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conihope · Aug 22, 2007, 05:06 PM

Do you have to tell the father of the baby if it was by force and your giving it up

blueeyestwenty · Aug 22, 2007, 05:24 PM

My pregnancy was by force and I was recommend to tell the courts and doctors that I didn't know who the father was. That way his name wouldn't be on the birth certificate and he wouldn't have any parental rights. I kept the baby so I'm not sure about the legality of adoption... This is what I was told to do so I hope that helps?.

shygrneyzs · Aug 22, 2007, 06:07 PM

You do need to tell the man about the child and your plans to place that child into adoptive services. For the only reason that he is notified and aware of his rights. If he willingly terminates his rights, then that is just fine. But I say this just because there have been instances where the birth father finds out after the adoption and then sues the adoptivce parents, the birth mother, and adoption agency, and even the courts. It has happened more than once.

Now chances are this guy will not be interested, but he does need to know and then make his informed decision. Nothing can come back at you later then.

s_cianci · Aug 23, 2007, 06:45 PM

You don't necessarily have a legal obligation but most would argue that you have a moral obligation to inform the father of your pregnancy and your plans to give the child for adoption.

blueeyestwenty · Aug 24, 2007, 08:55 AM

Originally Posted by s_cianci

You don't necessarily have a legal obligation but most would argue that you have a moral obligation to inform the father of your pregnancy and your plans to give the child for adoption.

A MORAL obligation?? She said she was forced to have sex, and she should be MORALLY obligated to tell the man about it? I love how well or MORAL system is "these days"

Chery · Aug 24, 2007, 09:04 AM

If nobody knows who the father is (i.e. you did not press charges and did not tell anyone), then I would go with the "I don't know who the father is"..

But, if it is possible that this fact might slip in the future and that he might find out, I have no idea how you can get around this.

If he does find out and takes measures just to give you a hard time, it will get dirty.

What do you think he will do if he finds out?

Maybe you can get him to agree to the adoption, that way he cannot get back at you or anyone else in the future. It's not the best news (being forced) for anyone, but they can and will get over it, if you can.

MOWERMAN2468 · Aug 25, 2007, 05:03 AM

If she was forced to have sex, this does not obligate her to the sperm donor, I feel the only obligation at the time immediately after the forced encounter she had was to herself. And that was to press charges against him. But she didn't and now she may have a long battle to fight. Be cautious, and get a good attorney.

collinsmom · Aug 25, 2007, 03:47 PM

I see that you are considering adoption. I would recommend talking to an adoption agency. They provide services for birthmothers. They can recommend what you can do. If you need a name of one, I'd be happy to tell you the agency we used. The services for birthmothers is completely free. I wish all the best and take care of yourself!

Fr_Chuck · Aug 25, 2007, 07:06 PM

I would want to know if it was rape, we are assuming it because she said force, but did not say rape, did her boyfriend use emotional abuse to force her not to use birth control, Her wording was just not exact.

But not a moral but a legal issue, the bio father has legal rights maybe depending on the details.

Synnen · Aug 27, 2007, 07:01 PM

Legally, the biological father has rights.

IF you pressed charges, and IF the courts find him to be an unsuitable parent (which, let's face it, anyone that forces someone else to have sex probably would be), his parental rights COULD be severed by the courts.

However... don't LIE. If he comes back, and you've severed YOUR parental rights so that the child can be adopted, and he asks for a DNA test to prove he's the parent---all of a sudden YOU have no rights to the child, but HE does.

I'd talk to a lawyer that I was paying on this matter--because of COURSE the adoption agency is going to recommend that you lie. Adoption agencies are paid by ADOPTIVE parents--so guess who they advocate more? This is not to say all adoption agencies are bad, or that they're coercive... but enough are to make me wary. They don't want anything to gum up the system, and a father who doesn't want adoption is very sticky.