[cb2008]

My boyfriend and I have been trying to have a baby, we really want it regardless of what our peers think, (being at a difficult age that is). For the last month, we've been having unprotected sex. About a week and a half later, I went to the bathroom and noticed some light blood when I wiped. There wasn't anything in my underwear, just when I wiped. It's a couple of days before my next period, that is if its on time, cause I'm kind of irregular. Ive been having cramps like I'm getting ready to start my period, but I also know this could be a pregnancy sign as well. Not to mention, the cramps have been pretty bad, but I still haven't gotten any blood, the cramps started about a week ago. So is this my period, am I pregnant, or is it something else? :confused:

[nauticalstar420]

Being pregnant is a strong possibility, but it could also be a number of things.

There are some women that begin to cramp 5-7 days before their period. The spotting could actually be the beginning of your period.

The only way you can really tell is if you miss a period. If you miss your period, wait about a week, and then take an HPT. Make sure you use your first morning urine, it is the most accurate :)

[babieface85]

I do not want to scare you but it could be an early miscarriage. That's why many women do not tell every one they are pregnant if they get a positive result at 4-6 weeks pregnant. Many women experience early miscarriage and think it is their period. However, it could also be a million other things.

[JESSICAT23]

my boyfriend and i have been trying to have a baby, we really want it regardless of what our peers think, (being at a difficult age that is). for the last month, we've been having unprotected sex. About a week and a half later, i went to the bathroom and noticed some light blood when i wiped. there wasnt anything in my underwear, just when i wiped. Its a couple of days before my next period, that is if its on time, cause im kind of irregular. Ive been having cramps like im getting ready to start my period, but i also know this could be a pregnancy sign as well. Not to mention, the cramps have been pretty bad, but i still havnt gotten any blood, the cramps started about a week ago. So is this my period, am i pregnant, or is it something else? :confused:

It could be the beginning of your period or you could be having a miscarriage.you should see your doctor as soon as possible to find out if your pregnant or if there's anything else going on.

[J_9]

<shakes head. I just don't understand why young people want children so badly when there are inherent risks to the mother and child.

I hope I won't be paying for your baby. You got a job right? He's got a job? $8 an hour won't cut it. What happens if this baby is premature and has learning disabilities because you decided you wanted to be a mommy at such a young age? How will you handle that?

How will you raise a child with cerebral palsy because of a difficult pregnancy and delivery due to your age?

Sorry, I am so Synnical right now, but it makes me sick to see another baby come into the world that will probably end up in the welfare system because daddy did not stick around when the going got tough, and it will. You'll be just another girl here asking how to relinquish his rights.

[AYDINSMAMA06]

I Have To Agree With J-9 On This One. I Seen That You Are Only 18 And A Waitress. One Do You Not Understand That Once You Get So Far Along It Is Not Going To Be Easy To Stand On Your Feet All Day Long.
I Found Out I Was Pregnant With My Son When I Was 18 And Had Him When I Was 19. Oh And Of Course When I Was Pregnant Me And My Boyfriend (now Ex) Were Perfect, We Were Going To Have A Family And Be So Happy Together. Get A House And Blah Blah.. Then My Son Came. My Now Ex Has Not Seen Him In Months. Left The Hospital Not 20 Minutes After I Had Him. I Have Been Fighthing Him In Court For Child Support For Almost A Year Now. I Work Two Jobs 6 Days A Week To Just Make Ends Meet. ( And I Still Live With My Parents)
Im Not One To Lecture, But Babies Are Not Easy And They Change Everything... even Love. Your Boyfriend Doesn't Have To Stick Around And Take Care Of That Baby If He Gets Fed-up With It... You Do. And I Will Be The First To Tell You Raising A Child On Your Own Is Not Easy At All.

Here Are Something I Bet You Haven't Even Thought About Yet:

Who Is Going To Carry The Medical Insc. On The Baby. Do You Or Your Boyfriend Have A Job That Has Benefits? And If So Can The Baby Be Covered Under That

Who Is Going To Pay The Bills If Something Goes Wrong With The Baby (god Forbid) And You Or Him/her Have To Be In The Hospital Longer Than Usual

Who Is Going To Watch The Baby When You Two Are At Work?

If Your Boyfriend Does Run ( Which I Do Not Know Him But This Is Something That You Need To Look At. Again I Never In A Million Years Seen Mine Leaving) Who Is Going To Help You Raise That Baby? Can You Afford It On Your Own?


And Something I Have To Ask You. What Is The Rush To Have A Child? If It Is To Make The Relationship Better, That Is The Wrong Way To Go About It. Babies Put More Stress On A Relationship.


Think Really Long And Hard Before You Keep Trying.

[cb2008]

I Have To Agree With J-9 On This One. I Seen That You Are Only 18 And A Waitress. One Do You Not Understand That Once You Get So Far Along It Is Not Going To Be Easy To Stand On Your Feet All Day Long.
I Found Out I Was Pregnant With My Son When I Was 18 And Had Him When I Was 19. Oh And Of Course When I Was Pregnant Me And My Boyfriend (now Ex) Were Perfect, We Were Going To Have A Family And Be So Happy Together. Get A House And Blah Blah.. Then My Son Came. My Now Ex Has Not Seen Him In Months. Left The Hospital Not 20 Mins After I Had Him. I Have Been Fighthing Him In Court For Child Support For Almost A Year Now. I Work Two Jobs 6 Days A Week To Just Make Ends Meet. ( And I Still Live With My Parents)
Im Not One To Lecture, But Babies Are Not Easy And They Change Everything...even Love. Your Boyfriend Doesnt Have To Stick Around And Take Care Of That Baby If He Gets Fed-up With It... You Do. And I Will Be The First To Tell You Raising A Child On Your Own Is Not Easy At All.

Here Are Something I Bet You Havent Even Thought About Yet:

Who Is Going To Carry The Medical Insc. On The Baby. Do You Or Your Boyfriend Have A Job That Has Benifits?? And If So Can The Baby Be Covered Under That

Who Is Going To Pay The Bills If Something Goes Wrong With The Baby (god Forbid) And You Or Him/her Have To Be In The Hospital Longer Than Usual

Who Is Going To Watch The Baby When You Two Are At Work??

If Your Boyfriend Does Run ( Which I Do Not Know Him But This Is Something That You Need To Look At. Again I Never In A Million Years Seen Mine Leaving) Who Is Going To Help You Raise That Baby? Can You Afford It On Your Own??


And Something I Have To Ask You. What Is The Rush To Have A Child?? If It Is To Make The Relationship Better, That Is The Wrong Way To Go About It. Babies Put More Stress On A Relationship.


Think Really Long And Hard Before You Keep Trying.

1. We've been together two years, so yes we have thought long and hard about it. We both know that having a baby is a big responsibility, and isn't a walk in the park. Not to be rude or anything, but don't make it seem like we're stupid and don't know anything, because we do, or else I wouldn't be in this situation now!
2. We're not doing this to make our relationship better, we're doing it because we want a baby, no offense to J_9 up there, but what makes him so sure that there's going to be something wrong with our baby. Trust me on this, I live around a lot of teenagers who have become pregnant, a lot are my friends. So I know. There babies are just fine. I know its not right to say "If there babies fine, what makes me so different" so I'm not trying to sound like I know everything, I apologize if I do.
3. Yes I'm well aware that there always is the chance he could leave, don't worry that hasn't escaped my mind yet. Im just going wuith my better intuition of "we've been life long friends since kindergarden" So its not like I'm one of those girls that think they know their man when they don't, IVE KNOWN, AND BEEN FRIENDS WITH HIM SINCE I WAS 5 YEARS OLD!
4. His dad owns his own exterminating/construction business, and guess what, he works for him, and brings home a hell of a lot more that $8 dollars an hour.

I appreciate that you guys are concerned, I really am, and thank you for it. But all I did was ask a simple question, and I got a whole lot more than just an answer. Id like to save the lectures for my mom.

[J_9]

no offense to J_9 up there, but what makes him so sure that theres gonna be something wrong with our baby.

I'm a her, not a him. And what makes me so sure? My medical background that's what makes me knowledgeable. I didn't say I was sure, but you never know.

3. Yes im well aware that there always is the chance he could leave, dnt worry that hasnt escaped my mind yet. Im just going wuith my better intuition

This is actually pretty funny. Read all of the posts about how "he left me" "can I make him relinquish rights" etc. Those girls went with their intuition too.

Have you considered marriage first? Where it is harder for him to get out once the baby is born? I don't want to have to pay for your baby too. I already pay for my 4 and a few million others who are on welfare.

[Becca1025]

Why don't you get one of your friends to let you and your boyfriend watch their baby for a few days, especially those days you both work. See how it goes. Change the diapers, do the bottle feedings, take the baby EVERYWHERE, set up babysitters for when you're both at work, do the night feedings/changings, pay for all the stuff the baby will need during that time he/she stays with you. Then see if you still feel the same way.

Also since the big topic here is about being a young mommy, I just want to say want to say, I'm 19 years old. I'm 15 weeks pregnant, this pregnancy was not planned, I am not on welfare(so don't worry nobody will be paying for my baby and me), we bring home a lot more than $8 an hour, so far with all my tests and ultrasounds my baby is very healthy as am I, we own our own house, paid off cars, and no my baby will not be on the welfare system if my guy runs because I know how to save money and have a great job, my cousin just had a baby, we babysit and sometimes take the baby on weekends to make sure we know what we got ourselves into and are ready for when our little one comes, also our baby will be on the same insurance we are on, we are not married yet, even though that should not be an issue since not everyone shares the same values or views on religion, now what's with all the generalization? It's not fair to use the whole "you can't do it because your young" how about leaving the whole age and young part out of it, not everyone's situation is the same. How about saying "don't do it because you don't have your career set yet, you may not be financially stable enough, you have too many bills and no health insurance."

[J_9]

Becca, while I understand your argument, and it is a valid one, you are the exception to the rule. You are a very lucky woman in these respects.

We, though, are addressing the OP, who states in part:

we really want it regardless of what our peers think

So, her peers must have a bit more knowledge of her situation than we do. When formulating an answer we read the ENTIRE question word for word. This question screamed immaturity and lack of responsibility or her peers would be with her on this.

Again Becca, none of this was directed at you in particular, you are the exception.

[Becca1025]

I really think you should take into consideration about having one of your friends let the two of you babysit their baby for at least three days. Have them only bring the baby (car seat and craddle or something for the baby to sleep in of course), and you guys buy the rest of the stuff. Buy the clothing, the diapers, the wipes, the ointment, the food, the bottles, the formula, the toys, soap for baths, blankets, etc etc... See how much money you have to spend on those days alone then multiply it by 18 years. Take the baby everywhere you go (store, errands etc) Go to work like normal, find a babysitter for the baby (of course one that the parents approve of first) go home, play with the baby, feed baby, give baby a bath, diaper change, try to put baby to sleep, do all this while trying to cook and clean, then once baby falls asleep, you go to sleep, then every hour or couple of hours you'll both be woken up to feed/change baby. Then, uh oh, you run out of diapers at 4 in the morning. Got to go to the store. Then you go home, change baby, baby won't go to sleep, then you realize the baby only will fall asleep in the car. Got to get baby in the car seat and drive around a couple of blocks. You get home and the baby is asleep, you get out of the car and baby wakes up. Got to get back in the car. Then it's 6 in the morning, only a few more hours till work. You've only gotten four hours of sleep... it's going to be like that every night for a long time.


We have done that a few times with my cousins baby as soon as we found out we are expecting. As excited as we both are about bringing our bundle of joy into this world, we also know it's not easy at all. It will be a little bit harder then if it were your own baby, because my cousins baby was so used to her mom and dad and not used to strange people. She had to get used to us and our place and that was hard. It took her a long time. And guess what! She is one of those babies who fall asleep in the car. It's fun watching the baby and playing with the baby feeding the baby, saying "oh how cute," but that only lasts about an hour then you start getting tired and frustrated. After our first weeked of watching my cousins baby I was exhausted. SUnday morning my cousin came knocking on the door, I had her baby ready to go. I said "here take her I need to sleep." But when our baby is here we won't be able to just say "k it was fun here's your baby back." Seriously try it, you may change your mind and decide to wait for awhile.

[Kitschxbang]

I think that while everyone's opinion is valid, I would like to say that I support cb2008, if you truly believe that you and your partner are in this for life and that you can support a child, then all you can do is make sure you always keep the kid safe and healthy etc :) The people who have answered this question are only trying to help out, but only you know yourself and your partner and your coping ability to be a parent. I know a girl who was 16 when she got pregnant and she is a fantastic mom, her partner is in the same sort of job as yours and they are doing great financially and emotionally and are living a great life. I hope that this will be true for you guys, too :)
I wish you all the best with having a baby!

Kitschxbang

[Becca1025]

So did you take a pregnancy test yet??

[Kitschxbang]

J_9: I have recently got married, but before that I knew I was with my partner for life. I can see your point, but in this day and age I don't think marriage is a neccessity. More and more couples are staying together without ever getting married. Marriage may come, in time, but I know that I personally wanted to be married but didn't want the wedding: too much stress, too much money... it may not be something they want right now, or other reasons? :)

[margarita_momma]

J_9 agrees: But if they are in it for life, why wouldn't they be married?

J_9: I have recently got married, but before that I knew I was with my partner for life. I can see your point, but in this day and age I don't think marriage is a neccessity. More and more couples are staying together without ever getting married. Marriage may come, in time, but I know that I personally wanted to be married but didn't want the wedding: too much stress, too much money... it may not be something they want right now, or other reasons? :)

I have to agree with Kitsch. A lot of people aren't getting married now a days. Yeah getting married helps in the fact that your husband or wife can't just run off without going through a divorce but a lot of the moral and religious reasons for getting married are not that important anymore. I got married right out of high school (because I was one of the smart ones :rolleyes:. I wouldn't recommend that by the way) and got pregnant when I was 19. My ex husband and I went through a nasty divorce and custody battle this year. We are now trying to work things out and have decided to not EVER get married again. I am not a religious person and the only reason I got married the first time is because my ex wanted too and because I was told that is what you are supposed to do when you love someone. Being married has nothing to do with being happy with someone. We are much happier now than when we were married.

;)

[Terri.smith]

Who do yous think u are I was 18 when I had my little boy he was perfectly healthy need to mention well looked after.and I was a single mother so young but so proud.if this young lady wants to start a family correct me if I'm wrong is it any of your business.noo. Stop bullying and pick on someone your own size or just keep your stupid comments to yourself no one needs to explain there reasons to you no one.