[Guidostern]

Yeah, go cold turkey... if you show little interest, or just back off a little more, the feelings you had before could start to resurface and you could end up for more disappointment and heartache...

Like Tal says, you're doing good... just keep trucking on...

[DazT]

Cold turkey it is! I sent her a very drunken message the other night saying that, "Things are so confusin but I still love you" and she replied the next day asking me was I drunk! She said that she would do her best not to make things confusing any more!

That night she sent me a drunken message saying that she wishes I was at her party.. but she never invited me to it in the first place.

So that was okay. Yesterday I try to get her to come out with mine AND her friends at the weekend for halloween, and she says she has other plans. Then I asked her to meet up tomorrow for a while and she says she has other plans.

So that's it. I've deleted her number, it's time to stop living in the past and time to realise I'm too good for her.

[High Max]

I'm glad, DazT. Don't let her play games with your heart anymore. You can overcome this.

[kctiger]

Rebuild your life... I promise you, you will be happier in the long run. Eventually you will be so happy with yourself and where you are going that you won't be saying, "I wish I could go back in the past and fix the things I DID WRONG." That will be history, believe me! You are going to be one incredible person when the dust settles.

[DazT]

Well I have stuck to the no contact since. Almost a week now..

I keep thinking about how she came back into contact 6 months later, telling me she still had feelings for me and she still loved me and all that crap.

I found out today that she is now seeing somebody else when we were still meeting up. That's why she couldn't meet up last week when I asked her to because she was away to the cinema with another guy. And she couldn't even tell me.

It gets me sooo angry even thinking about it. She was the one to come crawling back to me after 6 months.. then when I meet her up, she goes back to her usual tricks and then starts seeing another boy!

16 year old girls for you.

[Guidostern]

Oh yeah... you're doing the right thing... if she's going to lie to you, then she's not worth your time... she'll just continue to lie to you as long as she knows that she can get away with it... that's the immaturity on her part... but there will be others, you can count on it...

[DazT]

She didn't really lie to me, she just didn't tell me that she's been meeting up with another boy when she's supposed to be dating me! But that's probably worse than lying.

Still on no contact, however.. she sent me a text message the other day.. I never replied but it's making me think of her more and making me feel bad. I have no idea why. Maybe I need closure or maybe I need to tell her that she's done wrong to me and that I don't want to see her again?

[kctiger]

Closure is a state of mind, and nothing else. When you split up, that was closure, you just chose not to accept it. Leave her behind and give no more attention to her. You owe each other nothing, even so called "closure"

[DazT]

Well we did all that when we broke up 8 months ago! But she doesn't know I know that she's seeing another boy, I don't even know if she is. All I know is that she chose to go to the cinema with another boy instead of going to meet up with me.

So she doesn't even know that I'm really hurt and want to move on. The question is - do I tell her?

[kctiger]

Nope. No reason to tell her. She is wasted emotion and nothing more.

[DazT]

Anybody spending their first Christmas in a couple of years single? Sometimes it's hard, sometimes it's exciting, it's a bit strange. Does anybody else think of the relationship you and your ex had this time last year?

[kctiger]

I do, a lot. This is the first time if five years I haven't been with my ex. I think about New Year's Eve, and not being together, hell... I even think about Valentines Day already. It is what it is. I will live through it, but if I had my choice, I would fast forward to get past all of these 'special' holidays that are over glorified with having that special someone in your life.

[DazT]

I love Christmas and I'll still enjoy this festive period but in the back of my mind I will be thinking of ex at times. I always hated new year, this one is going to be as twice as bad. Never liked Valentines either, but this years going to be worse again.

Oh well, things could be worse!

[debdoes]

Oh yes! It's already in 2 weeks and I've done nothing to prepare for it... can't wait till it's over!

[southerngalps]

My first christmas by myself in 4 years. I can't even wish him a merry christmas or anything. He is no longer with us. Well, I can in my prayers... you know... it's just not the same.

At least we have our families and friends.

God bless everyone and have a safe and wonderful holiday :):):)

[starbuck8]

My Christmas is especially hard. I was with my ex for many yrs. We had many fantastic Christmas memories! Ones with the kids, romantic ones, and just great things that we did to celebrate.

Then we split because of his "problems." Two yrs ago this C'mas, he broke into my home because he was angry, and assaulted me and broke a lot of my bones.

I really have mixed emotions about Christmas now. It reminds me of both the good and the bad.

[starbuck8]

my first christmas by myself in 4 years. i can't even wish him a merry christmas or anything. he is no longer with us. well, i can in my prayers...you know...it's just not the same.

at least we have our families and friends.

God bless everyone and have a safe and wonderful holiday :):):)

I'm so sorry to hear that, and God bless you too! I hope you can make it through Christmas with the support of your family and friends... and of course all of us here!

[southerngalps]

I'm so sorry to hear that, and God bless you too! I hope you can make it through Christmas with the support of your family and friends...and of course all of us here!

Thanks so much, starbuck. It's kind of ironic... he passed away in September, but he did leave me with a precious gift, and didn't even know he did. I have a baby boy on the way.

Crazy hah?

I can imagine how you feel at christmas time. What a horrilbe memory! You are strong! And you have all of us here too! ;)

[kctiger]

Both you gals are awesome in my book! You two deserve the happiness that you will soon find. If I was around you, I would give you both a huge hug. God bless you both :)

[starbuck8]

Both you gals are awesome in my book! You two deserve the happiness that you will soon find. If I was around you, I would give you both a huge hug. God bless ya both :)

Big hugs back to Y'all! Merry Christmas you guys! Oops, a few tears! :)