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    ChronicMJ's Avatar
    ChronicMJ Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jul 18, 2014, 01:19 AM
    I broke up with my boyfriend and I feel horrible
    I've been in this relationship for 6 months and recently I've lost feelings for him but I don't know why or how? I just broke up with him today and he didn't take it too well when I told him and in fact he turned the tables and started insulting me and calling me heartless and saying how I never loved him or never cared but I did. This was my first relationship and I know it wasn't long enough to be too upset over and I am 15 but I really don't want to hear anyone saying stuff like "get over it" because I've had tons of people tell me that already.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #2

    Jul 18, 2014, 02:27 AM
    Well,, you do, get over it.. it just takes time. What the ex boyfriend said is about normal, they want to place the blame somewhere.
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,490, Reputation: 2853
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    #3

    Jul 18, 2014, 04:56 AM
    Well, do you want to hear the truth... or some line of BS? Fact is you do have to "get over it"

    Unless you plan on being alone the rest of your life, never having a relationship with another human. You ARE going to have to go through this time and time again until you learn enough to know when you really do have a good thing.

    You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince.

    Sometimes you can break up and remain friends, sometimes you can just manage to have a breakup that's not nasty, most times a breakup isn't going to be pretty. Best thing you can do is just move on with your life and get over it, because you have no other choice, its part of life, it builds character, and its how you learn what to avoid in the future so you do a bette job in your next relationships. Do it right and most are better than what you at 15 thought was good. Fact is many will be FAR better because its how you learn what good really can be... by learning what bad is as well.

    It only hurts at first.....then you begine tio understand what everyone has said and it stops bothering you as much....in time you look back and laugh about what you ever saw in him in the first place adn why you let it bother you.
    Jake2008's Avatar
    Jake2008 Posts: 6,721, Reputation: 3460
    Emotional Health Expert
     
    #4

    Jul 18, 2014, 05:35 AM
    Sometimes there isn't a list you can put together to better understand what it is about him, and/or the relationship, that you have lost feeling for.

    What I admire about you is that you had the maturity and courage to end it. It didn't feel right to continue the relationship, and you were fair to both yourself, and him, to end it as best you could.

    So many adults stay in relationships that had obvious reasons to end, but hang on hoping the person will change, or the circumstances will change, or they are feeling stuck with a mortgage and kids. It was good you ended it, for whatever reasons.

    And those reasons you might not be able to quite put your finger on, but it wasn't working, and you didn't feel the same anymore, and that's enough. There are no expiry dates on relationships, some last longer, some don't last past a heartbeat, but there is no way to know.

    His reaction was probably initially anger as you've described, and shock and confusion. Those feelings, will eventually reach acceptance, and he will move on.

    I don't think that just 'getting over it' helps much, for either party. It's all a part of living in a world where there will be many relationships, and many breakups, and it doesn't get easier. But, it is the right thing to do, when you know it's not going to work, to leave with a little dignity, which you have done.

    I think you absolutely did the right thing.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #5

    Jul 18, 2014, 06:38 AM
    Breakup 101- You both have to get over it and move on. It takes time and some need more time than others.

    Break ups suck, and no one knows why feelings change but all that matters is what you do about it. You were honest, and that's a good thing. Now leave him alone to get over himself.

    It's a life lesson you learn from about yourself and your feelings. They are subject to change and no telling the reaction you will get when they do from others.

    Break ups 101- Breakups always suck! So just be/STAY HONEST.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #6

    Jul 18, 2014, 09:04 AM
    I am 15 but I really don't want to hear anyone saying stuff like "get over it" because I've had tons of people tell me that already.
    You both need time and you will get over it, and move on.

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