[tcsa]

I hope you can help me out. I’m so confused. I’m 23 year old women and in a relationship the past 6 years to a guy I went to school with we are both 23 and live just down the road from each other. At school we were always just friend, that’s was all. But on the last day of school something brought us together we were only 17 with no cares in the world.. just enjoying the summer together. Then it just got serious.. we went to the school prom / debs together. And every since we just hit it off.. as I live in a small town everyone knows everyone and everything about everyone.. so everyone just always taught we’d be together forever. We get on well very well most of the time.. I am a jealous person but he can be worse so that can cause argument, we are now planning on building a house beside his home house in the next coming weeks, the mortgage is all approved and ready to go! Our relationship is a friendly kind of one, on our days off we go cinema , or get a take out. We moved in together just for 6 months to see how we get on… all we did was row so I use to just get tic and go to my friends or go out with my friends because I just couldn’t take it no more, then the reason we fight (he said) was because I didn’t care about him and I never bothered with.. all I did was went out with friends.. I just couldn’t win or wait to go home .When we go clubbing we go together but end up sit chatting other ends of the bar to friends. I enjoy my nites out with the girls as I can be me.. eg: he does not really like when I wear a mini skirt as he said he gets slagged from his mates because they eye me up! I feel like I have lost all my confidence and find myself very quiet when we are out. I am normally a very out going chatty person but rather than have a row I just sit and be quiet! Are sex life is fine but he expects sex 24/7 and rows / get thick with me if I don’t.. So I stand up to him a lot.. so there another row! I have some bads sides too, like I'm very stubborn and find I always want my way.. so this ends up in rows! I just feel I'm in a big hole I can't get out off. Underneath it I love my boyfriend.. but I'm not happy.. its like I love him but I'm not in love with him.. but how could I tell him. How could I tell his family or mine or friends.. we are all so close and feel it will be very hard! I care for him so much and really do not want to hurt him. What should I do ? I can't go on like this not been totally happy, maybe (as we always say) oh we’ll work though it.. but it just always seems to come back.
There a guy in the same town (lets call him Pat) really nice bloke that I had my eye on years ago.. put just always remained friends/ someone id say hi to or might have a quick chat as I went to school & college with his sister and we are quiet close, but he seems to really like me a good while now (as in a few years) he has a girlfriend of 2 years but has already told her he needs time and that his feelings are stronger from me.. he has said he’d make me so much happier and is finishing it with his girlfriend for me ( as he know my current boyfriend) and has asked me to think about things.. he want me to be happy and he said he has fallen for me.. maybe I'm just better off with neither but “pat” is a great guy and always think about him from time to time.. he just seems so much different than my current boyfriend!
I would love if someone gave me some advance I am really so confused.
Thanks in advance all

[mckenzie134]

Starting another relationship while you are in one is one of the most unhealthiest things to do. I can tell you cannot be alone. Going behind your boyfriends back of 6 years likethis you sound like a bit of a cow if your not happy leave and be single. Meet different guys and work out what you want. If you break it off and go with this pat guy I don't think it will work You want something you don't have but when you get it will you stillwant it?? Andif you find you don't then where does that leave you?? Girls always wantwhat theycant have and you know what when your boyfriends gone then you might realise you did have someone whowas there butthen again I don't know what his like. But there should be no arguments in the relationship f there is dump him there is more to life than arguing in the relationship you will only remain unappy andi don't wantto hear this crap about friends and family its your life when you go to sleep and lay nextto you boyfriend your not having sex with his family or your friends his the one you have to live with so majke the right decision now and save your life at 23 and move on!!

[Ulysses]

Rows and arguments are the result of your unwillingness to speak each others' language. You obviously don't seem to have good communication with each other. Please don't take it as morality lesson, but relationships are hard work with mutual compromise and understanding involved.

But I guess, once leaving him (for another guy) is on your mind, you going to do it anyway.

[ordinaryguy]

You have the early-twenties itch. I suppose you'll have to scratch it. I know I sure did. If you try to keep from scratching it, it'll probably make you crazy. The twenties are the hardest decade of life, I think, because everybody, including yourself, expects you to be all grown up and settled down, but no matter what, it's going to take another ten years of thrashing around to get there. If I knew an easy answer, I'd share it with you. I'm 61 and I still have itches, but I don't have to scratch them all any more.

[tcsa]

OK for get about the other guy (pat) its my relationship with my boyfriend that I care about! Am I mad dumping him.. I just need my space.. I can't handle any more rows or unhappiness

[emopunk7]

Hun, just let him down easily... I'd say to keep you and patrick a deep secret from him for at least six months if you care for his feelings. Remember, he will be VERY hurt, maybe for the rest of his life. Take it easy on him but at the same time firm so that you leave him no false hope... Therefore you help him move on and leave you alone while you get to move on. I hope this helped.