[need_advice]

So here's the story...

I was with a girl for 5 years. Our relationship was broken off about 4 months ago although we still talked... We ended our relationship because my parents/family did not approve due to us being from different background, culture (I'm asian). However, she needed/wanted to get married soon so her family introduced her to some other guy... She really likes this guy and she is engaged now...

I have so many regrets, and I realized I made a huge mistake letting her go... I was blinded by what really matters and I didn't fight as hard I should have... I know that I love and care her very much( I always have... and I think deep deep down she feels the same way) I know its easy to think that I might be jealous that she is engaged and I'm alone again.. but I don't think its true.. all I know is that we are meant to be together...

What do I do?

Fly back to see her and tell her my feelings? Or leave it alone

If I go tell her that I love her and I made a big mistake... she is either going to reject it and move on (understandable from her point of view) or she will break of the enagement and be with me (not sure how likely that would... unless its one of those.. if its true love it will happen)

I know I am putting her in a bad spot and it almost seems late.. but I feel like I need to grow up and fight for her and that if it meant to be it's meant to me

What do you think?

Go back for her and explain to her or did I screw up and just hold on to the regret for ever and let her be?

[need_advice]

Anybody? Your advice would be greatly appreciated.

[GlindaofOz]

Leave it alone. She is happy and is getting married.

No matter what you think your relationship would not have worked. When your family does not back your union the relationship will fail. It will be too hard and it will be a constant struggle.

I feel for your loss but know that she was just not the one meant for you. I'm sure there is someone else out there who will be a wonderful match and someone who your family will approve of.

[GlindaofOz]

Oh and stop beating yourself up. Would've could've should've you're "veing yourself to death. What has happened has happened and you cannot go back and change it. If she is happy that should be what is important now you find yours okay?

[need_advice]

Oh and stop beating yourself up. Would've could've should've you're "veing yourself to death. what has happened has happened and you cannot go back and change it. If she is happy that should be what is important now you find yours okay?

GlindaofOz - completely understand both your post.. I guess, I want to fight hard and not give up and regret I didn't do anything about it. I am not even sure she is completely happy with this guy ethier so I wanted to make sure she is.. since I want her to happy no matter what... in terms of family - I thought the same - but I feel its wrong to disapprove of someone just because our culture/background is different and has nothing to with the girl herself.. I figured my family would just get over it after a few years... but then again I have been wrong in the past...

Thanks again GlindaofOz for your words :)

[need_advice]

Leave it alone. She is happy and is getting married.

no matter what you think your relationship would not have worked. When your family does not back your union the relationship will fail. It will be too hard and it will be a constant struggle.

I feel for your loss but know that she was just not the one meant for you. I'm sure there is someone else out there who will be a wonderful match and someone who your family will approve of.

I forgot to mention: you bring up "its not meant to be" - part of the reason I wanted to go back for her was to try harder to get her back... if she really doesn't I know that it was not meant to be and I can try and stop regretting it in the future... I guess I wanted to try one last time and finally and know that it just wasn't suppose to work out instead of just wondering all my life. :)

[GlindaofOz]

But you had your chance with her.

Again if your family does not approve it will never happen. The right person for you would not be someone who would clash with your family. You have a lot of romantic ideas about love and I can see you want to sort of charge in and say I love you come with me! But the reality is that you will fight everyday in this marriage for it stay together. Your family will feel hurt and angry that you chose "some girl" over your entire family.

Think about the reality of it. She has moved on. Move on Need Advice. Like I said the right girl for you will be someone who will fit and it will not be a struggle.

[Homegirl 50]

At this point it's none of your business if she is happy or not. It would be very unfair for you to go to her now. She is engaged. Leave her alone. She belongs to someone else now.
Sometimes we make mistakes we can't undo. All we can do is learn from them. But don't make another one by ruining what she has now. That would be cruel selfish, and love is neither of those things.
I wish you well.

[need_advice]

Thanks to the both of you.. seems like I should just let her be...

[Homegirl 50]

Good Choice. I wish you well