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    moni1210's Avatar
    moni1210 Posts: 7, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Sep 4, 2009, 04:31 PM
    I think I am broke
    I could go in detail but not sure if that's OK. All of the men in my life as a child were not good, and I think that is what is messing me up today, some of the reason. Anyway, I truly do want to be more trusting, open, and honest but I can't. I don't do it purposely, it jut happens. What can I do? I am 39 even if I am not in another real relationship I would just like to work on this for me
    redhed35's Avatar
    redhed35 Posts: 4,221, Reputation: 1910
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    #2

    Sep 4, 2009, 04:40 PM

    Being on your own for a while is a good start.

    You said your broke,id like to disagree there,because you just realised what the problem was,your on the mend.

    You can heal,and you can have the type of relationship you want.

    Seeing a councillor about past issues will help the healing process,that fact that you know there's a problem means your on the road to recovery.

    And its as long as you want it to be,your not broke,you have just been unlucky.

    Seek help with the past,it can really help you focus on yourself,and make the future you want.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #3

    Sep 6, 2009, 09:39 AM

    Are you not happy with your life without a man in it? Do you need a man to make you happy??
    redhed35's Avatar
    redhed35 Posts: 4,221, Reputation: 1910
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    #4

    Sep 6, 2009, 09:42 AM

    I read in a thread you posted in that your relationship had just ended..

    There are some great stickies on NC and how to recover from breakups.
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
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    #5

    Sep 6, 2009, 09:46 AM

    Yes read the stickies and find a good therapist and you ll be able to work on your issues.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #6

    Sep 6, 2009, 10:48 AM

    Thanks Red, I went back to find this,


    By Moni,
    I just broke up with my boyfriend of 5 and a half years we were on and off also I was thinking of changing my number today just so I don't have to wonder if he is trying to call but I don't think I will. If he wanted to talk to me he would call my house, my work.. I can't change everything.. so I guess I just have have to be sad right now
    Break ups are hard to get over Moni, and it does take time.

    The suggestion by others to read the stickies at the beginning of this forum was a good one I think will help you see, you are not alone.

    This is the right place to go into any details, or ask any questions you care to share. Its also a great place to vent, and get support from some very good caring people.
    I wish's Avatar
    I wish Posts: 5,296, Reputation: 2030
    Family & People Expert
    		  
    #7

    Sep 8, 2009, 11:41 AM

    Just keep focusing on other things. It definitely is tough in the beginning. The pain might even get worse, but eventually it will get better. Just give yourself more time.

    Quote Originally Posted by moni1210 View Post
    all of the men in my life as a child were not good, and i think that is what is messing me up today
    It sounds like you have other issues as well. You need to focus on gaining more confidence in yourself. If someone isn't treating you with respect, then you should keep some distance from them. Maybe you should spend this time reading some self-help books or seeing a counsellor about your past experiences so that you don't have the same problems again.
    Sweet_Guy23's Avatar
    Sweet_Guy23 Posts: 304, Reputation: 27
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    #8

    Sep 8, 2009, 12:45 PM

    Time is the greatest emotional healer of all time... but stick to no contact...

    You'll be fine in due time. Don't go beating yourself up.
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