Check out some similar questions!

talaniman · May 23, 2011, 05:53 AM

Harshness Warning

Every time you talk to her you get the same crap over, and over. Why is the next time going to be any different than it was before. I think if you could leave her alone for a year, then she wouldn't confuse you and yo wouldn't be a fool for love. Lets be clear, she isn't confused at all, you may be, but she is not. She is just very good at stringing you on until she finds what she wants and you allow it, so we can't blame her for anything.

You are foolish because you want to be. You have had many chances to do what's right for you but again, and again, you have chosen the path of misery. What a rut your thinking is in. Go ahead, talk some more, and use the NC rule to make you feel better. Of course a few days of not talking will change her mind, and you can have a day of hot kisses, gropes, and some more looks that melt you arse. Then she will say "more time" and you will say NO Contact, and here we go again.

Get off the roller coaster my foolish friend, this ride has been over since the failure of her January affair.

loveher4eva · May 23, 2011, 02:36 PM

I truly understand what you are saying and I fear I am like a drug addict but that is what I feel like. I got a hit and now I would do anything to feel that high again no matter how brief! And sadly I am not strong and I am the sort of person who will spiral into a bad path over this. Its no way to live I know, I honestly was doing a bit better a few week ago even though I still thought about her every day but seeing her nad kissing her and hearing her tell me she loves me and wants a future with me and that this time its 4eva has made me need that feeing again even if I have to put up with this horrible after feeling. Look how pathetic I sound!

talaniman · May 23, 2011, 02:57 PM

Stop making excuses, and get off the pity pot! Truth be told, if you wanted to do better, you would!

I wish · May 24, 2011, 02:24 PM

Seems like you're not completely ready to give up on her. We can tell you all day and night to go 100% no contact, but eventually, you'll end up giving up on your own, since this roller coaster ride is going to end at some point whether you want to or not. No contact right now just means that you have an opportunity to get out of the roller coaster earlier.

If you feel that you need to see the ride through, then we can't stop you.

loveher4eva · May 25, 2011, 03:31 AM

Thank you I know what you are saying I have to want to quit my addiction to actually quit and if I'm honest not one part of me was ever ready to quit. We met yesterday and had inexpected break up sex which I thought would never happen

Cat1864 · May 25, 2011, 05:55 AM

If you really want to stop the confusion and craziness, use No Contact. Don't have any contact of any type with her for as long as it takes to let it all go. You don't contact her in any form (not even looking at her FaceBook page or through friends) and you do not accept any form of contact from her. Your best friends right now are Block, Ignore, Delete, and Spam Controls. She can't add to the confusion if you don't allow it.

Get involved in your life. If you have hobbies, use them to keep yourself busy. If you don't or as another way to change your thought patterns and habits, find/develop a new one. Hobbies, volunteer work, the gym, continuing education classes, etc. are all great ways to stay busy mentally and physically. They also have the added benefit of meeting new people and making new friends.

Give yourself a chance to heal properly. IF you have contact with her again, tell her the same thing. If you don't heal and let all of the emotional dust settle, you are just going to continue the pattern that is already being set.

BMI · May 25, 2011, 06:37 AM

I missed the March portion of this thread; although, no surprise to find out where it lead.

As T-man mentioned, this is total B.S. (not word for word, I'm much more uncouth).

This whole 'addiction' drivel is just an excuse to continue talking to her. Also, no shock and awe to learn sex is involved.

You are right about one thing however, you do sound pathetic. Not in the sense that your love for her has turned you into a fool, but rather that you are trying to convince yourself, and people on here, that this is why you just can't heed advice you really don't want to heed. It's not like most of us have not been through situations like this (I had a reallll dumb one years back) so trust this is a great place to gain some pretty valuable information (it also has a Home and Garden section, wonderful!)

All in all, you are not serious about leaving. You like the girl, the drama, the sex, etc. The question we should be asking you is: why are you even here?

amicon · May 25, 2011, 07:36 AM

We make choices in life-it seems yours is to stay in this soap and not actually listen to any of the advice you're being given.

Hopefully you'll grow out of it-another couple of months down the line.

I wish · May 25, 2011, 07:48 AM

Sometimes we all need proper closure. You just need to get everything out of your system so that you can start moving on properly. It takes time and effort to get it out. But before time and effort, the first step is to be willing to get it out.

At the moment, it seems more like you're holding on to some sort of hope that things might work itself out if you continue to hang around. That's what we call false hope, which is why the others are telling you to let go now.

False hope means that you're going to be disappointed in the end. Some people just need to see the disappointment for themselves to get that proper closure. You just might be one of those people. Nothing wrong with that, but it does drag out the pain longer.

The bad part about dragging out the pain is that you're missing out on other happiness around you.

loveher4eva · Jun 10, 2011, 12:49 PM

After a few weeks of been in and out of no contact with each other we both met up and realised we will always love each other. We are back together and taking it very slow. She has said sorry for everything and is eager to make up for it and understands what she did and how it effected me. We are both very happy and if it does not last only time will tell but I do believe people deserve a second chance and it may go wrong but we may have a very happy life together I say its worth the time and effort and so does she. I will keep you updated because there are not many success stories on here about getting back with exes and if this is one I want to give people hope that it can happen.

Cat1864 · Jun 10, 2011, 02:54 PM

If the two of you have really healed and are working together to rebuild your relationship, then I hope it all works out for you.

Please make certain that you both keep the lines of communication open and let the past go. Otherwise your updates are going to end up being more of the same confusion.

Good luck and best wishes for a happy and healthy relationship.

loveher4eva · Jun 28, 2011, 08:32 AM

Hey peeps this is my first update. I would say that things are definatley different than before. I do have that horrible feeling that when she is not with me that she is with someone else. And she is ALWAYS texting more than before and I do second guess everything she does and says. I'm hoping that will go over time but at the moment it is a problem for me. She is very depressed lately because she has no job and I know that feeling its horrible but I can't help thinking its more about me that she is depressed. We have spoke about it and she says she loves me and that its nothing to do with me why she is down. We do have good days and have lots of fun but sometimes she does not want to be close to me and she does not want to spend as much time with me as I do her. First time round she was very needy and I was annoyed at it and now it's the exact opposite.its a very confusing time but I know I love her and I hope for the best its still early days