[lavenderly]

I've been battling with this issue for my life. I always strive to get what I want in life and try to achieve the best I can. As a result, I am outstanding in numerous areas of my life.

However, as I get recognition, bad things come in chains and I could not avoid being unlucky. If the weather forecasted that there will be no rain for a month, I will still bring an umbrella everyday, just in case. Until one faithful when I finally got tired and intend to believe the weather forecast... I left my umbrella at home and the sky poured like cats and dogs. After that day, it was back to ole' sunny day.

When I am in the family car and we are out for dinner, there is always no empty parking lots. But if I get out of the car and walk to the venue, my family will find a parking space in no time.

In my school days, syllabus and textbooks changes right in the semester I was in, despite records of fairly stable syllabus in the past. Every time I have exams, the person next to me will always be either sneezing away with flu or snoring away. It disturbed my concentration. Why did that person sit next to me and not far from me so that I will not be disadvantaged? Lecturers have been kind to me and admire my enthusiasm in studies, however... somehow... my results are not as good as those whom I helped in class and who never studies, because I am never as lucky as most of them who guessed the right questions or guessed the right answers (when there are choices given).

In church, I am a well-trained organist but often faced criticisms about my dressing although I am conservative in choosing attire. Many members have been wearing more revealing clothes and do not get reprimanded.

Recently, my colleagues and I were given a project to work on and we will be evaluated accordingly. Needless to say, my boss was very happy with my progress, but the final result was far worse than any of us has expected. What's worst, my close colleague whom I guide through out the project got the best evaluation despite doing it the very last minute.

What is going on in my life that is making me soooo unlucky? Why do good things happen to me only to be taken away suddenly and unexpectedly? Should I continue to strive for the things I want and plan my life? Or should I leave it to fate, which is always bad in my case?

Does anyone face the same situation I am in?

[templelane]

Right you probably won't like my answer but here goes.

You are not unlucky.

You are choosing and spotting paranormal reasons for normal everyday events and failures. Take responsibility for your own actions. Perhaps you spend too much time helping others so that you don't have time to work on your own work or revise enough for yourself.

Perhaps you get judged harder because of your negative attitude towards yourself, drawing attention and criticism your way. Perhaps you are just overly sensitive.

We make our own luck, we really do.

This 'I'm just unlucky thing' is a complete cop out. In fact making someone believe they are unlucky is the basics of cursing somebody. Very easy to do if they believe in that sort of thing and it can ruin their endeavours.

Right to spot your own luck:

How's you health? How many limbs do you have? You are talking on line which means you are educated and have access to a computer. You own an umbrella! You have a job. You talk in complete sentences with correct grammar- you are not an idiot! You went onto higher education. You can play the organ (no mean feat!). So you are talented, educated, smart with a job. That is not unlucky.

There are child soldiers, people starving because of rice shortages and cyclones, people who were locked in a cellar for all of their lives. People who get hit by cars and are paralysed form the neck down and can only communicate by blinking. People who are born so that the slightest touch causes their skin to blister off. Funny thing is people in these situations don't usually complain about how unlucky they are.

Being rained on a little or not getting the promotion you want doesn't seem so bad in comparison.

You need to get out of this negative pattern of thinking or you will just curse yourself for the rest of your life. If you can't do it alone see a therapist who specialises in Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) to teach you how to avoid negative thinking.

We make our own luck - start seeing the glass half full not half empty.

[lavenderly]

Thanks templelane for your long answer. I know where you are coming from as I've read much about creating our own fate and luck is within our own hands.

It is very true that I am not unlucky in terms of being a complete and well-rounded human being. As mentioned in my first post, I get more negative things coming my way as I increase the positive things. Like u said, we need to make our own luck. So I did, and landed myself in good grades, getting a scholarship, making my way through work etc.

What I do not understand and find very hard in trying to understand is why in comparison to people around me, of equal status and opportunity, I am less fortunate. Even in the same neighbourhood with people who are more affluent than me, my house got "chosen" by thieves to be ransacked and not others. How can I control that with positive thinking??

I hate to be pathetic and pity myself. That is why I chose to ignore that I have bad luck. But as things turned sour one after another... one just can't help but wonder what is wrong in life.

[templelane]

Well you have to think, yes it was bad my house was robbed- but at least no one was hurt. It is just stuff after all. The thieves probably chose your house because it looked easier to rob/ it was the closest one to them at the time.

Take this as an example
My friend crashed her car and it cost her tons to get it fixed, then three weeks after she smashed into a deer and flipped the car (I think it was three) times, it was a complete write off. Unlucky? I don't think so- she got out without any serious injury.

Bad things happen at random to everybody- it's life. Don't let it drag you down.

How do you feel in other areas of your life other than luck? Is it possible this feeling of unluckiness is just a symptom of a greater malaise?

[Choux]

This comes as a great shock to many Americans, but... l, you are not the center of the world!

"Stuff" happen to everyone. You are selectively choosing what to remember and tying all the events you perceive as negative together into having a personal connection to you. This kind of ruminating about things could possibly lead to paranoia, in my opinion.

You are thinking about yourself too much... time to fill your life with positive activities such as sports and hobbies... volunteering your time is a good way to broaden your horizons and learning about altruism.

Best wishes in 2008! :)