[Daniinlove4you]

Ok so like, me and this guy have been talking for a long time, but he wants a real relationship, and I have a bad history with guys but I've never felt the way I do about him towards anyone else before... but he wants me to prove that I really do care and that I want hurt him like all the other, what could I do...

[DaniCalifornia]

You don't need to prove you won't hurt him. This is an issue he has to resolve with himself, as it's his paranoia. Assuming you haven't cheated on him, that is. So give him a bit of room. Let him know you won't, and that needs to be enough. Many relationships are destroyed because of one partner being too paranoid and controlling.

X Dani

[Fr_Chuck]

Sorry, my advice, dump him, ( unless you are just teens and don't know anything about real relationships at adult levels

You don't PROVE anything, there is no way to prove the way you feel, That is often a cheap trick to try to talk the girl into sex to prove their love.

But if there is no acceptance, not trust, then there is no relationshiop truly anyway

[Cat1864]

Do you mind sharing how old you both are? What do you mean by you have a bad history with guys? Did you really hurt them or are you taking the blame?

How do you know this male? Are you talking in person as friends or by computer, texting, etc.

What does he mean by 'real relationship'? Do you share the same expectations for what a relationship should be?

The answer to the last question appears to be 'no' if it starts with you trying to become his equal instead of starting there. By asking you to 'prove' you won't hurt him and that you care for him, he is admitting that he doesn't respect and trust you as a partner. What will he ask you to 'prove' to him next so that he feels secure in the relationship?

Something to think about, the more you try to 'prove' something to someone the more proof they want and need. If you are continually trying to 'prove' you care and 'prove' that you won't hurt him, it will begin to damage the respect you have for yourself. You will begin to question if you can ever give him enough to be equal with him.

Don't get into a relationship with him or anyone else until you understand that you are an equal partner with nothing to prove. Make certain that you aren't blaming yourself for things that happened in the past and that you have fully let go of the past. Build up confidence in yourself so that you feel secure whether you are in a relationship or not. Let him deal with his own insecurities. If he wants a guarantee that the relationship will work out before it even begins, then he has his own issues to overcome. There are no guarantees in life no matter how much we wish there were.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do.