you could say he emotionally hurt me but I have never really thought about it like that and never really said anything to anyone.

None of my family are like this but his mother and father were heavy drinkers?

[Wondergirl]

I think it's time for you to take a step back from men and get yourself together. Is there a way you can do that?