[matadore23]

Hello, I have been in a relationship now for 6 months. We both have very similar interests, I am 25 she is 22. Before this I was without a girlfriend for 5 years, and she has been in a relationship since she was 18. I have spent almost every day with this girl for 6 months, I do love her and she says she loves me. But I just don't feel it. We cuddle and hug and give peck kisses, but the intimacy is where it is lacking. I don't know if I should give out some of this info but I think I should give all the facts. Since the 2nd week of being together, we have been having sex. It was a lot at first, but since the past 2 months it has slowed down a lot. It's down to once a week if that now, she keeps saying it's because she is stressed from work and everyday things and that it will get better. She only works 8 hours a day at an office where she sits on a computer. All of the stressors she told me have been gone and the intimacy has just been going downhill. She does not give me oral sex even though I am more than happy to do it for her. She doesn't even give me hand jobs because it "tires" her out too quickly. She doesn't like to kiss except for peck on the lips or cheek. She has never initiated intimacy, it has always been me. It just feels to me that I am not a priority on her list, and when I talk to her about it, she assures me that I am her number one priority. She has told me about her past 2 relationships of 3 years total where it was the guy not being sexual with her, so I would think she knows exactly where I am coming from. I just feel like this iust more of a friendship than a relationship. Please help me, I have tried everything I can think of. I love her to death, but intimacy is a huge part of a relationship in my eyes anyway. Thanks much for your time.

[Ther4peuticH3at]

Okay, first, I'll tell you that if you bring it up and blatantly/openly make it an issue with her, you'll be fighting a VERY uphill battle. People here are going to tell you that you're being shallow, or that you're somehow out of line for "expecting" her to give herself to you. The thing is, you're not. You're a normal guy with a healthy appetite (albeit a bit insecure). Sex is important, especially once you've already made a habit of it within a relationship. At this point, sex has become a major dynamic of the relationship.

But from here, you must be very careful how you proceed. Try not to be so insecure and overly aware of yourself. Loosen up and find your confidence. You're going to have to "woo" her. You're going to have to make her want you. Seduce her. Make it a constant thing. Give her affection, without the intent to actually break the plane. Ie: do things that make her feel good. Kiss her gently/roughly (whatever she likes) and touch her (the way she likes) throughout the day. Tease her. Excite her...

Make her body ache for you. Her sex drive will come back around eventually, but you can't rush it and you can't try to force it.

[talaniman]

Talaniman Rule- Love the mind, the body will follow.

When the lust wears off then you better have something else to build on my friend, or its just sex and nothing else, and there is a very big difference between sex, and intimacy.

Maybe you are not as compatible beyond the brief honeymoon period you just had, and used it all up already. I have to tell you maybe seeing each other every day has burned you both out, and now your frustrated, because you wanted more, and there is none.

Could be you need a better balance in your life besides just wanting sex, or intimacy.

[positiveparent]

Perhaps you need to polish up your technique perhaps she needs 3/4/5 play, yes there's more than the so say foreplay.

It all begins in the mind, be playful suggestive, tease tantalise titilate her, have her thinking oh that sounds good.

If this goes on to foreplay later in the day that is, take her to the point of almost having and Orgasms and ease off, get her so she's almost begging for you to go the distance, tell her what you plan to do to her at some later time firmly plant sexual innuendos in her head, but tell her later.

If this then leads to the mighty O put 5 play into action, by holding her cuddling, telling her how good it felt to make love to her, don't jump straight out of bed or where ever it was and dash downstairs and get stuck into the PS3.

When she's at work send her a suggestive text or 2, but keep it short. Ask her if she's game reply sometime before 10pm, things like this can re awaken ones sexual urges, the power of suggestion can be amazing so be suggestive, talk dirty, kiss her from head to toe, but deliberately miss out the vital area, do it slowly, then turn her over and do the same down her back and her legs, turn her over and start from her toes again, this time linger in the right regions.

Give her an erotic massage, use your imagination, put her needs first, if she doesn't feel like giving you oral, don't make a drama of it, just say that's fine.

Take a week and just spend a little out of each day pampering her, turning her on a little more with each day.

If this doesn't have her chomping at the bit then I don't know what will.

Perhaps she's feeling pressured to perform, or that you only care about you're own pleasure and leave her crawling the walls. So always attend to her needs first then go for it, don't sulk if she's not in the mood, just kiss her and say that's fine.

Show her she's not just a sex object.

Any woman who is feeling that she's expected to come across will instantly feel under pressure and that is the fastest turn off around.

Another thing that women like, is when a Man reaches his own high notes, do it loud and proud, and lusty, animalistic, grunts and oh gods, yes, or anything expressing your pleasure will usually be appreciated, don't be like the ferry service, as in " roll on roll off" that's not wanted, nor is a grunt groan and a fart.

[Cat1864]

This thread is from April.

[talaniman]

Maybe we get updated, maybe we won't!

[positiveparent]

I hope someone makes use of my above suggestions took me an age to type it all out LOL.
Im not wasting it Ive copied and pasted it , someone's going to get that for a reply LOL.