[goodmommy2000]

My child's father abandoned her almost 3 years ago, no letters no support sent nothing. Now he is fighting me in court because he now wants to start a relationship with her. It is amazing to me that the state of NY does not ask any questions about his whereabouts where he was why did he left and why so abruptly he has returned with a vengeance. I have indeed moved on and am going to get married to a wonderful man who deeply loves my child. The court has already approved phone contact and now monitored visits. I know my ex-husband is an extremely jealous man and as soon as these monitored visits expire and they will let him see her un-monitored (which gives me chills up my spine, because he can easily kidnap her) he is going to start to manipulate my child who is 8 years old. We have tried to ask the court for a "full forensics evaulation" on my ex but we are falling on deaf ears. What rights do I have as Mother? How can I protect my child from not only my ex-husband, but from an extremely faultered court system?

[stinawords]

Do you have a lawyer? It sounds as if the judge is doing his/her job. They started slow with only phone contact and then move up to monitored visitation before anything else. That type of rulling would be expected anywhere in the states. They are looking out for the child's best interest while the father also has rights. Who will be monitoring the visitation? You can ask them to keep a journal of the visits that way if there is some questionable behavior that can be brought to the judges attention. Otherwise you got your judgement so all you can really do just support your daughter through her transition.

[excon]

What rights do I have as Mother? How can I protect my child from not only my ex-husband, but from an extremely faultered court system?

Hello mommy:

Other than leaving when he shouldn't have, what do you need to protect your daughter FROM? Sounds to me like you just don't want him around.

What rights do you have as a mother?? The same rights HE has as a father.

excon

[cdad]

My child's father abandoned her almost 3 years ago, no letters no support sent nothing. Now he is fighting me in court because he now wants to start a relationship with her. it is amazing to me that the state of NY does not ask any questions about his whereabouts where he was why did he left and why so abruptly he has returned with a vengeance. I have indeed moved on and am going to get married to a wonderful man who deeply loves my child. The court has already approved phone contact and now monitored visits. I know my ex-husband is an extremely jealous man and as soon as these monitored visits expire and they will let him see her un-monitored (which gives me chills up my spine, because he can easily kidnap her) he is going to start to manipulate my child who is 8 years old. We have tried to ask the court for a "full forensics evaulation" on my ex but we are falling on deaf ears. What rights do I have as Mother? How can I protect my child from not only my ex-husband, but from an extremely faultered court system?

The court system seems to be working with both of you as far as your child is concerned. One question I do have is.. did you do a full forensic evaluation on your current man before you let him into your child's life ?

[cdad]

The court system seems to be working with both of you as far as your child is concerned. One question I do have is.. did you do a full forensic evaluation on your current man before you let him into your child's life ?

[Quote] goodmommy2000 disagrees: Do you think I would make the same mistake twice? Of course I made sure that having any new man/woman enter into a child's life you need to find out all about that person. [ end quote ]

Ok you throw a reddie on myself and the last person excon for giving you legal advice that conforms with this board. I agree with excon and his opinion. I gave mine as to the state of the courts and what's going on in your given situation. I asked a question and you failed to answer it. Instead putting up a bad comment filled with snide remarks. You did that 2 times so far. So based upon that I do believe because I don't know you personally that yes you could make the same mistake twice. This board if filled with people in similar situations.

[Fr_Chuck]

I am sorry you are trying not to allow a father to have and use his legal rights. He will win, all you are doing is wasting a lot of money on lawyers that have no chance at all to win.
That is it in a nut shell. Unless he is a felon, a drug user, or some theft that you can prove to protect the child from, he will get monitored visits and then over night visits down the road. He most likely will get a number of weeks in the summer and so on. These are his rights,

And to be honest the court does not care where he was or what he was doing these last years. If you were not chasing him down trying to force child support those are your issues with him, not the courts.

So you don't like the truth, ( give reddies to correct answers) continue to pay an attorney who appears to be telling you what you want to hear as long as you have a check book to pay them with.

You need to be working on a good way to make him part of the child's life, it is going to happen with or without you being part of that plan.

[MsSingleMama]

I can completely understand why you are freaking out. This question is old, I'm just hoping everything turned out okay.

It is unbelievable to me that after that long of a time - 3 years - with no contact that a court would even humor this father's demands for shared custody. Ridiculous.

Sorry I couldn't have been here to answer this sooner.

**** links edited out FC