[helpplease3939]

It is going on a year now that I have been messing with a married man. Let me start by saying this is not something I am proud of and feel very bad. I am a very level headed person and although this does not support what I am about to say I hold a lot of respect for myself. This man is amazing and makes me world a better place. We have spent so much time together and he has admitted when he is away he thinks about me and when he is gone with his family on a trip he can't wait to come back and hangout. Something must be missing in his marriage or else this affair would not have continued for nine months. He is now gone for the next 18 days on a family trip and I am missing him more then ever. This time away is giving me time to think and that sometimes can be good and others be dangerous. I am not sure how his wife can be so blind. I mean there have been times when he sneaks out of his house calls me and has me pick him up, or comes over and does not return home until wee hours in the morning even though he has to be up for work at 7am. There was even one time when he did not go home until 5am and had to work at 7, and another when he did not come home at all and told his wife he slept in his truck because he drank too much , when it was father's day and he was here with me because he called me and had me pick him up because he had drank too much. The first night we did not mess around was that night so it was innocent enough, even though not really, but still this just makes me crazy. The signs are all there and she still seems to not see. There is a lot I don't know as I have no idea who his wife is. I know of her and know certain things but there is so much that is not said.

This man said he has thoughts of someday having what they have with me, yet he has said he could not leave because he would not do that to his children in which he has two under the age of 6. I Love him and has told me he cannot admit that he loves me too, or that he has become attached even though he has said both of those things on more then one occasion. He said that if he says that then he feels as if he is cheating on his wife 100% when anyone knows no matter what he admits we have crossed that line. What do I do where do I go now? I have said we cannot see each other that way anymore, but he is my best friend and having him out of my life completely just does not work for me. Someone needs to tell me heart and convince my heart that all I feel is wrong and he will never leave. Even though I feel something inside tell me that she is either going to find out about this affair and not by me, or he might realize his feelings for me are not going any where. Can someone please help me? Do married men ever leave their wives is my heart misleading me?

[talaniman]

Do married men ever leave their wives is my heart misleading me?

Your heart is being really deceived here as why would a man stop going where he can get free sex, and tell you anything and you'll believe it, and be his enabler in anything that makes him happy. You may not be able to help who you love, but you can sure as hell control what you do about it, so wise up and stop following your heart, and try using another part of your body, Your brain.

[Wondergirl]

If he truly loved you, he would move heaven and earth to be with you, kids or no kids.

But then, do you really want him to leave his wife to be with you? He would probably cheat on you just as easily as he is cheating on his wife. (How many were there before you came along?)

I say stop allowing him to have his cake and eat it too. Run, run like the wind.

[dcole]

this man said he has thoughts of someday having what they have with me, ...

What is it that you want? Being married to a man that will cheat on you? Ha ha. You say that you are reasonable... but you're not acting it. You're even acting messed up enough to imply that his wife is to blame for not noticing him being away at odd hours of the night. Maybe she TRUSTS him! That's actually a good quality, remember?

I really do believe that you are a smart girl... it's just that you're in too deep and need a little space to see things clearly. Take some time for yourself and figure out exactly what you want. If you think you want to be with this man, tell him and let him know he has to first divorce his wife. You've been too scared of losing him to give him this ultimatum. If he really loves you he'll leave her and their children to be with you. More realistically, you'll find out that he won't leave and you'll have your answer. I'm sure you don't want to spend the rest of your life being his mistress and being lied to by this man. I bet you also know that spending your days obsessing and crying over any guy isn't worth it. You know you deserve better... so wise up girl!

[happylady123]

Once a cheater always a cheater. If he leaves his wife or not he will most likely cheat on you. And how do you know he isn't already cheating on both of you with other women. If he hasn't let his wife yet he probably won't. It's not about his kids because there are plenty of kids that have divorced parents. This guy is not worth your pain. You need to look for a man who isn't involved with someone, he needs to be able to give you 100% and this man is not. I have to feel bad for his wife, wouldn't you want to know if your hubby was cheating on you? I would break it off with the guy, and to be honest his wife deserves to know, because if it's not you he's always going to cheat on her with someone. This is a tough situation but you owe it to yourself and his wife to leave and find someone better.

[GlindaofOz]

IDo married men ever leave their wives is my heart misleading me?

They usually do not. A good friend of mine was involved with a married man and her scenario was identical to yours. He loved her but couldn't leave her for the children. He said he and has wife hadn't had sex in over 10 years (yet they had a 6 year old, interesting) and that he wasn't in love with his wife and oh he loved her so much. Well she was convinced that he would leave his wife and they would be together. That was until she found out that she was not his first mistress, she was in fact his FIFTH.

Married men play around because of some insecurity or some other reason. They love the mistress because she's new and exciting and makes them feel amazing. Usually their lives with the wives are tedious and routine.

Do yourself a favor and tell him to call you once the divorce is final.

[DodgeBlue]

There's nothing worse than being labeled a homewrecker.

[Canada_Sweety]

Geet out & Leave... Don't bother with it just leave. When he leaves his wife and they're 100% over, THEN you can go off and be with him.

[nicespringgirl]

Geet out & Leave... Don't bother with it just leave. When he leaves his wife and they're 100% over, THEN you can go off and be with him.

Do you mean "Get out" instaed of "Geet Out"? Lol

[LearningAsIGo]

i Love him and has told me he cannot admit that he loves me too, or that he has become attached even though he has said both of those things on more then one occasion. He said that if he says that then he feels as if he is cheating on his wife 100% when anyone knows no matter what he admits we have crossed that line.

I'm sure you love him.. but you should DEMAND to be loved by someone who loves you back. I'm sorry, but he does not.

Do you want to talk to my mom?

She started dating a man who's wife divorced him for cheating on her. She married him and 2 months later, he was cheating on her. She dumped him, he married that girl and a year later was cheating on her.
Turns out he had a vasectomy after his 1st wife had their kids so he wouldn't have to "worry" while he cheated.

Do you want to talk to my friend?

Her husband cheated on her while they were still dating, but he swore he loved only her and would change. They got married, and he cheated 4x in a year. They're staying together because she "accepts" his behavior. I'm sure they're happy together. :(

Do you want to talk to my coworker?
She was married but dating a married man. She left her husband for him and broke up her family (kids are 5, 7)... but he decided not to leave his wife. They still sleep together though because "eventually" she'll get him to leave. Yea right.

My point is... RUN! He's using you for sex and nothing else.

[nicespringgirl]

Do you mean "Get out" instaed of "Geet Out"? lol

Muahaha, u love him do you? :D

Btw, do u know Emerson Drive? I love their "Moments".:)

[Canada_Sweety]

L0L!Yahhh!
Hmm... I want to get a tattoo... I know it's off topic but it just popped into my head:p

[nicespringgirl]

L0L!Yahhh!
Hmm... I want to get a tattoo... I know it's off topic but it just popped into my head:p

What! U going to get a tatto about Larry the Cable Guy?:D Man, I hope not...
j/k! I think u mean u like Emerson drive right?;)

[Canada_Sweety]

Yeahh.. I wanna get Larry the Cable guy on my a$$ and I wanna get a rose on my inner forearm...

[hettie]

Been there done that got my heart broken. I t is very rare for a married man to leave his wife but I thik if he truly loved you he would live in a mud hut and eat rice the rest of his days if it meant being with you OK extremem example but you get my point

This is the way I see it and yeah OK it weird but say this man who claims to love you right? And you love hin back? Well say he had an accident OK you would not be informed you may never even know if it was fatal you have no right to grieve in public you nay not even be able to attend the funneral now really is this what you want from someone you love to never be able to show emoyion or havre it showemn back I know it a weird way to puit it but you should be someone's be all and end all that means being able to be there at the end of it all.

I hope you find the strength to end it do not fall g for the no one will love you the way I do this is not meant as flattery and in the end you will be grateful no one love you this way as it is not a true love anyway