[Jewish Gal]

"Sam" does not think of himself as my boyfriend. He introduces me as, "His friend Deborah". He only sees me alone, very rarely with his friends or acquaintances. He only wants me over his house "overnight" about 1-2 nights a week. The other nights he makes certain that he "keeps me awake" so that I leave accordingly. He acts jealous about the flowers sent to me by another male, and then says, "it is fine". So, he OBVIOUSLY has a commitment problem. He still talks about his "ex-wife" like it was yesterday that she left him. (They were divorced over 20 years ago) He wants me to always say that we are friends only to his ex-girlfriend, who is a good friend of mine. (Actually I introduced the two of them about 20 years ago when he was getting divorced and they dated for just over a year) He goes to Las Vegas about every other month with another couple and will not let me come. I am an idiot. I don't know why I hang around with him, except that I am in love with him. I feel like if I "stay around" long enough, he will see that he loves me?

Thanks!

[nicespringgirl]

How old are you both?

[montecarlo42507]

It sounds like he might be playing you and that he has more than one special "friend" my dad keeps his personal life very separate from his every day social life because he has numerous girlfriends at once and doesn't like it when they find out about each other. My dad has been dating his current "main girlfriend" for over twelve years and just now has started inviting her along when we do things together. You might love him but he is probably using you and if he were in love with you as much as you are in love with him he probably wouldn't be keeping you a secret. Everyone deserves better than that... you might want to evaluate your relationship and decide if things remain as they are right now is it really worth continuing the relationship. I know it sucks and it is a really hard decision also he might appreciate what you had more if he realizes that you are not willing to wait for him forever... some people don't know how good they have it until it is gone

[EN Ken]

Monte Carlo's got the right idea on this one.

If he's unwilling to be exclusive with you then it's safe assumption that there's probably someone else. It is fairly tactless to introduce as "a friend" but I think the point is made.

It is unlikely that you staying and having the same relationship that you're having with him right now will change anything. If you want him to see you as a girlfriend and potential wife, then you need to satisfy the emotional needs that you're not satisfying at the moment. That's the only way to do it, if it's even possible because it may be that he's simply not willing to get into another serious relationship at this point.

[SimpleguyJoe]

To add what has already been said I don't think that you love him in the real sense of the term. Love should be something shared and in this case your only giving and he is only taking. Maybe your only infatuated with this guy and that's why you can't see past his flaws. I would drop this kind of person fast, none of us are getting any younger so why waste time with somebody who you don't have a future with?

[JBeaucaire]

What's with all the 2 year old threads getting new answers? Watch those dates, people!