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    JaeVee's Avatar
    JaeVee Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Sep 11, 2012, 09:21 AM
    Girlfriend seeing another guy? Keeping secrets? Confused
    Okay so I'll try to make this story as short as possible.

    Well my ex and I dated for 3 years, we really love each other and had this strong bond, been through so much together too. She lost it to me but I didn't really count it as sex since every time I had put it in (5 times) she would be scared and it would hurt her so I didn't rush that, neither did I care about that too much.

    Anyway last month have not been able to see each other at all, only text. She has been in college for a week, her first year, and last Friday we told each other it felt like we weren't even in a relationship and it was weird but we still loved each other and we decided to have some space, I wanted space with a little contact she didn't want to talk till next month so.

    Well 5 days have passed of NC and I already missed her so decided to just check up on her so I sent her a text, she replied with one answered and started calling me 'Jake' instead of the usual "babe" so I found it very weird and asked her why she was being like that, later in that conversation she mentions that she thinks its better if she is single "rite now" and that we shouldn't contact or see each other until she is ready to be "friends" so I asked if she is talking to anyone or did anything and she said "nah, I'm not ready to be in a relationship for a while."

    I asked if she met any new guys and she said yes she met a lot but nothing serious and that they're just friends. I believe her because she's the type of girl who tells me the truth and I **** see her lying, she's sweet and innocent so I agreed with it at first... that same day, after her class ended at 3pm, I texted her at 9pm saying "are you still awake" she didn't answer until 2:30am saying "why whats up?" Then rite after she posted a picture on instagram of herself and her hair is all messed up with the caption saying " crazy hair, dont care."

    I also saw that before she went out she posted on instagram a picture of her and it looked like her hair was all done in a new style I've never seen, makeup was nice , and she dressed to impress and another picture of I guess what she did when she went out, of her smoking hookah + she looked drunk and it looked like it was in a room or dorm not too sure but her cousin commented on it saying "aremni you going to the parade tm?" my ex said " Yes" then her cousin said "great are you bringing your bf jake?" and my ex responded with " uh lol nah, I have to fill you in and tell you lots".

    Well Anyway I didn't answer till the next day and asked if we can meet up real quick to talk because it'll make me feel better but she said that it will make her feel worse said she was busy this weekend and going out with her mom to a party of her friends and then next day with family. I said OK that's fine.

    It seems like she keeps pushing me away if I contact her, even though I rarely do because of it, but I don't show her that I'm hurt or anything. Well anyway I saw her the day before yesterday at a dominican parade/festival... we were both drunk so I decided to hit her up and meet with her " saying her I;m drunk and I know you are too but I would love to see you rite now, I figure drunk people tell the truth so if you wanna see me let me know but if you dont, dont answer."

    She called right away and said lets meet at dunkin donuts, we met and talked and it seemed like her feelings were coming back but then she left and texted me a bit later saying it was nice seeing you again buddy " I just said its always a nice time being together, we should do it more often and she said " I think we're good how we are, its good " I said I'm sure everything will work out just fine and she responded with " lmao so you're down to be friends ? I;m like in the process of gettign used to that ideaaaa" I just said thats a tough one because thats not what I;m looking for.

    The convo went on and ended me saying "well you apparently you're not taking me seriously so I'm going to stop trying, this break didn't go as well as we thought she said "You say I'm not taking you seriously but you're not by not listening to me and what I think I want" I said Nah I understand okay goodnight.

    Well Since I know It was close to impossible texting her her or talking to her in person, I really wanted to know if something was up and if she's been keeping something from me because I have this gut feeling she is not being 100% honest with me. So I wrote a 7 page letter asking telling her how I feel and if she has done anything I just want to know the truth and that's all.

    I also wrote a little about how I feel for her and also mentioned what happened to our plan that we were going to have which was doing one semester of college in jersey and then going to the same college next semester in Miami. Well I left the letter by her window and told her, she said she doesn't want to read it yet but she will eventually.

    Yesterday I went to drop off her clothes and randomly walked into her walking her dog so we talked and it was cool but the same time she didn't want to look at me.. idk but I asked her again if she been doing things or talking to someone and she said no she's just been going out with her friends, then I asked if we're done forever because I need to know what you're doing and I'm not going to wait, I can move on and she said she never said forever and then I walked her home and our hug turned into sort of playfight and laughter then I just left it as that told her if anytihng bothers her or if she needs to talk lmk but I'm not going to contact her and I walked off.

    so I'm just confused. Last night I saw that she posed on instagram a pic of her at the parade with a lady who sold drinks and a guy (her girlfriend's friend) posted "she wouldnt leave me alone!" my ex said "LMAO she wanted you, cougar status" My ex's friend said "stop talking to me friend!" Then the guy said "who are you!?" her friend said "lol I hate you" and my ex said "I'm aremni !" The guy said " And I'm Bilal! " Then my ex posted... SO I'm guessin my ex was not only with her girls but guys too, I also remember that my ex did say she was dancing at the parade so yeah I'm just confused rn bt I don't want to assume.

    Need help and opinions, I want to get her back but its difficult and I don't know what to do rn and if she's hiding things from me. What do you think is going on with her? Sorry for this long story.
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
    Dating & Teen Expert
     
    #2

    Sep 11, 2012, 09:48 AM
    After reading all of this, I'm confused.
    You need to leave her alone. She keeps telling you that and you keep calling and texting.
    She is probably enjoying being single.
    You need to do the same. Stop waiting on her for some sign. You have broken up. Move on.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
    Jobs & Parenting Expert
     
    #3

    Sep 11, 2012, 10:00 AM
    Hiding things from you? Seeing other guys? You two are broken up. She no longer has any "obligation" to you. Move on into your own future without her.

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