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    erikachocho's Avatar
    erikachocho Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Aug 5, 2011, 10:02 PM
    How can I prove to my boyfriend that I love him, and he can trust me?
    We've been together 6 months now, and before I dated him he was my best friend, and I dated his friend for a month or less, and it was nothing serious, just casual dating.

    Every time me and my boyfriend argue he brings up my past relationship and say all kind of mean things like he doesn't love me anymore, he can't trust me anymore. I'm away in my home country right now heading back to where my boyfriend is in 2 weeks. I got him a gift, and he thinks, I'm trying to do stuff with him that I wanted to do with my past guy that I dated, which is not true. He also mentioned about what I did with my past guy, and I didn't tell him, and told him I didn't remember, so I suggested that he goes and ask the guy himself.

    He comes back to me saying I lied to him, and now he thinks I'm lying about everything, when I've been nothing but completely honest about everything, and told him every little details of what he wanted to know.

    How can I prove that I love him?
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #2

    Aug 6, 2011, 01:27 PM

    Its really hard to prove anything to some one that doesn't want to believe you. He can't because he is to jealous minded, and suspicious. I think you do better not catering to his hard head, and tell him to get over his childish immaturity, or get gone, because no way should you put up with this kind of behavior.

    Its humiliating, and very disrespectful. How old is he 6?
    Jake2008's Avatar
    Jake2008 Posts: 6,721, Reputation: 3460
    Emotional Health Expert
     
    #3

    Aug 7, 2011, 05:37 AM
    "How can I prove to my boyfriend that I love him, and he can trust me?"

    You can't. He either believes you, or he doesn't. You can do nothing to 'prove' that you did nothing wrong, and you can do nothing to convince him that you are trustworthy.

    I don't see this so much as his issue, but yours. Why would you need to prove to anybody that you are worthy of being loved, and worthy of being trusted?

    You accept his insecurity over accusations of you being dishonest. So, knowing that he is wrong, and you do not deserve to be 'loved' this way, what are you going to do about it?

    Stay with him? Hope he just 'gets over it' or when you get home, make your priority to further prove your innocence?

    For every accusation and trust issue he comes up with, and there will be more, you will be in the same position. How many times are you willing to accept that the future with him will be all about him, and you continuously being in a position to defend yourself for things you did not do.

    If that is the type of 'love' you are looking for, then accept what your future will likely be. If this is not the type of 'love' you are looking for, then get out.
    HurtScorpio's Avatar
    HurtScorpio Posts: 92, Reputation: 23
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    #4

    Aug 13, 2011, 02:38 PM
    This guy knew when he decided to date you that you were with his friend and he accepted that. Now he is not accepting the fact that you had avery short lived "relationship" with his friend.

    I would explain exactly that to him. You can explain to him that it is disturbing that he would actually want to know every detail of what occurred with you and his friend and telling him to go back and ask the friend was probably not a good idea because males sometimes lie to make themselves look better than they are in the sexual realm so it may have appeared you lied when you didn't which you can also tell him.

    If the relationship with his friend was meaningless I would say that and maybe try to boost his ego since he obviously has low self esteem and tell him that he is all you want, you never even think of the other guy and what would maybe make him STOP his actions is by telling him that the only time you think of the other guy is when HE BRINGS HIM UP! So, therefore, maybe he will stop bringing him up.

    The concern I have is when he stops his jealousy with this guy is he going to start being possessive of you, controlling , and start being jealous of you toward other men. Are you not going to be allowed to speak to a male co worker or look at a male just in passing? I know this because I am a jealous person and I am working on my own jealous issues. Jealousy is a diffult issue to get away from and it all stems from insecurity and lack of self esteem.

    This is not about anything you did. This is about his own poor image and it will be ongoing if he does not get some therapt to find out why he feels so bad about himself that he has to make you feel bad.

    If all the above does not work, I would get out sooner than later because you are headed down a nasty road. But, I do wish you luck. With lots of love and affection and therapy he could be a good guy but he has to know it is his problem and not the things you did.
    88sunflower's Avatar
    88sunflower Posts: 1,207, Reputation: 462
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    #5

    Aug 13, 2011, 02:59 PM
    I agree with all of the above. He knew from the get go that you were with his friend. If there were any issues then he should have stated those issues at the start of your relationship or not start one with you at all.

    One more point I would like to bring up. You said you were back in your home country. What does this mean? You live in separate countries? If this is the case and you can't spend a lot of time together how long will it be before he questions your actions in your country?

    My thoughts are run for the hills and don't look back. Jealousy isn't fair for anyone involved and this is only the beginning.
    annonymouss's Avatar
    annonymouss Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #6

    Feb 5, 2013, 04:17 AM
    I want to thank Dr.Zabaza of +2348182620374 for coming into my recuse when i needed him most, my lover broke up with me and since then i haven't been myself till i found Dr.Zabaza who brought back my lover within 48hours . If you lost your lover and you want him or she back waste no time and contact Dr.Zabaza on [email protected]
    annonymouss's Avatar
    annonymouss Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    Feb 5, 2013, 04:20 AM
    I want to thank Dr.Zabaza of +2348182620374 for coming into my recuse when I needed him most, my lover broke up with me and since then I haven't been myself till I found Dr.Zabaza who brought back my lover within 48hours . If you lost your lover and you want him or she back waste no time and contact Dr.Zabaza on [email protected]

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