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wongowoo · Sep 15, 2007, 08:44 AM

Hi, I met a guy a year ago he's 13 years older than me,
And said all the things I wanted to here ( I've done all the going out and going with girls!! )i love you and that he wants to settle down!and like a plonker I fell for it I love him too bits and I'm now 38 weeks pregnant just moved away from all my family and friends so he can be closer to his family, just moved in to a nice house together. He started a new job at a hotel that's when it all went wrong!! He told me he was going out with the chef as he was leaving the hotel, and told me he would be back at 11.30 and that he would phone me but he never phoned or come back at 11.30! He was in his car till 3.00 with a 19 yr old girl who is wash up at his work!! He says he was giving her a lift home when she went in for a kiss but that's all she got?? I only found out cause the passenger seat was pushed right back so I confronted him, he had no intension of telling me. No I'm in a very hard position I have no friends/family no means of transport a baby about to be born, his parents say I have to get over it he still gos to work where she works! and his parents are saying if I go home they are going to take all the baby things of me and that they are going to take me to court to have full cusody of the new baby, I feel traped and bullied I'm alone over here about 200 miles away from home,I also found out that he was still with his ex partner when he started seeing me I found emails off her dateing when we first got together but I haven't said anyhting about that to him? Need some advice please help. X

bushg · Sep 15, 2007, 09:17 AM

Maybe he thinks he has you right where he wants you, so he is going to show his true colors. As for the in-laws ignore them they will do what is best for their little boy! They can not just take your baby away. If not married he would have to prove he is the father and sue you for custody. Momma and poppa can't do it for him. Your problem right now is to figure out how to get out of this bad situation. I would suggest you call your family and see if they can help you to get back home.

nkychic · Sep 15, 2007, 11:37 AM

I agree with bush. Your problem now is to find a way out of this obviously wrong relationship. You don't need the stress, especially while you're pregnant. Call home and get help from your family. Don't bother bringing up the fact that you know about him being with his ex when you got together. There is no point in pouring salt on an open wound. You have rights as not only a mother, but a person. Pack your stuff and go back home. If he wants to sue for custody, let him. You can't put yourself and that baby through the arguments and the ineveitable heartache to come.

Good luck!

<3 Leslie

BeckyLoo · Sep 15, 2007, 01:17 PM

I think I answered one of your last questions, I think you should dump the man and leave and go back with your family. His parents can't do anything the child is yours not there's, maybe he could take action because he's the father but he isn't a very good role model is he. So I think the judge would be in your favour. I think you should get out while you can!

s_cianci · Sep 15, 2007, 01:25 PM

As the others have said, he himself would have to sue for custody. Meanwhile you should be suing for custody yourself ; also child support. It sounds like this relationship between the two of you has no future ; however, you will always be connected because of this child that you have together. You probably should return home where you'll have the support of your friends and family. You can then initiate all relevant legal action from your local county of residence.

talaniman · Sep 16, 2007, 06:10 AM

His family has nothing but empty threats so don't let them throw you. The real question is getting rid of this lying cheater and getting child support. Leave him and go home, to the comfort and security, of your own family.

sbear · Sep 16, 2007, 01:53 PM

Don't let anyone intimidate you, and you need to remove yourself from the situation so that you could get some perspectives. I was in a very bad relationship and his constant threats and intimidation wore me down, I was depressed, felt hopeless and alone. My family (3000 miles away) came and helped me move out, once I did, I felt stronger and had the courage to move on. It was tough but do it for yourself, and your baby.

Ash123 · Sep 16, 2007, 02:03 PM

You have more power than you think.

You have a child and in the eyes of the law, you are protected as a parent.

I would begin looking for a place where you are in control - and find a job near your old home and near family....BE TOUGH NOW, so you don't get walked on LATER!

If he is still to be in yours and the baby's life, you can test him on YOUR TURF.
Establish a life NOW before the baby is born. You are not married.
You have a chance here to get this turned around and have a GREAT LIFE!
With a great man... who will admire your strength!

Sitting still is going to make you go crazy...

(ps - you might want to hold onto those old email records and any evidence from the "kissing" incident... you may need them in court or with family later.)

Guys like him never believe a woman will be tougher than them....and when they are...they roll over!!.... :-)