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    ctlmvisfmh's Avatar
    ctlmvisfmh Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Aug 12, 2007, 04:55 PM
    Losing virginity making breakup more painful?
    Hello everyone,

    I have been broken up with my ex girlfriend for nearly 2 months now, after she ended our relationship.

    Prior to being with her, I had dated seriously twice, and fooled around with both girls and occasionally other girls while I was single, but I had never had vaginal intercourse with anyone save my recent ex. I am usually a serial bachelor, as I am independent and have always focused seriously on my education. For what it's worth, I am 23 years old.

    I had remained a virgin largely for religious reasons (I am Catholic), and also because I never thought that I cared enough about someone to have sex with them.

    While I only dated my ex for approximately six months, we were sexually active.

    It seems that a lot of my memories of our relationship are associated with sex--not just having sex, but the novel experience and closeness that I felt because of it.

    I have never been hung up on an ex this long before, and am starting to think a large part of my general sadness over the breakup has to do with the fact that I lost my virginity to my ex.

    Is there anything I can to help me get over my ex, given this?
    Jiser's Avatar
    Jiser Posts: 1,266, Reputation: 281
    Ultra Member
     
    #2

    Aug 12, 2007, 05:28 PM
    Hey I lost my virginity to my ex, same as you but I am two years younger. I been hung up over a few people like this before. But when you loose your virginity to someone, It is hard for some, easier for others. When they 'take' we did willingly our virginity it is something we won't forget and well this stuff might help:

    Hey, life chucks real bad stuff at us at times. But life isin't easy, change is what its all about. The sooner you realize this the better. You're the only one who can change your present and future. Its real hard to get up sometimes and face the day but do you really want to waste anymore time?

    For a start you could join the gym, or go for a run. Plan some trips away, do something fun, go see your fav band. If your having problems sleeping etc try Valerian, st.john's wort, 5-htp - Also these may help with mild depression. After a while of keeping busy your realize you have more memories of after your ex than with. Your wake up one day and you won't think of it all. Ill post a list of things you could try in abit. Ah ha here we go (it applies to both sex) :

    I got a mix of some of my posts people liked, hope it helps? I can say to you I have had contact with my ex and it has knocked me back a hell of a lot, so stay no contact for your own benefit. You only have one life so live it for yourself:I think its time to accept the harsh truth that its over and start the transition to single life. Its hard but

    Whatever doesn't kill us makes us stronger right? More wary in the future and aware what we are looking for in a


    Relationship and a person.

    Treat your relationship as a life experience, you might not be able to treasure the memories you had right now but

    One day you will. Do not regret but learn and move on, as someone much better is just around the next corner.

    You must try follow these: (be strong)

    1) Abide by no contact, ignorance is bliss so don't go near the 'grape vine'
    2) Work on yourself entirely - hobbies, work, gym
    3) Ever wanted to do something in your life? Nows the time
    4) Spend more time with your friends and family and renew old social ties
    5) Box every memory away and stay away from your fav songs for now - when you can look at it without feeling ill -

    Ur halfway there!
    6) Time does heal :P It just takes a god dam while, but don't mope at home, go out, party, exercise - helps a hell

    Of a lot

    You don't need anyone to be happy.

    The best revenge is to be happy yourself :]

    Forgive and move on.

    Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.

    Pay no attention to the faults of others,
    Things done or left undone by others.
    Consider only what by oneself is done or left undone.

    Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn't learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn't

    Learn a little, at least we didn't get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn't die; so, let us all be

    Thankful.

    You got to accept it. Delete everything and keep yourself busy. Here are things you can do right now:

    1) Delete all his contact details + block him
    2) Have a hot bath with nice scents
    3) Listen to some of your fav music
    4) Read a book - maybe about love/self improvement or anything
    5) Watch a film
    6) Go out and party
    7) Spend more time with your friends and family
    8) Have a good laugh + watch a comedy
    9) Go out for a drive with your best friends - put all the windows down and put on some loud music and SING - I
    Love doing this
    10) Don't SIT AROUND AND MOPE
    11) Get out of the house - Go for a walk, anything
    12) Join the gym + workout + have a sauna
    13) Book a holiday
    14) Try new things - meet new people, sign up for a course
    15) GO NO CONTACT NOW - STAY AWAY FROM THE GRAPE VINE, in time it will get easier but for now you need to keep busy and block him
    16) Go watch a new tv-series, maybe you can watch an episode a day
    ctlmvisfmh's Avatar
    ctlmvisfmh Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #3

    Aug 13, 2007, 12:18 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Jiser
    Hey I lost my virginity to my ex, same as you but I am two years younger. I been hung up over a few people like this before. But when you loose your virginity to someone, It is hard for some, easier for others. When they 'take' we did willingly our virginity it is something we won't forget and well this stuff might help:

    Hey, life chucks real bad stuff at us at times. But life isin't easy, change is what its all about. The sooner you realize this the better. Your the only one who can change your present and future. Its real hard to get up sometimes and face the day but do you really want to waste anymore time?

    For a start you could join the gym, or go for a run. Plan some trips away, do something fun, go see your fav band. If your having problems sleeping etc try Valerian, st.john's wort, 5-htp - Also these may help with mild depression. After a while of keeping busy your realize you have more memories of after your ex than with. Your wake up one day and you won't think of it all. Ill post a list of things you could try in abit. ah ha here we go (it applies to both sex) :

    I got a mix of some of my posts people liked, hope it helps? I can say to you I have had contact with my ex and it has knocked me back a hell of alot, so stay no contact for your own benefit. You only have one life so live it for yourself:I think its time to accept the harsh truth that its over and start the transition to single life. Its hard but

    whatever doesn't kill us makes us stronger right? More wary in the future and aware what we are looking for in a


    relationship and a person.

    Treat your relationship as a life experience, you might not be able to treasure the memories you had right now but

    one day you will. Do not regret but learn and move on, as someone much better is just around the next corner.

    You must try follow these: (be strong)

    1) Abide by no contact, ignorance is bliss so don't go near the 'grape vine'
    2) Work on yourself entirely - hobbies, work, gym
    3) Ever wanted to do something in your life? Nows the time
    4) Spend more time with your friends and family and renew old social ties
    5) Box every memory away and stay away from your fav songs for now - when you can look at it without feeling ill -

    Ur halfway there!!
    6) Time does heal :P It just takes a god dam while, but don't mope at home, go out, party, exercise - helps a hell

    of alot

    You don't need anyone to be happy.

    The best revenge is to be happy yourself :]

    Forgive and move on.

    Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.

    Pay no attention to the faults of others,
    things done or left undone by others.
    Consider only what by oneself is done or left undone.

    Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn't learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn't

    learn a little, at least we didn't get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn't die; so, let us all be

    thankful.

    You gotta accept it. Delete everything and keep your self busy. Here are things you can do right now:

    1) Delete all his contact details + block him
    2) Have a hot bath with nice scents
    3) Listen to some of your fav music
    4) Read a book - maybe about love/self improvement or anything
    5) Watch a film
    6) Go out and party
    7) Spend more time with your friends and family
    8) Have a good laugh + watch a comedy
    9) Go out for a drive with your best friends - put all the windows down and put on some loud music and SING - I
    love doing this
    10) DONT SIT AROUND AND MOPE
    11) Get out of the house - Go for a walk, anything
    12) Join the gym + workout + have a sauna
    13) Book a holiday
    14) Try new things - meet new people, sign up for a course
    15) GO NO CONTACT NOW - STAY AWAY FROM THE GRAPE VINE, in time it will get easier but for now you need to keep busy and block him
    16) Go watch a new tv-series, maybe u can watch an episode a day
    Thank you for your very thoughtful response.
    SAB123's Avatar
    SAB123 Posts: 685, Reputation: 94
    Senior Member
     
    #4

    Aug 13, 2007, 01:05 PM
    I think when you fall in love with someone and start making love it will be hard on any one regardless if they were our first. Although I have been with woman before my ex I think it's a lot tougher to get over someone because we were intiment with that person. And even after break up I have been with someone but it's just not the same as someone you loved.
    Chery's Avatar
    Chery Posts: 3,666, Reputation: 698
    Gone, But Not Forgotten
     
    #5

    Aug 13, 2007, 01:19 PM
    I doubt if any of us ever forget out first time, good or bad.

    Was it good for you.. then you will have fond memories.

    This helps us all grow and it does help in the long run.

    Twenty years from now you will still remember, but the hurt will be gone, I promise.




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