[talaniman]

The others are right, and we know from reading this and other posts that you jumped in rather fast and have no time to trust or even know your wife very well, and haven't had time to even develop good communications.

That's where trust starts and builds over time with knowing a person well, and being secure in yourself. None of which you have.

Lose the GPS, or destroy the relationship which is already damaged by your actions. What if she is smart enough to know she is being tracked, and is leading you a merry chase??

Another thing to consider, is maybe she is afraid to trust you with the truth, because her actions are innocent, but because of HER past baggage, she is afraid of what you will say or do.

That's why knowing someone well, and communicating are important, so start with asking about her, so you can know her, and understand, and she can understand you, without that GPS BS stalking.

[jmjoseph]

So your wife is under surveillance now? Is she a suspect in a murder case?

When I married my wife, we promised to be faithful, and trust each other. She is a flight attendant. She is away from home at least two nights a week. Usually in Europe. Most times I keep our two sons. Sometimes their grandparents get them overnight, and I am home alone. My wife trusts me completely, and I trust her with the same conditions, entirely. When she is late coming in from a trip, I don't wonder where she is, or if she is with someone else. I wonder if something bad has happened. Like car trouble.

That's the way trust works.

All or nothing at all.

[jmjoseph]

jmjoseph agrees: I will kill you on the inside.

Sorry Torrid. That should say IT will kill you on the inside.

I swear I'm not some not job.

[Torrid13]

jmjoseph agrees: I will kill you on the inside.

Sorry Torrid. That should say IT will kill you on the inside.

I swear I'm not some not job.

It's OK, I get that line all the time.

Lol, kidding. It's fine, I knew what you meant. :)

[clickaus]

Hi y'all
DoulaLC You are right past relationships are a major cause for these feelings, and yes I wonder sometimes why a beautiful lady like this would ne with a guy like me. Reflections of the Joe Jackson song ' Pretty women walking with gorillas down my street'.
My last relationship lied and cheated. Not suggested for a moment my wife is doing this.
Again you are right, my imagination does run away with me especially when I cannot make sense of a situation. There was no reason for her to be down this side street to her old apartment, none. If she had mentioned she picked up some mail from there or yes she had caught up with her friend, mayby OK. But mail and the apartment access is usually from the main street in front. Plus I would not feel comfortable with her visiting a single male friend at his apartment. Trust or no trust it is not appropriate. Thanks again

[Kitkat22]

Hi y'all
DoulaLC You are right past relationships are a major cause for these feelings, and yes I wonder sometimes why a beautiful lady like this would ne with a guy like me. Reflections of the Joe Jackson song ' Pretty women walking with gorillas down my street'.
My last relationship lied and cheated. Not suggested for a moment my wife is doing this.
Again you are right, my imagination does run away with me especially when I cannot make sense of a situation. There was no reason for her to be down this side street to her old apartment, none. If she had mentioned she picked up some mail from there or yes she had caught up with her friend, mayby OK. But mail and the apartment access is usually from the main street in front. Plus I would not feel comfortable with her visiting a single male friend at his apartment. Trust or no trust it is not appropriate. Thanks again

CHILL OUT... or you are going to lose this woman. I mean it.:rolleyes:

[Torrid13]

If it was her old apartment, it's not like the region is unfamiliar to her. Maybe she was reminiscing or felt attached to the area. There's no reason to get upset over that. You're not her dad. You're her husband. You're her equal. You have no right to keep tabs on her 24/7.

[clickaus]

It was her old apartment where she, her daughter, the single male friend and his friend [male] shared. I was just upset that she chose to make up a story which led to wondering why, if all so innocent and above board, why take the risk of lying?


The male friend and his friend still live at that apartment

[Kitkat22]

The male friend and his friend still live at that apartment

That doesn't mean she is sleeping with them...

[ShawnKG5]

Hey she needs her friends don't keep her in a cage. If she really loves you and YOU TREAT HER RIGHT she won't be dating guys plus you just got married there is nothing to worry about you guys have a fresh start don't trap her she needs air you have female friends why can't she have male friends? Think about that. Okay?

[clickaus]

I accept that friends are important, and as such I am quite honest and open about my friends. She has met most of my friends. The only friend she hasn't met are the friends I haven't seen in some while. So why does she feel the need to make up a story when a simple honest explanation would put the issue out of mind in 30 seconds. That is what puzzles me .

[talaniman]

That's the ultimate hypocrisy, you wonder why she can't be honest, but you are not honest yourself.

Tell her that you have been tracking her, confront her with your proof of her lies, and divorce her.

That would be honest. Why continue this charade of a marriage?

[clickaus]

I am honest about where I go and I only meet my friends when I am with her. I would not go to see any female friend alone, certainly not at their apartment.

[Kitkat22]

You are probably the most insecure man I have ever known.

Why in the world do you do this to yourself?

More importantly, why do you put your wife through this?

I want you to listen and read the advice you have been given. If you don't she'll leave you.

IF my husband were to act as you have.. I would be gone in a New York Minute. No.. I take that back he would be gone with every last stitch of clothing he has.

Never, ever in all the years we have been married has he questioned me or accused me of infidelity.. nor have I questioned him.

We trust each other and he nor I have never given each other reason to be jealous. I got over that the first year we were married. I was jealous of him. I learned to trust and we have a wonderful marriage
.

You on the other hand have stooped to a level that is degrading to your wife and it makes you look like a stalker instead of a husband. Wake up or you'll find yourself old and alone..

[clickaus]

Got it. Understand. I am an idiot. Those gremlins keep getting inside my head a getting the better of me. I needed your kick up the backside. I try to shield her from most of what I fear for fear she will think the worst of me, truly I don't what that to happen. I consider this my last chance in life to be happy in a loving relationship with a built-in family. And it is fear of losing this that drives me to distraction. The previous relationship promised me everything I wanted only to find she was lying and cheating, it hit me hard.. I was just looking for signs to ensure this wasn't the same. Consequently I have been over analyzing every ounce of every situation expecting to find the same traits and I have been an idiot, I know this. I will sign myself up for electric shock treatment immediately [joking]. I truly thank everyone for helping me put things into perspective and thank you for everyone's patience.

[talaniman]

You talk so much of honesty, but you are not honest with yourself, because you just ain't ready for a relationship, because you haven't let go of the other one yet.

[clickaus]

Hi all
I spent almost a whole day sitting in my car at local park thinking about all that has been said and all that I have thought about. DoulaLC hit the nail on the head for me and I have come to the conclusion that I am sometimes [alot] worry about my wife becoming interested in someone else or someone else becoming interested in my wife. That really is the crux behind all my fears and worries that make me feel the way I do.

[Kitkat22]

I'm going to ask you some hard questions and if you don't want to answer them that's okay.

1.Why did your first wife leave you?

2. Were you insecure about her also?

3. Did she really cheat on you or do you just assume she did?

4. Have you ever been abusive to your first wife or your present wife and by abusive I mean physically hitting them. You do emotionally hurt your wife with all this mistrust and accusations and tracking her with a gps?

[talaniman]

Okay, you are obsessively insecure, what are you going to do about it?

[Kitkat22]

Hope I didn't scare him away.. I'm only trying to help...