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    magprob's Avatar
    magprob Posts: 1,877, Reputation: 300
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    #1

    Jul 9, 2007, 01:46 PM
    New Diet
    I was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina for Lola
    And was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked
    If I had a dog... Duh! I was feeling a bit crabby so on
    Impulse, I told her no, I was starting The Purina Diet
    Again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended
    Up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds
    Before I awakened in an intensive care unit with tubes
    Coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

    Her eyes about bugged out of her head. I went on and
    On with the bogus diet story and she was totally buying
    It. I told her that it was an easy, inexpensive diet and
    That the way it works is to load your pockets or purse
    With Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every
    Time you feel hungry. The package said the food is
    Nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

    I have to mention here that practically everyone in the
    Line was by now enthralled with my story,particularly a
    Tall guy behind her. Horrified, she asked if something in
    The dog food had poisoned me and was that why I ended
    Up in the hospital. I said no... I'd been sitting in the street
    Licking my butt when a car hit me.

    I thought the tall guy was going to have to be carried
    Out the door.
    startover22's Avatar
    startover22 Posts: 2,758, Reputation: 363
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    #2

    Jul 9, 2007, 02:07 PM
    Is this a repeat? I will never forget the first time I saw this story. Ha! Love it. And I want to know why you don't think you are sexy? And why are the fruit of the loom guys giggling? LOL, you are too funny. I am going to walmart tonight and I am going to take my chances and do something funny. Thanks for the inspiration!
    magprob's Avatar
    magprob Posts: 1,877, Reputation: 300
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    #3

    Jul 9, 2007, 06:27 PM
    You think that is bad? Well, I was making love to this girl and she started crying.
    I said, "Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?" She said, "No,
    I hate myself now."
    startover22's Avatar
    startover22 Posts: 2,758, Reputation: 363
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    #4

    Jul 9, 2007, 06:45 PM
    Too funny hunny... LMAO!
    magprob's Avatar
    magprob Posts: 1,877, Reputation: 300
    Ultra Member
    		  
    #5

    Jul 9, 2007, 07:39 PM
    A hooker once told me she had a headache.
    startover22's Avatar
    startover22 Posts: 2,758, Reputation: 363
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    #6

    Jul 9, 2007, 07:54 PM
    Ha!
    bushg's Avatar
    bushg Posts: 3,433, Reputation: 596
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    #7

    Jul 29, 2007, 10:18 PM
    I'm snorting with laughter. Good one
    klovesj110603's Avatar
    klovesj110603 Posts: 58, Reputation: 3
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    #8

    Jul 29, 2007, 10:23 PM
    LOL u should post more your pretty funny
    startover22's Avatar
    startover22 Posts: 2,758, Reputation: 363
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    #9

    Jul 29, 2007, 10:24 PM
    Don't get Mag started... Don't do it!
    klovesj110603's Avatar
    klovesj110603 Posts: 58, Reputation: 3
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    #10

    Jul 29, 2007, 10:27 PM
    Aww come on we need a little laugh every now and then... speaking of which on americans funniest home videos this pug dog started screaming when the show came on TV I thought I was going to roll out of my chair... that would have been bad lol...
    bushg's Avatar
    bushg Posts: 3,433, Reputation: 596
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    #11

    Jul 29, 2007, 10:29 PM
    I have a friend that has a one eyed dog and every time she says bill clinton it barks and growls. When she says it louder and faster it barks louder and faster.
    klovesj110603's Avatar
    klovesj110603 Posts: 58, Reputation: 3
    Junior Member
    		  
    #12

    Jul 29, 2007, 10:32 PM
    Lol how cute. I have a winnie dog that hates to see herself in the mirror she she's it and she hids her face under the covers.
    bushg's Avatar
    bushg Posts: 3,433, Reputation: 596
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    #13

    Jul 29, 2007, 10:37 PM
    The first dog I ever had used to see himself in the mirror , he would whine and cry and jump at the mirror wanting to play with the other dog. Poor baby
    benn11's Avatar
    benn11 Posts: 1,036, Reputation: 43
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    #14

    Jul 30, 2007, 02:59 AM
    No, You didn't... How did the others react?

    Very funny!
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