[nicckidoodle]

I've been with my fiancé for 3 1/2 years I love him dearly and we are going to get married very soon but neither of our families are able to help us with the wedding, I grew up living with my grandparents and they recently retired, fixed incomes don't really allow money for weddings, his mom is still raising her other children and I wouldn't ask her for money and his dad is not going to be asked because I'm white and he doesn't like me, they are hispanic, so we have decided to go to the justice of the peace, later when we feel like it we will have a big ceremony, we still want to have a reception, but our families don't agree to our choice of going to the justice of the piece they say its cheap, but if they are not helping us shouldn't they back off? Any ideas on how I can appease both families but still go through with our plan of the jotp, wedding and then a reception?

[RubyPitbull]

Yes. Go to the justice of the peace. Have your party the way you want to. They are not paying for anything, they do not have a right to dictate anything to you. Enjoy yourselves. Have a happy life together and limit your interactions with your families if they are being so disagreeable as to not be rejoicing with you over your happiness.

Slightly different scenario for me than for you but the bottom line is, I was married by a justice of the peace. Didn't have a party. I put my husband above everyone else. My family fell in line because I told them them that their complaining was falling on deaf ears, accept the situation, as it is, or lose a relationship with me. I was going to live my life the way I wanted to. I was very, very happy until I lost my dear husband to cancer. By the time that happened, my father, who was originally against the marriage, and was quite nasty and vocal about it, had grown to see what a wonderful man I had married and actually cried when my husband died.

Our families only have control over what they do for themselves, not us. Invite them to your party. If they choose not to go, so be it. Enjoy yourself with your friends who love you and your husband as you both are and are not judgemental, as your families seem to be. Let your family think it is cheap. It is a cheap way to get married. So what? Save your money and buy a house. They are being completely silly and irrational about this. Don't listen to them. Stay strong in your decision and convictions.

Oh and by the way, congratulations on your impending marriage. I wish you as much happiness and joy as my marriage brought to me! :)

[Fr_Chuck]

First it is your wedding not there, so they are not happy, who cares,

Next of course you can often get a minister to do a wedding on location, your home, at a park, at a special place.
But it is budget, not cheap