[GlindaofOz]

But lets be really careful here in recommending rebound relationships. We are not out to intentionally hurt anyone and if you go into a relationship with the premise that its just a "rebound" and your sort of using that person to get over the other you need to be honest with the person your involving.

I agree with you. I would think it might be better to casual date a few girls who know that you are just casually dating them and not looking for a relationship. That might keep things easier. However, I think that Doug is sort of incapable of being a jerk to a girl considering all the things that happened with his ex.

[kanicky73]

I agree with you Glinda. DougE you seem to be one of those "nice guys" and I don't mean that in a bad way at all, it just seems as though the men with the big hearts always end up getting used, which says a lot for us women. You be true to who you are and just be honest to anyone you decide to casually date.

[DougE]

Thank you both for the compliment I will... WOW I'm shocked I haven't heard from her. VERY interesting . You just have to know the dynamics of this relationship. Well I mean, its only been 2 days, lol... But I couldn't care less... Its when I'm alone that I see these visions of her having sex, and it just makes me sad and jealous at the same time

[kanicky73]

I think we have all been there at some point or another. Just find something that takes your mind off it when your alone. Or better yet just try to focus on the fun times you had with her and smile about then rather then let them get you sad. I wish you lots of luck.

[GlindaofOz]

Well like we all said get out with your buddies and have some fun.

One of my girlfriends and I have a "rescue me" clause with each other. That no matter what is going on I will drop everything to be with her, stay on the phone with her, go out with her whatever it takes to help her not wallow in an ex. We found it really helpful last summer when we both went through really bad breakups at the same time. Its really helpful and it really works. It helped us to stop focusing on them so much and we would just have so much fun. I don't know if guys do that but its an idea.

[DougE]

Yeah guys do... But no matter, how much fun you have, no matter how much time u occupy, you are STILL going to go through process, and it STILL will be hard

[GlindaofOz]

It's true the process doesn't go away but who says you can't have a few beers, laughs and nachos along the way, right?

[DougE]

Lol true... we'll see how this weekend goes... She works with my cousin, just them 2 at one store... should be interesting. I'm just going to tell her not to bring my ex up

[SAB123]

lol true......we'll see how this weekend goes.....She works with my cousin, just them 2 at one store.....should be interesting. im just going to tell her not to bring my ex up

Doud, definitely tell your cousin not to bring her up and tell her if you ask about her not to tell you. You say you don't care anymore but trust me you will ask about her. I did, I'm friends with my ex's son's step brother. He came over (which I believe she sent him over) and I asked about her, he said she has new boy friend. Talk about a slap in the face, I was very hurt, jealous and cried all night. I couldn't believe she moved on that fast.Although a few days later I jumped back where I was in my healing process but sometimes it's better not to know what an ex is up too. And make sure your cousin doesn't tell her any thing about what your up too.

[DougE]

Doud, definetly tell your cousin not to bring her up and tell her if you ask about her not to tell you. You say you don't care anymore but trust me you will ask about her. I did, I'm friends with my ex's son's step brother. He came over (which I believe she sent him over) and I asked about her, he said she has new boy friend. Talk about a slap in the face, I was very hurt, jealous and cried all night. I couldn't believe she moved on that fast.Although a few days later I jumped back where I was in my healing process but sometimes it's better not to know what an ex is up too. And make sure your cousin doesn't tell her any thing about what your up too.

You know, remember when I told you all I knew eventually she would call. Well I kept getting call "restricted" all night at like 2am Saturday night. So finally I answered as it couldve been anybody, and I do get restricted calls sometimes. And it was her sounding all down, and then asking if I had $20 because she spent $200 to get her car fixex, blah blah blah, but you have the NERVE to call me restricted (*Shakes head back and forth).. . So I hung up... how you gon change your number because of me, and then call me... for cash...

[GlindaofOz]

GOOD FOR YOU!!

You know I was thinking maybe you should be the one who changes your number...

[DougE]

GOOD FOR YOU!!!!

you know I was thinking maybe you should be the one who changes your number....

That's what my mom said. She changes her number, tells all her friends, family etc, it was because of me. You go hrough all 80 of your contacts in your phone to tell them, and THEN you call me 3 days after you change your number. Do you know how UNSTABLE that IS? That is such a turn-off

[GlindaofOz]

I agree with your mom. What she did was nuts and if she is going to keep calling you and trying to weasel back in it may be best for you. Only give the number out to people who you know will not pass it on to her. As time winds on you will no longer have to be concerned.

[kp2171]

GOOD FOR YOU!!!!
you know I was thinking maybe you should be the one who changes your number....

Its not convenient, but it would be a reasonable step to take. I'm not completely convinced you are ready to write her off (meaning doing something more drastic like this), though I hope you are, but when you get there, changing the number is one way to show you mean business. My wife had to do this when a prior relationship bottomed out and she just had to get his noise out of her life.

I doubt I'm the only one here who expected her to call about money... I even went back through the thread cause I thought id warned about it, but apparently I didn't. Anyway, not a big revelation.

At this point id expect vengeful behavior next. Once she sees she can't manipulate you through guilt or fear of losing her (changing number) and that she can't use you for money, well that's when she should start lashing out at you directly and indirectly.

The bad news is that it sucks. The good news is that it drives the stake all the way in, meaning you find it a lot easier to step back when the person is clearly acting intentionally to hurt you.

I'm hoping this doesn't happen... but she sure seems like she's headed this way. So just be on guard a little. She might talk lies and noise to friends or people who both know. She might try to make you jealous concerning a diff guy. She might do anything that she can to throw your balance off.

She might also have a genuine change of heart and be nice about it all. Wouldn't wage my money on that bet. But she still has a choice in how to proceed, even if her past choices have been questionable.

[DougE]

its not convenient, but it would be a reasonable step to take. im not completely convinced you are ready to write her off (meaning doing something more drastic like this), though i hope you are, but when you get there, changing the number is one way to show you mean business. my wife had to do this when a prior relationship bottomed out and she just had to get his noise out of her life.

i doubt im the only one here who expected her to call about money... i even went back through the thread cause i thought id warned about it, but apparently i didnt. anyway, not a big revelation.

at this point id expect vengeful behavior next. once she sees she can't manipulate you through guilt or fear of losing her (changing number) and that she can't use you for money, well thats when she should start lashing out at you directly and indirectly.

the bad news is that it sucks. the good news is that it drives the stake all the way in, meaning you find it a lot easier to step back when the person is clearly acting intentionally to hurt you.

im hoping this doesnt happen... but she sure seems like shes headed this way. so just be on guard a little. she might talk lies and noise to friends or people who both know. she might try to make you jealous concerning a diff guy. she might do anything that she can to throw your balance off.

she might also have a genuine change of heart and be nice about it all. wouldnt wage my money on that bet. but she still has a choice in how to proceed, even if her past choices have been questionable.

Thanks for that advice. That is interesting, she wouldn't seem the type to go THAT far, but then again, nowadays you never know

[kp2171]

Desperate (for attention), irrational people do stupid, stupid things.

I'm sure she never seemed like the kind of person whod hide a guys name in her phone, treat you like she has financially, or accuse you of plotting to screw with her mind.

Hopefully I'm wrong.

[DougE]

desperate (for attention), irrational people do stupid, stupid things.

im sure she never seemed like the kind of person whod hide a guys name in her phone, treat you like she has financially, or accuse you of plotting to screw with her mind.

hopefully im wrong.

True

[DougE]

I know she's irrational. What kind of attention can you expect someone to give you by changing your number?

[DougE]

Ok, she just left a message on my voicemail saying "Please dont think I was trying to use you this weekend...Its just been really hard us not being together, and I felt you were treating me disrespectfuly"... (in which I did when I cussed her out so bad last friday)

[GlindaofOz]

Not your problem. She is grasping at straws trying to get you to call her. DELETE. End of story.