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    bjb2u's Avatar
    bjb2u Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Nov 16, 2007, 08:22 AM
    Divorce yes or no
    I don't want to divorce him but he needs help with his drinking problem.. which I guess makes it my problem too.Is there any kind of help:cool::(
    LearningAsIGo's Avatar
    LearningAsIGo Posts: 2,653, Reputation: 350
    Survivor
     
    #2

    Nov 16, 2007, 08:26 AM
    I would highly recommend Al-Anon Welcome to Al-Anon and Alateen it is an alcohol abuse group for family members.
    onfire4God's Avatar
    onfire4God Posts: 8, Reputation: 0
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    #3

    Nov 18, 2007, 09:33 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by bjb2u
    I don't want to divorce him but he needs help with his drinking problem..which I guess makes it my problem too.Is there any kind of help:cool::(
    My father was a drunk 4 14yrs of my life.I was a daddy's girl all the way but when my mother left him and took me life finally come to her and myself.You don't and shouldn't stay.When someone loves a thing more then their spouse or children they aren't worth staying with.Yes this might seem harsh 2 some but the truth always hurts.Don't think he will ever change 4 you or anyone else.I can say this when my mom left and he hit the bottom HARD he quit drinking the last 4 yrs of his life.So there is hope always yet sometimes we get in the way of God.
    bjb2u's Avatar
    bjb2u Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Nov 18, 2007, 09:43 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by onfire4God
    My father was a drunk 4 14yrs of my life.I was a daddy's girl all the way but when my mother left him and took me life finally come 2 her and myself.You don't and shouldn't stay.When someone loves a thing more then their spouse or children they aren't worth staying with.Yes this might seem harsh 2 some but the truth always hurts.Don't think he will ever change 4 you or anyone else.I can say this when my mom left and he hit the bottom HARD he quit drinking the last 4 yrs of his life.So there is hope always yet sometimes we get in the way of God.
    Thank you but I don't think that's the answer I wanted. He needs help.. not another let down
    bjb2u's Avatar
    bjb2u Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Nov 18, 2007, 09:43 PM
    He need help not another let down.. Thank you for you comment...
    JoeCanada76's Avatar
    JoeCanada76 Posts: 6,669, Reputation: 1707
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    #6

    Nov 18, 2007, 09:47 PM
    It depends on the person. Some people need to hit rock bottom in order to change, others need support and help through it in order to change. You know your husband better then anybody. Divorce is drastic unless there is abuse involved, if so then you do need to get out.
    Counseling, marriage counseling, AA and other support groups are needed. You need to look into these things and see if he is willing to change for himself.
    bjb2u's Avatar
    bjb2u Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    Nov 18, 2007, 09:49 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Jesushelper76
    It depends on the person. Some people need to hit rock bottom in order to change, others need support and help through it in order to change. You know your husband better then anybody. Divorce is drastic unless there is abuse involved, if so then you do need to get out.
    Counseling, marriage counseling, AA and other support groups are needed. You need to look into these things and see if he is willing to change for himself.
    You are right... thank you
    bjb2u's Avatar
    bjb2u Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
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    #8

    Nov 18, 2007, 09:50 PM
    You are absolutely right.. thank you for caring about others...
    bjb2u's Avatar
    bjb2u Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
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    #9

    Nov 18, 2007, 09:53 PM
    Comment on LearningAsIGo's post
    Because this person is caring. It helped me... thanks
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #10

    Nov 27, 2007, 04:21 PM
    Sad as it is, and as hard as it is to do, the only help you can give this man is to leave him alone to fall on his face hard enough to want to change. Get with an Al-Anon group in your area to educate yourself about this disease, and how to handle it, and protect yourself.
    450donn's Avatar
    450donn Posts: 1,821, Reputation: 239
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    #11

    Nov 28, 2007, 11:43 AM
    From personal experience, divorce only hurts the children. However a drunk parent hurts way more. My parents were divorced when I was 7. Of course I was stuck to my mother who became the drunk. She belittled my father all the time. Was usually drunk by 7 about 5 out of 7 nites, and I was lucky to get dinner by 9 and that was if I did it myself. From my experience, your only choice is to give him the ultimatum, get sober or get out. His drinking problem will only destroy your family and cause untold problems for the children. Do you want that?

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