9 threads merged

Hi,

I have been seeing my girlfriend for 2 years now and at the minute Im having problems. At the start, we were all over each other, texted each other all the time, even had each other as our mobile wallpaper. Over the last 2 or 3 months though, I think my girlfriend has drifted away from me a bit. Hardly any more texts, it seems she doesn't want to lie with me when we're in the house together.

She used to always say how much she loved me but now I have to say it first.

Is she drifting away from me?

Sometimes this can happen when people get comfortable in a relationship. They don't see the need for the constant texts and hanging all over each other. The best thing you can do is ask her what is going on and why it has become this way. She may not realize that she is hurting you, or she actually could be drifting away. The only way to find out is to ask.

Yeah, well we're both quite young..

Ok, 5 years ago.. she was completely obsessed with me (she would have been around 10/11 at the time), I'm two years older. I'm 17 and she's 16. She asked me out loads of times and 2 years ago I agreed to go out with her for a date...

We kept seeing each other so I asked her to be in a relationship with me. She agreed and here we are now.

Recently, she has got this addiction to a celebrity. She never shuts up about him (reminds me of what she was like with me 5 years ago)... suddenly most of that attention to me has gone to him.. (her mobile picture, posters in her room).. I know it's stupid and immature to be jealous of a celebrity, but I can't help it. It's like he's took my spot...

Women thinking about celebrities is just a fantasy. Fantasies can never replace the real thing. The fact that you care so much makes you sound like a really good guy. Just tell her how you feel or she will never know.

I have told her, and she dismisses it by saying "So what if I have him as my computer picture?".. I asked her not to talk about him so much, and it worked for a while but now she's as bad as ever.

She doesn't want to kiss any more.. not even really touch! Should I dump her or should I wait and see if things get back to the way they were?

Before you going to the extreme of dumping her I would have a long talk with her about your relationship. If you can't come to a resolution then I think it might be best if you go your separate ways. Just make sure that you tell her you are serious and not just playing around. Sometimes women don't take us men seriously when it comes to serious talks.

Hello all,

Me and my girlfriend broke up around 4 or 5 months ago. We completely broke up for 2 months but recently we have been getting closer again, texting each other a lot, phoning each other every night, doing things that boyfriends/girlfriends do.

The only problem is, that she is still flirting with other boys. She has told me that she has been with other boys recently and even though they didn't do anything sexually, that they were touching if you know what I mean.

The only reason I'm seeing her at the minute is because I'm trying to move things slowly to get back into the relationship again. But knowing that she is doing things with other boys, flirting with other boys etc.. Its hurting me.

Should I try to ignore this or should I just throw in the towel?

Be careful, she may be leading you on or just using you to satisfy her spare time. How did the relationship end anyway?

We are young, 17 and 16.. we were seeing too much of each other and we both needed a break from it all. I went no contact for 2 months and she came back to me and we agreed to move things slowly.

Been there myself mate, I'm 21 now. I was 18 she was 16, we saw each other too much she wanted to go out with her friends as well, not sure if this is the case with your girl? Does she go out with mates? It looks like no contact has worked but I'd still be careful, you've got to understand that she's only 16years old, she is growing up and she will definitely not know true love or anything like that. Trust me I've been there. Ask her casually next time if she fancies going to watch a film or go bowling or something like that, say it's my treat. But of course she's going to be a bit flirty with other boys if she isn't with you. That's what girls that age do... it's there idea of fun. It's nothing more, so don't worry about that.

Yeah, she's ALWAYS with her friends now.. that's why it would be very hard to get her back in a steady relationship.

It's just that she's going out with other boys now too.. nothing serious but she is still seeing other boys. I'm seeing other girls too, but if she were to ask me to be her boyfriend again, I would say yes in an instant.

You said no contact worked, and I think it did too. What I'm still doing is treating her mean to keep her keen.. that's working too. Now she does most of the chasing after me, she is the one that's asking me to meet up, she's the one that starts texting me..

You've got the luxury of it all then haven't you? Your only a teen once. She will eventually grow away from her mates and prefer to be with her guy, especially when her own mates start growing up and having boyfriends. Just be straight with her, ask her how she feels after all this time? I wouldn't worry too much, especially at that age. Just go with the flow.

But I'm not happy.. and I don't understand it. Everything else in my life is going perfectly.. things aren't even bad between me and her, so why am I always thinking about her?

I have talked to her about how she's feeling (haven't brought it up in about 3 weeks) and she says she's happy with the way things are going between us but she doesn't want a steady relationship at the minute because she is too young.

I don't know if I'm happy or not though. She wants to see each other for the minute, but I don't think you can move from being very exclusive and serious to an open relationship..

No your not throwing in the towel, your not defeated. To observe another's behavior can give insight into their down hill slide which could end in their defeat not yours. Put the thoughts of a relationship in the back room and lock the door. Focus on strengthening your resolve to stay back because she needs time and maybe lots of time to get past childhood. You don't want to regress and learn everything over do you? You have gone through that and your future is in reach. Be smart and don't try to change her behavior, that's for her to deal with and she may find comfort in living as a child for the rest of her life. You have choices just like millions of others have and now is not the time to be the Lone Ranger unless you enjoy the though of having Tonto couterize your every wound with a line of flaming gun powder.

Just stick with her and carry on what your doing, like you said your seeing other girls too right? So don't push her away, the ball's in your court.

What I mean by throwing in the towel is by just giving up on her and moving on..

Yeah but I don't feel the same way about her, all I'm thinking of is how it used to be when we were going out exclusively.

Maybe I will get her back that way soon, but to me, this seems like its going to be the way its going to stay..

Can I get some more opinions on this please?

Ignore her completely. Cut her off before she makes you worst. She will if you let her. Good Luck!

Me and my girlfriend of 2 years broke up a few months ago but started seeing each other a couple of months after we broke up. We have been seeing each other for 2 months now..

When we broke up, I kissed her friend and this hurt her a lot. I never told her, she found out by someone else telling her, to make things worse. Well we have been seeing each other again and lately it's just like we were in an exclusive relationship again.. meeting up quite a lot, very touchy and close.. etc. etc..

So last night we met up and she told me that she has something to tell me.. she told me that she was doing sexual activies (not intercorse) with a guy that went to my school.. now before we started going out she has had a history with this guy.. she has had sexual activity with him twice before..

When we were going out I didn't let her talk to him and she didn't want to. I am heartbroken by her confession and asked her why..

She told me she was pissed off about me kissing her friend and that she had took drink when she seen him.. she has been on the phone crying and begging me not to dump her.. but now the beggings over and she asked me do I want to finish it..

What should I do?

Listen, you guys were broken up. She was able to see whomever she chose. The same went for you. You kissed her friend, I think that's a tad bit worse. Don't be the pot calling the kettle black. Just get over it and forgive her.