[Dan_H]

So I just got dumped by my girlfriend who I have been dating for 7 mnoths and 22 days and I feel like its completely my fault and I don't know what do to this pain is really unbearable as my chest feels completely hollow and the whole break up is my fault. She says she is sick of my insurcity and that I made the relationship my whole life and I haven't had any room to grow and mature... it hurts a lot right now I don't know why should want to break up, I was completelly faithful, spoiled her and treated her like a princess... she said that if were to ever break up in the future it wouldn't be her who was the one doing it...
I really don't know what to do... It hurts a lot

[snuffy]

Read my posts about breaking up.

You need to think with your head now, not your heart.

The signs were there. If she no longer feels attraction for you there is normally a cause which led to it.

As your post suggests I can already tell you what caused this loss in attraction:

1.) insecurity
2.) making your relationship with her your 'everything.'
3.) spoiling her
4.) treating her like a princess (TOO MUCH OF THE TIME I WILL GUESS).

You need to gain some perspective on your life and firstly realise that no girl should ever be your everything, and you should never let that come across.

You also need to realise that women do not people to be 'nice' to them or spoil them; at least most of the time.

You need to convey, and to truly believe yourself, that this girl or any girl for that matter is NOT your everything. A women is a good 'part' of your life and that's all.

Give her the gift of missing you. You need to work on amplifying attraction in women; and you need to work on having a more balanced healthier view on how important to your life a woman is.


As for what to do now. The answer is NOTHING IN RESPECT OF HER. You must not contact her. You must create a barrier. This is for you to think about the things I have just written and for you to get over this girl. You need to be able to take it or leave it.

You will not be able to change her mind with any persuasion. Seriously, read my other posts from tonight and previous nights.


NO CONTACT.

SELF IMPROVEMENT

GET BUSY.

We have all been where you are. Without this learning curve I speak of, you will go through this feeling time and time again, and you do not want that if you have any sense.


Good luck.

[Dan_H]

Thanks... it just really hurts right now... she's my first and in the past a lot of girls have been chasing me, I never was the flirty type either but she was the only one I saw an interest in, I gave her my world and she took it awy it really hurts...
Thanks for the advice though

[snuffy]

thanks... it just really hurts right now... shes my first and in the past alot of girls have been chasing me, i never was the flirty type either but she was the only one i saw an interest in, i gave her my world and she took it awy it really hurts...
thanks for the advice though

Make sure you follow it man. REad my post entitled 'anyone who has broken up.'

[snuffy]

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ng-143683.html

Read this too, man. You may agree in my interpretation of things. If anything it is certainly thought-provoking.


Regards.

[needofhelp]

Dan_H, we are all on this site for a reason. Have some comfort knowing that we have or are going through the same emotions that you are experiencing. Snuffy has good advice that will be echoed by many others. Focus on yourself, keep busy, and have NC. Everybody has some insecurities, but we can't let those dictate our life. Most of the time, the insecurities have no backing, and are caused by something in the past. We all have potential and we got to live up to it. Stick in there.

[statictable]

Why don't they teach LOSS in grade school so we would have at least a taste for the total derailment of our entire personage associated with loss. Wish they'd teach that in school so we could learn how to modify or avoid loss. We know that glass breaks and can slice us up and we know that a hot stove can burn us real bad. Your right, they didn't teach us that in school. I remember how I learned about sharp glass and a hot fireplace screen and tons of other stuff; I experienced it. Experience can reduce events associated with loss but hardly touches the real pain felt when loss occurs and that pain is felt universally. All those people in the neighborhood, at school, on television, at the game, in the cars, in Orlando or Seattle or Cuba or Japan, all those people have or will have their entire personage crushed while still young enough to dream about tomorrow or dream about that which might have been. We're all with you Dan.

[Dan_H]

thanks =) it means a lot to me