Threads merged several times, please keep all questions regarding the same issue in the same thread


Hi after a serious 2 year relationship my girlfriend just broke up with me by text.she then got with someone else who she is now not with.I still have no real reason from her as to why we are not together and she claimed to love me forever and now she just wants to be friends even though the day before that she told me she wants to be with me forever.

She now does not even want to be friends she won't talk to me or get in touch at all. How can she just erase me from her life like that when we were planning on spending the rest of our lifes together and we were just about to get a house.can she really spend the rest of her life just forgetting me? I hope one day she will just talk to me again I mean I treated her perfect and she was so in love with me and I believe she has just forgotton that.

My ex and I planned our lifes together and she was so in love with me and I'm still so in love with her but she left saying she needed me time and then she got with a lot of boys which broke my heart,she got back in touch told me she wants me back and wants to make it up to me and the next day said she just wants to be friends.

A week later she does not even want to be friends she won't get in touch or anything.she is erasing me from her life and it hurts so much.for a whole two years she was so loving warm and soft and caring so this coldness just does not seem like her at all I'm waiting for her to miss me but I think she has got me out of her head does this mean the past two years have been a lie.

Can you just stop loving someone the day after you say you want kids and a house with them??

Her feelings changed,over a period,but she didn't discuss this with you so when she broke up with you it seemed incomprehensible.

The two years weren't a lie,but now you should get your life together,heal from the breakup and move on with your life.

Start no contact-as in no communication with her whatsoever.

Keep busy and be with people who love you.

Something changed guy, or she was the biggest, best liar you ever met. And a true coward to boot. I think she led you on until she thought she could have something better, and unceremoniously dumped you. She fed you lies, and false hopes, so you do as she is doing, LEAVE HER ALONE, and see this as a blessing in disguise.

You deserve all the time you need, to get over the shock of such deception, and the betrayal she perpetrated on you. Don't be confused, there are many people out there who prey on those who want to believe them, and that's what you fell victim to.

Be careful out there, the world is full of these kinds of people, who use and abuse, but we heal, and learn, and do better next time.

That's all you can really do.

Thank you for these comments is there no chance what so ever of us getting back together? I still love her and that won't change I don't want anyone else.she loved me so strongly can this not happen again with her?

I am not a psychic, but I do know you are hurt and confused deeply, and can think of nothing else but what you think you have lost. No, I will not feed your false hope, nor raise any hope of her coming back to destroy your dignity, and self respect any further because I do know, in time you will see this whole episode differently, than you do now.

Sorry I can't spare you the misery, and pain of the healing process.

My future was her now no other future will do for me I want to die I'm thinking abouot killing myself on her birthday so she can't ever forget me

Not a good idea,you have a whole life ahead of you.

You need to talk to someone,parents,friends and if you're depressed make an appointment to see your doctor.

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Originally Posted by loveher4eva

my future was her now no other future will do for me i want to die im thinking abouot killing myself on her birthday so she can't ever forget me

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What a cruel selfish idea, to inflict pain on others because you are in such pain!!

Completely unacceptable.

How long ago did she break up with you? How much do you attempt to contact her to try to get her to change her mind?

Do you have any interests in your life other than her? Do you have any hobbies, clubs, friends, etc. that you spend time with away from her?

Something you need to understand is that letting go and moving forward does not mean forgetting everyone or everything. It means healing and learning what wasn't working for us in the previous relationship. As perfect as you want to believe the relationship was, I am betting that you were ignoring the signs that all wasn't right. From the way you write here, I am wondering if you have been honest with yourself about the length of time she has tried to walk away before she texted you. How much guilt have you actually been using to try to keep her planning her future with you?

Time to live your own life. Don't sit around moping and thinking about what you have 'lost'. Get out of the house and look at what you can gain. Keep yourself busy-mentally and physically. Get together with old friends. Make new ones. Allow yourself to live. Allow yourself to heal. As you move forward, you will find that the pain does fade. Give yourself a chance to make new memories.

Take some time to cool off buddy.

Any break up can be very traumatizing at first, but it gets easier with time. Be patient with yourself, it will get easier. Once you overcome this, you will find happiness again.

You have an opportunity to start over for the better.

Thank you for all your comments. I realise now that I was blinded by love and thought she was perfect and I now know that she has cheated on me and she isn't the person I thought she was. The other day she again told me she wants to be friends and I told her about my mother getting cancer and that I was in hospital the other day and all she replied with was... "k" that's how cold she has got and then text me bk saying in "in the future i dont want to know about it". Can someone enlighten me on this behavior please?

Threads merged


Recently my ex girlfriend of over 2 years cheated on me and dumped me.in my eyes she was perfect and the most soft loving caring sweet funny person I have ever met... not a bad bone in her body.I realise now that I was blinded by love and thought she was perfect and I now know that she has cheated on me and she isn't the person I thought she was. The other day she text me and told me she wants to be friends and I told her about my mother getting cancer and that I was in hospital the other day and all she replied with was... "k" that's how cold she has got and then text me bk saying in "in the future i dont want to know about it".she has really turned the other way from what she was. Can someone really be that mean to say they don't care about your own monther getting seriously ill? When I was with her I saw her through some major family deaths of hers and she acts like I never existed. Can someone enlighten me on this behavior please?

No,I can't enlighten you,other then remind you that she's not the person you thought she were.

Friends?
Why?

Go no contact and heal;let her do her thing while you do yours.

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Originally Posted by loveher4eva

thank you for all your comments. i realise now that i was blinded by love and thought she was perfect and i now know that she has cheated on me and she isnt the person i thought she was. the other day she again told me she wants to be friends and i told her about my mother getting cancer and that i was in hospital the other day and all she replied with was......."k" thats how cold she has got and then text me bk saying in "in the future i dont want to know about it". can someone enlighten me on this behavour please?

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She doesn't care about you or your mother, or anything else that concerns you. She just wants you available to be her emotional tampon.

Let me first say I'm very sorry about your mother... sadly and oddly my boyfriends mother also has a very aggressive cancer at the moment and there's not a chance that I would ever be anything but sympathic to my boyfriend even if we weren't together I know I would always want to know how his mother was doing, I love her just like my own mother and we haven't been together even 2 years like you guys were.

So yes, in my opinion your ex is just a plain ***** and your better off without toxic people in your life, especially at this sad time, she doesn't deserve a place in your heart or your life. I wish your family the best of luck and health.:)

Thank you very much. I think my problem is I like to see the best in people and I hate to think people could be that evil especially someone who I was with for over two years. I just have to hope I don't bump into her and hope she does not ruin my life any further

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Originally Posted by loveher4eva

thank you very much. i think my problem is i like to see the best in people and i hate to think people could be that evil especially someone who i was with for over two years. i just have to hope i dont bump into her and hope she does not ruin my life any further

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No one can ruin your life unless you let them. The girl has issues and its nice that you see the best in people, because there is good in everyone, but there's just some people we shouldn't waste our time on when they just don't get it and there is no point in trying to make them see that. You had a lucky escape if you ask me!

Thank you so much you're the only person that has actually listened and not just said MOVE ON like I'm a robot or something lol

Well I do suggest you keep her out of your life, you said she wanted to be friends, well I would have hated to hear what she'd have said to you if you guys were enemies at the time! Its hard to hear people tell you to move on, but everyone on here does realize its not so easy. :)

Check out the no contact related threads in my signature. I think it's best that you go 100% no contact with her. As the others have pointed out, she no longer cares about you like before. In which case you're better not having her part of your life anymore as it only brings you grief.