[walterramona]

We have a almost 20 year old daughter that will not keep a job.no one will hire her because she would get a job then want off to go party and when they said no she would quit.She dropped out of high school and later said she wanted to join the army she started night school to get a ged and it turned into a party place and she dropped out a years or more went by (all this time we my wife and I an other kids are suffering her bad moods cussing at us etc. She then again said she wanted to get her GED and join the Army we said OK and helped her get her GED,Now that she has it she's back to the abusing us (the family ) and saying she doesn't want the army going out drinking at night and sleeping all day. We finally told her she has to go in the army or get the hell out we are tired of her abuse and not doing any thing with her life.We feel bad about it but she effects every one even the 17 year old sister she hates and her 13 year old step brother she hates to.The little ones are A&B students and stay out of trouble other than the norm.She is always so mean to every one and tells her friends we are so bad to her but we just try and ignore her when she is acting like a butt.But after a while even steel will bend if you sit on it long enough.

We just need to know we are doing the right thing and read as much support on our disission as possible eeven thow she is my step daughter I love as if I help make her becaseu she has been in my life from 7 years old.

[J_9]

First of all, please only post your question once. When those of us who are able to help you come online, we will, but multiple posts will be deleted.

Okay, back to your question. Tell her bye bye, she is 20 and it is time she lives on her own. Take her to a recruiter... Offer to pay first months rent on an apartment. But as an adult in your home, she lives by your rules. If she can't then she needs to find someplace else to live.

Although... You don't mention how your wife, her mother I assume, feels about this. My advice may change if her mother is not on the same page as you.

[walterramona]

My wife is in full agreement our daughter tells her how she only cares about her self and loves all of us more today she screemed at her and said some day the other kids will grow up and leave and me to and she will be all alone.My wife and I through all this have a wonderful marriage she is my soul mate and I am hers

[J_9]

Then time to pack her bags and tell her if she wants to be all grown up, then to do it on her own time in her own place. Period, no discussion.

That is your home and you, as parents, deserve respect. If she can not or will not respect you, then she needs to leave.

It's called tough love and most of us parents have to use it in one form or another at one time or another.

[J_9]

walterramona agrees: It let us know as a mom and dad we are human also

Of course you are human, without both or one of you, she would not be human. LOL

How many times have you heard "I brought you into this world, I can take you out"

Yes, it's hard being parents, no one ever said it was easy, but you have to stick to your guns. You have rules, she breaks them she is out. She is a grown woman. Sometimes it takes something drastic to change a person like her.

Time to do something drastic. Make her responsible for herself.

[walterramona]

I know this kind of sounds dumb but reading this kind of makes me feel like crying and I am a 49 year old guy Thanks for your help my wife will get a copy of this and If you beleave in God... God Bless you and if not my your higher power shine on you : )

Bye

[J_9]

There is nothing wrong with crying. If it makes you feel better, do it.

Yes, I believe in God and will keep you in my prayers. Please keep me posted on what happens, and remember, we are here to support you when and if you need it.

[Fr_Chuck]

Time to pack her bags and set her out.

[Homegirl 50]

I'd tell her she has two choices. The military or the street. Give her 24 hours to make the choice, then take her to the recruiting place or pack her bags and put her out.