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    Missing_thoughts's Avatar
    Missing_thoughts Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jul 30, 2007, 11:18 AM
    Closing up?
    Okay me and my boyfriend have been having sex for a while now, but it seems like every single time we do I close up way to fast even with out an orgasm. I mean we can forplay for hours on end but as soon as we have sex I close. It pisses us both off very badly, its not like its my fault though. I want to have sex longer but "it" just won't let me. This has never happened with me and any other guys before, why him? If you have any advice PLEASE tell me
    GlindaofOz's Avatar
    GlindaofOz Posts: 2,334, Reputation: 354
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    #2

    Jul 30, 2007, 11:19 AM
    I don't understand, what is "closing up"?
    Missing_thoughts's Avatar
    Missing_thoughts Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Jul 30, 2007, 11:22 AM
    See I have never heard that term until I went out with him. He says it just closes, like its done, no more. Sucks . But its never happened with any other guy before, so I don't know what's going on
    GlindaofOz's Avatar
    GlindaofOz Posts: 2,334, Reputation: 354
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    #4

    Jul 30, 2007, 11:26 AM
    What closes? You need to explain this if you want help. If you are having sex you should be able to use the appropriate names for body parts.
    Missing_thoughts's Avatar
    Missing_thoughts Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Jul 30, 2007, 11:28 AM
    Oh sorry my vagina just closes as he puts it. Which doesn't really make sense to me because he can still finger me put he said that he can't fit his penis in after a while
    Kattalover's Avatar
    Kattalover Posts: 120, Reputation: 20
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    #6

    Jul 30, 2007, 11:28 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Missing_thoughts
    He says it just closes, like its done, no more.
    I am not sure what he's talking about. Is he trying to penetrate you but can't for some reason? Maybe because he's not hard enough? Or are you tensing up? Is there any pain?

    Your vaginal opening is large enough for a baby. Unless you're suffering from vaginism (Vaginismus) - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia, I can't imagine why you shouldn't be able to have intercourse.
    GlindaofOz's Avatar
    GlindaofOz Posts: 2,334, Reputation: 354
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    #7

    Jul 30, 2007, 11:29 AM
    Okay, that is stupid and completely not true.

    How old are you and how old is he?
    Kattalover's Avatar
    Kattalover Posts: 120, Reputation: 20
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    #8

    Jul 30, 2007, 11:31 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Missing_thoughts
    oh sorry my vagina just closes as he puts it. which doesnt really make sense to me because he can still finger me put he said that he can't fit his penis in after a while
    How old are you two?

    Again, your vagina is large enough to allow a baby to pass through. It will definitely stretch enough to admit a penis!
    Missing_thoughts's Avatar
    Missing_thoughts Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
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    #9

    Jul 30, 2007, 11:35 AM
    We are both 19. I know and that's why it doesn't make sense to me. After he pulls out once he says he can't put it back in. I don't think I was tense and yes he was hard. Yea actuly it was really weird I did feel pain, like almost losing my virginity again. Is that bad
    GlindaofOz's Avatar
    GlindaofOz Posts: 2,334, Reputation: 354
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    #10

    Jul 30, 2007, 11:37 AM
    Your boyfriend needs an anatomy lesson. It is impossible for your vagina to collapse in the middle of sex. Maybe you just get tight again.

    Again your vagina is not closing up.

    Whenever it happens take a break and maybe wait like a half hour before having sex again. Maybe your vaginal muscles are tensing and you just don't realize it.
    Kattalover's Avatar
    Kattalover Posts: 120, Reputation: 20
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    #11

    Jul 30, 2007, 11:41 AM
    If there is pain, you're probably just not aroused and lubricated enough.

    My guess is that he's still fairly inexperienced and probably a bit clumsy. My recommendation is to take it more slowly, play with each other, and relax.

    Most important of all: have SAFE sex!
    Kattalover's Avatar
    Kattalover Posts: 120, Reputation: 20
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    #12

    Jul 30, 2007, 11:42 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by GlindaofOz
    It is impossible for your vagina to collapse in the middle of sex.
    :p That mental image is just too funny!
    Missing_thoughts's Avatar
    Missing_thoughts Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
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    #13

    Jul 30, 2007, 12:04 PM
    Okay thanks for the advise I have to tell him this. Hes like getting mad at me cause he thinks its like my fault. Like last night he got so mad that he just left.
    Missing_thoughts's Avatar
    Missing_thoughts Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
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    #14

    Jul 30, 2007, 12:05 PM
    It is isn't it lol. Maybe not because there wasn't very much lub on the condom. And I will NEVER have unpretected sex never have never will until I'm married and ready for children
    GlindaofOz's Avatar
    GlindaofOz Posts: 2,334, Reputation: 354
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    #15

    Jul 30, 2007, 12:07 PM
    You guys may even want to try a lubricant it might help. Maybe it feels "closed up" because you aren't wet again. Like I said take a break and come back to it and see what happens. Tell your boyfriend to chill out too. Geez, get an anatomy book and explain it to him.
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,490, Reputation: 2853
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    #16

    Jul 30, 2007, 12:27 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by GlindaofOz
    Your boyfriend needs an anatomy lesson. It is impossible for your vagina to collapse in the middle of sex. Maybe you just get tight again.

    Again your vagina is not closing up.

    Whenever it happens take a break and maybe wait like a half hour before having sex again. Maybe your vaginal muscles are tensing and you just don't realize it.
    UM... in most cases that's correct... I did date one girl about 20 years ago that did have that much strength and control of her vaginal mussels, damn shame she had such a poor personality. She literally could clamp down enough to prevent entry and enough if you were insider her to definitely feel uncomfortable. However I agree the lack of lubrication is the most likely answer in this case.
    Kattalover's Avatar
    Kattalover Posts: 120, Reputation: 20
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    #17

    Jul 30, 2007, 01:14 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Missing_thoughts
    Hes like getting mad at me cause he thinks its like my fault. Like last night he got so mad that he just left.
    No wonder you're tense! Are you sure you want to be with this guy?
    Xrayman's Avatar
    Xrayman Posts: 1,177, Reputation: 193
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    #18

    Jul 30, 2007, 03:52 PM
    The term is vaginismus or a spasm that causes the entrance to the vagina to tense up-closing it off.

    Usually this affects women/girls who are worried or stressed about something. Worrying about it (and the immature behaviour of your partner) cause me to think that until you both chill out a little, the problem will escalate.

    Concentrate on less penetrative sex-mutual masturbation etc.
    BABYDRAMA's Avatar
    BABYDRAMA Posts: 22, Reputation: 2
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    #19

    Jul 30, 2007, 09:56 PM
    It Sounds Like Your Not Getting Wet Enough Or In The Middle Of Sex You Might Dry Up Wich Is Normal Just Get Some Lube And Use It When It Starts To Get Tigh Again.problem Solved It Has Happened To Me Many Times.
    dcole's Avatar
    dcole Posts: 38, Reputation: 8
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    #20

    Jul 30, 2007, 11:16 PM
    I can't believe that you're even going to consider having sex with a guy that walks out because he gets upset that he can't get his penis back inside your vagina! That's sad. You must have felt aweful when he left.

    I think it's time you stop having sex with that guy and focus on the other parts of your relationship... like communicating and being there for each other!

    By the way, it does sound like lack of lubrication - no big deal.
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