My boyfriend

talaniman · May 2, 2007, 06:28 AM

Boring as it sounds you just keep doing what you have been, so dry the eyes and get back to work. Reality is hard on everyone and we still have to keep plugging away at it.

grammadidi · May 2, 2007, 10:13 AM

You will have good days and bad days for awhile. You have to pull yourself through the bad days... force yourself to pretend they are good ones. Losing your job or not having money is not the way to deal with things. What if you were married and he died? Believe me, you can't just crawl into a little hole of self pity and die yourself! You get up and out of bed, clean yourself up, get out there to work and it helps to make you feel better. If that doesn't work, then you find other things to do in your life to fill the void when you aren't at work or sleeping. It IS possible. Remember, you are responsible for how you feel. If you just keep plugging away at motivating yourself and surround yourself with things that make you happy you will be happy. You need to work on YOU right now so you don't repeat the mistakes that got you where you are yet again.

You CAN do it. Keep telling yourself that. You are part way there, sweetie. Don't give up now!

Love, Didi

kazzz · May 2, 2007, 12:03 PM

Thanks,really do understnd what you both said,and I know what I got to do. Just finding it hard to do.

kazzz · May 13, 2007, 01:42 PM

Hi, all those that have read my posts already,need some more advice please.
I lost that job, but I do have another one which is loads of fun,and really enjoying it.
My questions is, I was and am so pleased at how I am doing, that I text him, saying "every think is going to be fine, thanku x." that's the axact text. I wasn't expecting a text back having not heard from him for at least a month, think I haven't text him for about three weeks,don't know exact but it was a long time and at least three weeks. Any way he text back saying "good, glad to hear it will all be fine,but take it that text wasn't meant for me,hope your ok,take care x" I text back saying "it was meant for you and that i could'nt explain why i was saying thanku coz it was a bit to long winded to put in a text,hope your ok to,take care to,x"
He hasn't text back to that and I'm fine with that but why did he text in the first place when in the past when I ave accidentally sent him a text he just ignores it, why say hope your OK and take care and with a kiss at the end, he don't give kisses at the end of text normally.if he don't care like he said before.
I'm confussed, I want answers but don't want to hassel him. Sorry this is long!

kazzz · May 13, 2007, 01:46 PM

Don't even know if he is clean or not and yeah I know that's not my problem any more and to keep working on me and stuff, but just really confussed now as to is he or isn't he clean.

J_9 · May 13, 2007, 01:55 PM

Girl, you just need to stop texting him altogether. Just chalk it up as experience and move on with your life.

You will never get any closure to this if you continue down this path.

Lose his number pronto!!

talaniman · May 13, 2007, 05:54 PM

I'm confused, I want answers

Kazzy you have just learned a valuable lesson about no contact. Every time you break no contact and talk, text or email the ex his responses will bring more questions than they answer and even more confusion. Everyone here at this forum has found that out and had the same results as you when no contact is broken. Get back on the path to health and you will be just fine. Ignore this good advice at the risk of your own sanity and good mental health. Lose his number, and do not contact him, even if he contacts you.

kazzz · May 14, 2007, 01:38 AM

Thanks,I did delete his numbers but its no good because I good with numbers and now them of by heart. I didn't think about texting him I was just sitting they drawing and then out of the blue I text him. I have no intension of texting him again.

moomin007 · May 14, 2007, 01:54 AM

Good for you Kazzz! You just need to forget the numbers now.
Concentrate on YOU, have fun again. Learn what the real Kazzz is and show that to the world.
You are a strong woman, you have shown us that already by doing what you have.
Don't despair.
Don't give up.
Don't doubt your own ability to heal yourself.

You CAN do it!
My thoughts & prayers are with you.
Moomin
:)

lubster · May 14, 2007, 02:16 AM

You can't live your life for someone else. He and he alone needs to make what choices he wants for his life. You need to make the choice of staying with an addict or moving on with your life. Don't allow him to ruin your life. Do what you need to, to be able to move on.

berrysweetncgurl · May 15, 2007, 10:48 PM

Good luck with this, I am going through the same thing, except I have a child with my first love. He would rather do crack cocaine than to be with me, when he doesn't have the drug he wants me, when someone comes around with it or he has money then he "needs his space" He can go 2-3 months at a time without doing it but he always relapses. Cocaine is a strong addiction and I will tell you, if you have given this guy chances to change already, chances are he is not going to change, and it will be a vicious cycle with him for the rest of your life, take my advice from someone who is going through it, LEAVE HIM ALONE and Definitely DO NOT HAVE A CHILD WITH HIM!! If you don't leave him alone you will look back and ask yourself why you stayed with him, after he runs off with your bill money, steals from you and lies to you everyday for this drug. TRUST ME

krystal1973 · May 15, 2007, 10:54 PM

You can't fix other people, but I understand you not wanting to abandon him. You should call Narcotics Anonymous and ask them for advice, they should tell you also where there is a meeting for you also, they are called Alanon. It's a good place to start.

kazzz · May 26, 2007, 04:28 AM

Update: he sent me a text saying he can't take it any more,needs to put an end to for good,he can't keep screwing up.
So of course I rushed round there, he hanged himself,I'm absoulty deverstated,I found him just hanging there,I couldn't cut him down,he is dead, what do I do know.please god help me.

lubster · May 26, 2007, 05:05 AM

OMG, are you all right? Know it is not your fault... get some help with this, know you are in my prayers

talaniman · May 26, 2007, 05:13 AM

What a horrible thing to go through, I am so sorry. Please don't bear any guilt for his choices, and get help going through, this as I know his family is devastated also. My condolenses and prayers are with you.

kazzz · May 26, 2007, 06:02 AM

Isn't really hit me yet, never lost any one before.scared

hennigar72 · May 26, 2007, 11:14 AM

I just read the last post. Kazz, I am so so sorry. Surround yourself with loved ones sweetheart. My prayers are with you and with his family. Take care of yourself

klinus1997 · May 26, 2007, 01:17 PM

Originally Posted by kazzz

how do i help someone addicted to coke that one day wants help and the next day dont want help. its killing me to see the love of my life killing himself. he says he loves me and wants to be with me but at the moment were not together coz he says he dont like himself and doesn't want me to see him in that way.he is my first love and i am his so i can't just walk away but its hurting so much to not, really dont know wot to do anymore.

You have to walk away because he won't change until he hits rock bottom and that can be years from now. I dated a guy for 3 years and realized that last year that he had done coke the entire time. That was 5 years ago and he is still doing coke. I am happy I found the strength to leave him.

bushg · May 26, 2007, 02:47 PM

I had a friend that committed suicide with a gun 15 yrs ago and a cousin that hung himself last year. You must remember that they were very ill people. Both of them had abused drugs. Do not feel guilty because it will only harm you. Just remember him for the good in him and what good things that he brought into your life. May peace be with you.

xxstephaniescourfieldxx · Jun 30, 2007, 02:44 PM

Hey my fiancé is well was addicted to coke and ectasy he would go to the pub and not be able to go without ectasy or he would sit in with his mates and snort coke. He is my first love 2. but he got himself into so much dept he started dealing them at clubs and pubs he is now in prison if you read my questionns.with me onli been sixteen people keep telling me to move on but I love him with all my heart. I think you should try and get him to get help and get him off the coke because before you now it he will be dealing and my fiancé did it to feed his habbit and could be looking at four years.

Add your answer here.