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-   -   Divorce yes or no (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=152723)

  • Nov 16, 2007, 08:22 AM
    bjb2u
    Divorce yes or no
    I don't want to divorce him but he needs help with his drinking problem.. which I guess makes it my problem too.Is there any kind of help:cool::(
  • Nov 16, 2007, 08:26 AM
    LearningAsIGo
    I would highly recommend Al-Anon Welcome to Al-Anon and Alateen it is an alcohol abuse group for family members.
  • Nov 18, 2007, 09:33 PM
    onfire4God
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by bjb2u
    I don't want to divorce him but he needs help with his drinking problem..which I guess makes it my problem too.Is there any kind of help:cool::(

    My father was a drunk 4 14yrs of my life.I was a daddy's girl all the way but when my mother left him and took me life finally come to her and myself.You don't and shouldn't stay.When someone loves a thing more then their spouse or children they aren't worth staying with.Yes this might seem harsh 2 some but the truth always hurts.Don't think he will ever change 4 you or anyone else.I can say this when my mom left and he hit the bottom HARD he quit drinking the last 4 yrs of his life.So there is hope always yet sometimes we get in the way of God.
  • Nov 18, 2007, 09:43 PM
    bjb2u
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by onfire4God
    My father was a drunk 4 14yrs of my life.I was a daddy's girl all the way but when my mother left him and took me life finally come 2 her and myself.You don't and shouldn't stay.When someone loves a thing more then their spouse or children they aren't worth staying with.Yes this might seem harsh 2 some but the truth always hurts.Don't think he will ever change 4 you or anyone else.I can say this when my mom left and he hit the bottom HARD he quit drinking the last 4 yrs of his life.So there is hope always yet sometimes we get in the way of God.

    Thank you but I don't think that's the answer I wanted. He needs help.. not another let down
  • Nov 18, 2007, 09:43 PM
    bjb2u
    He need help not another let down.. Thank you for you comment...
  • Nov 18, 2007, 09:47 PM
    JoeCanada76
    It depends on the person. Some people need to hit rock bottom in order to change, others need support and help through it in order to change. You know your husband better then anybody. Divorce is drastic unless there is abuse involved, if so then you do need to get out.
    Counseling, marriage counseling, AA and other support groups are needed. You need to look into these things and see if he is willing to change for himself.
  • Nov 18, 2007, 09:49 PM
    bjb2u
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Jesushelper76
    It depends on the person. Some people need to hit rock bottom in order to change, others need support and help through it in order to change. You know your husband better then anybody. Divorce is drastic unless there is abuse involved, if so then you do need to get out.
    Counseling, marriage counseling, AA and other support groups are needed. You need to look into these things and see if he is willing to change for himself.

    You are right... thank you
  • Nov 18, 2007, 09:50 PM
    bjb2u
    You are absolutely right.. thank you for caring about others...
  • Nov 18, 2007, 09:53 PM
    bjb2u
    Comment on LearningAsIGo's post
    Because this person is caring. It helped me... thanks
  • Nov 27, 2007, 04:21 PM
    talaniman
    Sad as it is, and as hard as it is to do, the only help you can give this man is to leave him alone to fall on his face hard enough to want to change. Get with an Al-Anon group in your area to educate yourself about this disease, and how to handle it, and protect yourself.
  • Nov 28, 2007, 11:43 AM
    450donn
    From personal experience, divorce only hurts the children. However a drunk parent hurts way more. My parents were divorced when I was 7. Of course I was stuck to my mother who became the drunk. She belittled my father all the time. Was usually drunk by 7 about 5 out of 7 nites, and I was lucky to get dinner by 9 and that was if I did it myself. From my experience, your only choice is to give him the ultimatum, get sober or get out. His drinking problem will only destroy your family and cause untold problems for the children. Do you want that?

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