[Ash123]

As my grandmother used to say "pee or get off the pot"
Keep playing games with her, or tell her to get lost. The choice is yours.

Ahh, There's nothing like an incontinent granparent to get you on track.

[DazzaB]

About 4 months ago I started a topic about my ex wanting a break. That slowly lead into a breakup, then I went NC for a month and we started seeing each other again.. We were casually seeing each other but last night I broke it off completely as we weren't meeting up much and she didn't seem bothered about the relationship anymore. She told me she never wanted to be boyfriend/girlfriend again and the only reason I started seeing her again was because I thought that it could develop into a proper relationship again.

I told her I had to move on because all I think of is the past we had and at the minute I'm not happy with the relationship we have even though she is. She told me that she wouldn't be happy if we were boyfriend/girlfriend, so basically we both want different things.

She begged me not to break up completely so I told her I would think about it and today I sent her a message saying:

"Hey, I've thought alot about us today and I think we shouldn't break us off completely but I need a break from all of this. Then we can see what's going on after that. Ok? I love you!"

She hasn't replied but I never expected her to. I expect that to be the last of us because during the break I hope I can stop caring about her and move on. I think that she will realise she wants me to be her boyfriend again at some stage but by then I hope I'm over her.

What do you think?

And the reason I posted this was because I'm worried sick that she will find someone else (I think she is casually seeing someone at the minute).

Just heard that her uncle died tonight, he was only 30.. had two children, one was 4 and the other 11. I feel like I should be there for her, yet I'm huffing with her :(:(

[DazzaB]

After 4 and a half months, it seems like she has finally realised what she's missing. She sent me a text last night saying:

"I love you.. you mean the world to me and I dont want to lose you ever. I miss the way we were. I loved being with you all day every Saturday. I just miss everything. I wish things were back to the way were. I messed EVERYTHING up.. I love you though forever and ever."

Is this telling me she wants to be my girlfriend again? What should I do?

[smoothy]

Don't bother with her, she's a drama queen that doesn't know what she wants, and will changer her mind again for certain, several times in fact. Some women are like this their whole lives, most decide what they want by their mid to late 20's.

Ignore her or expect to go through this all over again with her. There are plenty of other women out there. I recommend you date a few of them. That will give you the experience you need to recognize when you have a loopy, indecisive girl like this one.

[Homegirl 50]

After 4 and a half months, it seems like she has finally realised what she's missing. She sent me a text last night saying:

"I love you.. you mean the world to me and I dont want to lose you ever. I miss the way we were. I loved being with you all day every Saturday. I just miss everything. I wish things were back to the way were. I messed EVERYTHING up.. I love you though forever and ever."

Is this telling me she wants to be my girlfriend again? What should I do?

No, she is just saying she realized she meesed things up, she misess you.. . She says "I love you though" but not enough to get together again.
I would not even respond. Or respond by saying Thank you! And let it be.

[DazzaB]

Well, she told me that she really, really wants what we had back.. but she's afraid she'll change her mind and she doesn't want to mess me around.

What is the best thing to do? Maybe the best thing to do is the hardest thing to do but I feel I have to do it... Do I make her miss me again by just acting cold with her or do I just tell her that this isn't going to work?

[Homegirl 50]

You leave it alone. She broke off with you. If she wants you back she has to be the one making the moves.

[chuff]

Well, she told me that she really, really wants what we had back.. but she's afraid she'll change her mind and she doesn't want to mess me around.

You tell her to go screw herself. Do you know what she's really saying to you? She's saying that something in her personal life isn't working like she anticipated and now she wants you back... but at a future price that you are going to pay for with collateral she is offering now.

In other words, she is telling you that she will take you back on a limited basis but if someone else comes around she has already told you that she will pull out the "Well I want to stay friends but I told you before that I might change my mind."

She's screwing with you, so tell her to go screw herself and quit talking to her.

What is the best thing to do? Maybe the best thing to do is the hardest thing to do but I feel I have to do it... Do I make her miss me again by just acting cold with her or do I just tell her that this isn't going to work?

You got it.

[Homegirl 50]

We don't know what she is really saying. I'm assuming she is sorry for the pain she has caused, but she does not know what she wants. Don't play games with her because you really don't know what game she's playing if in fact she is playing one.
If it were me, I'd tell her "look this is not working, you're not happy and neither am I. Let's call it quits. If we are meant to be it will work out at some later time" Then be done with it. You have ended it, but you have not burned any bridges.

[Ash123]

She's been toying with you for 4 months now.

I'd walk away for at least 6 months... time to (pardon the cliche) man-up.