I was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina for Lola
And was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked
If I had a dog... Duh! I was feeling a bit crabby so on
Impulse, I told her no, I was starting The Purina Diet
Again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended
Up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds
Before I awakened in an intensive care unit with tubes
Coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

Her eyes about bugged out of her head. I went on and
On with the bogus diet story and she was totally buying
It. I told her that it was an easy, inexpensive diet and
That the way it works is to load your pockets or purse
With Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every
Time you feel hungry. The package said the food is
Nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the
Line was by now enthralled with my story,particularly a
Tall guy behind her. Horrified, she asked if something in
The dog food had poisoned me and was that why I ended
Up in the hospital. I said no... I'd been sitting in the street
Licking my butt when a car hit me.

I thought the tall guy was going to have to be carried
Out the door.

Is this a repeat? I will never forget the first time I saw this story. Ha! Love it. And I want to know why you don't think you are sexy? And why are the fruit of the loom guys giggling? LOL, you are too funny. I am going to walmart tonight and I am going to take my chances and do something funny. Thanks for the inspiration!

You think that is bad? Well, I was making love to this girl and she started crying.
I said, "Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?" She said, "No,
I hate myself now."

Too funny hunny... LMAO!

A hooker once told me she had a headache.

Ha!

I'm snorting with laughter. Good one

LOL u should post more your pretty funny

Don't get Mag started... Don't do it!

Aww come on we need a little laugh every now and then... speaking of which on americans funniest home videos this pug dog started screaming when the show came on TV I thought I was going to roll out of my chair... that would have been bad lol...

I have a friend that has a one eyed dog and every time she says bill clinton it barks and growls. When she says it louder and faster it barks louder and faster.

Lol how cute. I have a winnie dog that hates to see herself in the mirror she she's it and she hids her face under the covers.

The first dog I ever had used to see himself in the mirror , he would whine and cry and jump at the mirror wanting to play with the other dog. Poor baby

No, You didn't... How did the others react?

Very funny!