[Mwppwr]

Dear Chuff, Or anybody who has a human behaviour background or experience. I have a tricky problem.

I was on a vacation 9 weeks ago and met an incredible girl. We spent 10 best days in our lives. She lives 4000 km away and had two months of final exams (one exam every two week). So we haven't been together 7 times more than we have been. We are skyping everyday for hours ever since I returned home.

A year ago she broke up with ex-boyfriend she has been with for 5 years. She hasn't been speaking with him for a long time, but she started again two weeks ago. She says she is always arguing with him anyway, but I can't see their conversation from here. I am about to come to her next week, but I am scared she wants to return to her ex and only uses me in order to catch his attention, though she says she don't want him to know about me (but he already does from her social network profile as I liked her statuses and etc, he asked her about me but she didn't confirmed nor denied). It wasn't intended by her to expose me this way, her social activity was more or less similar than before, post a week on average. I asked her if she can say she will never want to return to her ex and all her answers were evasive. In short, she told me that she will search for another boy if I will come and it won't be good. She was very angry, especially after I told her I'm considering to cancel the tickets.

My problem is that she told me she will go out with him when he will ask her to, but I have to trust her as she won't do anything with him. She hasn't met with him personally since I was with her. I love her. She is all I want and she still want me to come. Once she told me her ex was the love of her life. But it was when knew each other for less than a month. The last time she said she loves me was more than a week ago.

Please help I need to know if she considers me seriously. Her dad knows about me but her mum doesn't as her parents are divorced and she lives with her dad. Additionally her ex works in her mum's company. I have bought return flight ticket in 10 days after I will arrive. I'm scared I will find out she don't want me and I will become homeless or something. I don't know what to do.

[Oliver2011]

"So we haven't been together 7 times more than we have been." I have no clue what that means.

You are experiencing the difficulties of a long distance relationship. These difficulties don't become easier. Do yourself a favor. Fondly remember the times you shared with this girl and move on. A girl and relationship close to you is much more manageable and less costly as well.

[smoothy]

Are you from Romainia and is she in England by any chance?

[tickle]

Dear Chuff, Or anybody who has a human behaviour background or experience.
I have a tricky problem.
I'm scared I will find out she don't want me and I will become homeless or something. I don't know what to do.

Who is Chuff ?

Why would you spend money on a plane ticket, to fly to someone you hardly know based on the advice of strangers?

You had a lovely interlude, now move on; keep it friendly and still communicate but other the that, move on to someone. Loser to home.

[Homegirl 50]

You have not known her long enough to spend money on a flight and a 10 day visit. Plus she is talking to her ex again. I say stay home and move on.

[Wondergirl]

Chuff was a long-time member and relationship expert.

I don't trust her after reading what you wrote about her back-and-forth "relationship" with her ex (or is he her ex?). If I were you, I'd save my money and stay home AND date local women, as has been advised by the others here.

[talaniman]

Only a chump spends that kind of money on a female who won't commit to you and has an ex in the picture she still will go out with. That's what my friend Chuff would tell you straight up. Its simple all you have is talk from this female and that's all you will get.

When words and action don't match, you should have told her to let you know when she is through playing games with her ex, and trying to catch you in the middle at YOUR expense. Cash in those tickets and find a nice girl to date in your own town. Who cares if she gets mad, and never speaks to you again??

That's what I would do, and hope you do as well. She obviously doesn't love you as you think you love her, or you don't love yourself enough to keep your dignity, or self respect, and put an end to this long distance NONSENSE.