[cyrenasworld]

Hello everyone. I have a huge weight on my shoulders right now and could really use some objective opinions. My husband and I are going through an extremely rough time. He's always been a little moody and emotional, I will say that his emotions control his entire existence. If we'd had a fight and he left and had to stay somewhere else, he finds it difficult & sometimes impossible to even get out of bed. Fast forward to last month, I had an affair. I accepted resposiblity, apologized and I am doing medication & therapy to try to get to the root of the problem. I promised I would never do it again and my husband (I thought) agreed to try to make it work. A week went by and he ended up leaving. I thought that we would cut our losses, work on ourselves and try to find some happiness in life-apart. He did too, that is until Sunday, I hadn't heard from him in 2 weeks and he sent me 90, yes 90 text messages ranging from sad to suicidal. I called the crisis hotline because his father had committed suicide and I was scared. He ended up voluntarily committing himself to the Psych ward. Now, I am guilty beyond belief. I know our relationship is toxic and we need to let go but this guilt is pulling me right back in. Any thoughts on how I can stay strong in the wake of this tragedy?? I only see my couselor once a week, she says STAY AWAY AT ALL COSTS but the days in between my sessions are hell.:confused:

[faza]

Hi, well I'm 21 and probably have no experience in life but I have known people in your situation. Its hard, and some one very close to me did commit suicide, I was devastated, so much so that I though about doing it myself. I no you feel bad because you think its your fault, the truth is things happen in life that people don't have control of. He is in a place where he can get help, and he went there on his own free will which means he want to get better.

Its going to be hard, and I'm sorry to say but it will be hard for you two to work it out. Give him space and let him come to you, because in time he will. He has decided to get help because of the bad times you two had. So if he does get better chances are he will want to speak to you, whether it is to say goodbye or to try to work on it. Hold tight and live your life until that happens. That's all I can say, and good luck, I hope it all works out for you.

[LearningAsIGo]

Kudos to you for doing the right thing! You saved his life with that phone call and I'm amazed that the clarity of mind it must have taken to do that. So many people ignore the warning signs of a suicide so its amazing to me that you got him the help he needs.

Guilt is a natural feeling to have in this situation. It will likely improve with time and continued counseling, but the key here is that you do what the counselor recommends. You both need help and luckily, you're both getting it. (yay!)

Really, time is what is takes, which is hard to patiently wait for. Try reconnecting with loved ones, spend some time writing or doing art... anything that gives you time to feel positively and look toward the future and a new beginning.

Good luck to you!