[phonyjunta]

I am not sure whether any of you live in the UK but anyway...

I hate my school so so so so so so so so much, every time I go there I want to cry. And do you know what makes it worse, it's a boarding school. I am not too sure what your impression of boarding school is, but let me tell you the truth. The showers in my dorm building are so bad that you have to turn them down to an insanely cold temperature to have a shower if you need to wash your hair, there are only two showers which work and they are always filled; you never get a minute to yourself, there is nowhere you can go to be alone and if you do people wonder what is wrong with you; every single time you get a detention you get shouted at your housemistress (and this only applies to me, but the Dep-Housemistress hates me, and I am not making that up she really does, but I can't do anything because no one listens to me when I tell them); you would probably be more comfortable sleeping on the floor than sleeping in the beds that we have; the teachers there are so old fashioned and if you try and argue that a detention is unfair they believe you are talking back or if it was not you they do not believe you; half of the people in my year are stuck-up and complete idiots (a genuine question in my history class was 'So Truman was the president of Germany?); the food is foul, we get fed on less money than prisoners do; the heating is barely ever turned on; the internet is censored like hell, more than I think is even legal (iTunes and any shopping websites, blogs, Facebook even some game websites) and the worst thing is being away from home, silly things like just being able to experience watching TV on the sofa or home cooking.

So, I told all of this to my parents, and they still are not letting me move. I have been there for almost a year and a half and I still hate it. It is not homesickness or anything like that although I do miss home, I just have such a burning hatred of that place that I sometimes go and cry in the bathrooms. Every time that I return to my home I feel so happy. I don't hate *some* of the people there but I just hate the school so much that I think I might go mad! Every time I drive back through the gates I want to kill myself. As I said, I told my parents that I hate the place and they simply say 'it's only two and a half years'. I ran away from the school and they still wouldn't let me change.

I know that people will say that I am lucky, but I really am not. I could be getting just as good an education at a school where I live and I probably would not hate it there as much. I have been to another boarding school, and I did not hate it there even though I left (because a friend died and being away from home made me think I hated the school). And my father then made me go to the one that I go now. I now hate my parents for taking away all of my freedom by making me go there. This isn't some kind of Poor Little Rich Girl case, I honestly despise my school with all of my heart. Short of getting expelled is there anything I can do?

[Wondergirl]

Why did your parents send you to a boarding school in the first place?

It sounds like, from your description, that you are the only student who is unhappy there.

[SeirraA]

I'm so sorry for what you are going through now. I just wonder why your parents are forcing you to go to this boarding school. In any case, if you can't find an escape, then you have to try and make the best out of it. Look at the good things in there, there must be at least some good thing in that boarding school of yours, sure it has strict sickening rules and not so very high quality furnished stuff but you aren't bossed by your parents, you get to meet new friends and people and if your social you can enter and have a look at their lives! Loads of people living in their air-condition houses are being child abused and have emotional disorders.
Try to find something you enjoy doing, like drawing or yoga or sports.You got to live with it.
Good luck & don't give up.

[phonyjunta]

Yeah. You are right. It's just sometimes it can get the best of me, but it is quite silly for me to be complaining. At least I have my health and my family :) Thank you.

[FIameLilyFX]

Hi - Sorry to hear that you are in a bad place with your boarding school. I must say you wrote a very articulate message and full credit there to you. I am suitably impressed. Firstly, can I say that I am a Housemistress in a girls' boarding school, and a former boarder myself, so I do understand what you are saying. Do you have any friends there - even one? I know that this is usually the key to helping girls enjoy life more away from home. If you can go out share good, fun times together. I generally find with my girls that the condition of the boarding house has little importance as long as the girls are happy with their friends around them. It does help if you have a more sympathetic and supportive Housemistress.though. If you can have an honest chat with her to let her know your feelings to raise her awareness of your unhappy situation. Also, keep yourself busy which will alleviate thinking about home. I hope you settle down soon. It's never easy but I have experienced some dreadfully unhappy girls settle down to enjoy their lives at boarding school against all odds. Amazing. They made some friends and that was it. Take care and hope things go well for you. :-)

[lydiaprice123]

Hi,

I just want to say that you should do whatever it takes to leave if it's making you that unhappy. Some people just aren't cut out for boarding school. I went and couldn't hack it at all.

I've been out of the school for 4 years now but I still get nightmares about being back and my relationship with certain family members has been ir-repairably damaged. I know I'm being unreasonable but I'll never forgive my mother for dropping me there and letting me become a part-time family member. Some people are lucky, they coast through. But not everyone. I was there seven years, the memories are so engrained in me. It still all feels like yesterday. I go through phases where I tell myself it's made me tough and independent but it's all a façade. Christ I was there for seven years. Day in day out day in day out just the same people the same buildings the same activities the same punishments the same criticisms and worst of all, the same fears. How can anyone possibly let that mindset go afterwards? I'm sorry you're having an unfortunate time but you have to get out of it otherwise you'll never forgive yourself. You don't want to be still dreaming about it, still arguing about it and still have all your worst fears and insecurities to be linked to it years later. You'll hate yourself and you'll hate your school and you won't even know where your school's character ends and your character begin.

[phonyjunta]

I talked to her a while ago and it is getting better. They have unblocked Facebook for us so it is easier to get in contact with friends as well.