[swim4ever22]

I'm sure this question has been asked before. To start, I'm a 19-year-old college student, I'm gay, and I've been dating my boyfriend for nearly a year. We're both very happy in our relationship, but this past weekend we got into an argument about sex. It wasn't a heated, angry fight, but more like a dispute.

Essentially... He feels like all I ever want or think about is sex. I have to have sex all the time, at least once or twice a day, and if I don't get it, I get angry or upset. He just doesn't want to or has no desire to have sex that much. At first, I was angry that he would make those accusations, but a few days later, after the argument had well been passed, I began to think about what he had said to me. I feel that most of what he has said is true. I don't think about/want sex "all the time", but it is more often than he does, and more often than any of his past boyfriends have ever wanted it. I usually want to have sex or do something sexual with him once or twice a day, as he said (I only get to see him on weekends since we live a few hours apart for now... ). And once he told me that he didn't want to have sex and just wanted to go to bed, I did get upset with him. When we're not together or if we don't do anything sexual, I always end up masturbating once or twice daily.

The point I'm trying to make is that I feel like I'm too sexual, and I want that to change, not just because of what he's said, but because I feel that me putting too much of an emphasis on the sexual aspect of our relationship will damage it in the long run. I feel like I'm too sexual, but I don't know how to control my sexual desires or urges. Any advice?

Thanks in advance. :)

[450donn]

The media plays into the stereotypical homosexual man as being highly oversexed. Are you trying to keep up with that stigma? Have you tried masturbation as a form of release?

[smoothy]

You are 19... learn to control your hormone controlled urges. We all do or have, well most of us anyway. This will pass as you begin to decide who is going to run the show... the big head or the little head.

[bEaUtIfUlbRuNeTtE]

Hey swimmy,

I am close to your age and honestly, I do think about it a lot. I often wonder if there is something wrong with me. Such as, "Am I a nympho? A sexaholic?" Then I realise that, it could be my age.

It is totally normal to want to share intimacy with someone you love all the time BUT with love comes respect. If your partner doesn't want to have sex, then fine. Shrug it off. Save it for another day. I find sex so much more exciting when we haven't done it for a couple of days. Try it. I know rejection can be hurtful, but it isn't the end of the world. I used to get mad but realized that it got me no where. Just more anger and more fights. I have decided to keep my hormones at level because I respect my boyfriend.

[swim4ever22]

Beautiful Brunette,

That's a way that I've not looked at it before. Thank you, and I'll keep that in mind. I mean, I do love and respect my boyfriend, but, I suppose if I'm pressuring him into sex, that's not a way of showing it... I will try and control those temptations.