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twinkle1964 · Mar 1, 2009, 05:28 PM

Have had a long distance relationship for the past 3 years. He lived in Manchester I live in london. I met him on internet dating, he was an asylum seeker and had nothing to his name. I loved him for what he was as a person. I have one daughter who is grown up and I am divorced. He was 10 years younger then me. A non practising muslim from Iraq. I am non muslim
He was living with friends in a house and I had been there once. He used to tell me he did not feel comfortable when went there with his friends around. We decided that he would come to London and that when he gets his own place I could go then.
I always felt uncomfortable, that I could not go. I used to wonder what is he hiding.

He used to text me and speak every couple of days. He was a chef and work late. He got stay in this country a year ago and did not use me for anything. I was always scared that when he gets everything he would leave me. That is exactly what happened, he got a council place and I went there before xmas. When I was there he felt uncomfortable holding my hand as we walked throughout Manchester shopping centre. When he was in London with me he was OK.

I felt ill I had to have a big operation he never come to see me at the hospital could not take a day off. He phoned my house to see how it went.

Just before Xmas he said he wanted space and that he could not text me every night and that if he does not that I should not worry. I used to worry that if something happened to him I would not know. I had already been abandon once in a relationship.

He hate to talk to me on his day off but when I met him first he told me he had never had a girlfriend and that I was his first and that he was a virgin. He performed really well so I used to question him. That I could mould him.

If I phoned him he hated when I would ring couple of times as I would get worried when there was no answer. I had a big argument with him and he told me that his feelings have changed and that he does not love me the way he did. I felt hurt, and I did beg his not to break the relationship as I did not want carry the pain of being hurt. After he told me his feelings have changed we still spoke on the phone and I said I need a proper closure so we decide to meet. I got ill so I cancelled it and then he told me to let him know when I want to next meet him. I was suspose to meet him Monday 11 Feb. He wanted to come to London for few hours then he would go home. I would have met him at a railway station. He made out that he did not want me to travel from Manchester as I would be upset after the meeting and he did not want to feel responsible. I did not go and since that day he phoned me up to the morning I was suspose to meet him . He has not bother to ask again whether I am dead or alive apart from texting me on Sunday 15 Feb. I have not replied to any of his phone calls or texts I want to see if he really cares. I am confused can you help me please. Since that last text he has not bothered to ring me or text me. I miss him and want to phone him.

Please help

talaniman · Mar 1, 2009, 08:54 PM

You are way to emotionally invested in someone who can't be there enough. I see to many red flags in his behavior, to trust him, as I'm sure you do. You have wasted enough time with this one. Sorry!

arnimal7 · Mar 1, 2009, 09:23 PM

I have to agree with Talaniman on this one. I think that you might just have to let it go. Sometimes things are just unexplained and don't make sense, and sometimes people change and fall out of love. I understand that you are confused, frustrated, and left without any closure. He might just need some times to put things back together. Collect his thoughts. Well I don't want to tell you not to call him anymore, that's up to you. You have made the last few calls and I woud leave it at that.

twinkle1964 · Apr 13, 2009, 05:28 PM

Thank u for answering my question. Not many people have answered my question. It would help me a great deal if I got more replies.

Thanks

JoeCanada76 · Apr 13, 2009, 05:32 PM

This is not a true relationship or any relationship at all. How can he leave you if your not together? How can you miss him if you are not with him? I know people get attached emotionally to people over the internet, it is a fact, but three years. I think it is time to move on. Time to invest in yourself and doing your own things and growing as a person. Maybe one day you will meet that someone that can be with you at emotionally and physically.

Joe