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-   -   Closing up? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=114868)

  • Jul 30, 2007, 11:18 AM
    Missing_thoughts
    Closing up?
    Okay me and my boyfriend have been having sex for a while now, but it seems like every single time we do I close up way to fast even with out an orgasm. I mean we can forplay for hours on end but as soon as we have sex I close. It pisses us both off very badly, its not like its my fault though. I want to have sex longer but "it" just won't let me. This has never happened with me and any other guys before, why him? If you have any advice PLEASE tell me
  • Jul 30, 2007, 11:19 AM
    GlindaofOz
    I don't understand, what is "closing up"?
  • Jul 30, 2007, 11:22 AM
    Missing_thoughts
    See I have never heard that term until I went out with him. He says it just closes, like its done, no more. Sucks . But its never happened with any other guy before, so I don't know what's going on
  • Jul 30, 2007, 11:26 AM
    GlindaofOz
    What closes? You need to explain this if you want help. If you are having sex you should be able to use the appropriate names for body parts.
  • Jul 30, 2007, 11:28 AM
    Missing_thoughts
    Oh sorry my vagina just closes as he puts it. Which doesn't really make sense to me because he can still finger me put he said that he can't fit his penis in after a while
  • Jul 30, 2007, 11:28 AM
    Kattalover
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Missing_thoughts
    He says it just closes, like its done, no more.

    I am not sure what he's talking about. Is he trying to penetrate you but can't for some reason? Maybe because he's not hard enough? Or are you tensing up? Is there any pain?

    Your vaginal opening is large enough for a baby. Unless you're suffering from vaginism (Vaginismus) - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia, I can't imagine why you shouldn't be able to have intercourse.
  • Jul 30, 2007, 11:29 AM
    GlindaofOz
    Okay, that is stupid and completely not true.

    How old are you and how old is he?
  • Jul 30, 2007, 11:31 AM
    Kattalover
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Missing_thoughts
    oh sorry my vagina just closes as he puts it. which doesnt really make sense to me because he can still finger me put he said that he can't fit his penis in after a while

    How old are you two?

    Again, your vagina is large enough to allow a baby to pass through. It will definitely stretch enough to admit a penis!
  • Jul 30, 2007, 11:35 AM
    Missing_thoughts
    We are both 19. I know and that's why it doesn't make sense to me. After he pulls out once he says he can't put it back in. I don't think I was tense and yes he was hard. Yea actuly it was really weird I did feel pain, like almost losing my virginity again. Is that bad
  • Jul 30, 2007, 11:37 AM
    GlindaofOz
    Your boyfriend needs an anatomy lesson. It is impossible for your vagina to collapse in the middle of sex. Maybe you just get tight again.

    Again your vagina is not closing up.

    Whenever it happens take a break and maybe wait like a half hour before having sex again. Maybe your vaginal muscles are tensing and you just don't realize it.
  • Jul 30, 2007, 11:41 AM
    Kattalover
    If there is pain, you're probably just not aroused and lubricated enough.

    My guess is that he's still fairly inexperienced and probably a bit clumsy. My recommendation is to take it more slowly, play with each other, and relax.

    Most important of all: have SAFE sex!
  • Jul 30, 2007, 11:42 AM
    Kattalover
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by GlindaofOz
    It is impossible for your vagina to collapse in the middle of sex.

    :p That mental image is just too funny!
  • Jul 30, 2007, 12:04 PM
    Missing_thoughts
    Okay thanks for the advise I have to tell him this. Hes like getting mad at me cause he thinks its like my fault. Like last night he got so mad that he just left.
  • Jul 30, 2007, 12:05 PM
    Missing_thoughts
    It is isn't it lol. Maybe not because there wasn't very much lub on the condom. And I will NEVER have unpretected sex never have never will until I'm married and ready for children
  • Jul 30, 2007, 12:07 PM
    GlindaofOz
    You guys may even want to try a lubricant it might help. Maybe it feels "closed up" because you aren't wet again. Like I said take a break and come back to it and see what happens. Tell your boyfriend to chill out too. Geez, get an anatomy book and explain it to him.
  • Jul 30, 2007, 12:27 PM
    smoothy
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by GlindaofOz
    Your boyfriend needs an anatomy lesson. It is impossible for your vagina to collapse in the middle of sex. Maybe you just get tight again.

    Again your vagina is not closing up.

    Whenever it happens take a break and maybe wait like a half hour before having sex again. Maybe your vaginal muscles are tensing and you just don't realize it.

    UM... in most cases that's correct... I did date one girl about 20 years ago that did have that much strength and control of her vaginal mussels, damn shame she had such a poor personality. She literally could clamp down enough to prevent entry and enough if you were insider her to definitely feel uncomfortable. However I agree the lack of lubrication is the most likely answer in this case.
  • Jul 30, 2007, 01:14 PM
    Kattalover
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Missing_thoughts
    Hes like getting mad at me cause he thinks its like my fault. Like last night he got so mad that he just left.

    No wonder you're tense! Are you sure you want to be with this guy?
  • Jul 30, 2007, 03:52 PM
    Xrayman
    The term is vaginismus or a spasm that causes the entrance to the vagina to tense up-closing it off.

    Usually this affects women/girls who are worried or stressed about something. Worrying about it (and the immature behaviour of your partner) cause me to think that until you both chill out a little, the problem will escalate.

    Concentrate on less penetrative sex-mutual masturbation etc.
  • Jul 30, 2007, 09:56 PM
    BABYDRAMA
    It Sounds Like Your Not Getting Wet Enough Or In The Middle Of Sex You Might Dry Up Wich Is Normal Just Get Some Lube And Use It When It Starts To Get Tigh Again.problem Solved It Has Happened To Me Many Times.
  • Jul 30, 2007, 11:16 PM
    dcole
    I can't believe that you're even going to consider having sex with a guy that walks out because he gets upset that he can't get his penis back inside your vagina! That's sad. You must have felt aweful when he left.

    I think it's time you stop having sex with that guy and focus on the other parts of your relationship... like communicating and being there for each other!

    By the way, it does sound like lack of lubrication - no big deal.

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