[LifeChangesMan]

Is it safe to say that this wasn't a healthy relationship and we should just shake hands and move on tomorrow when we talk, because I still consider her my best friend.

[High Max]

I'm sorry for how negative I am. I read these kinds of posts and my heart aches for these guys. I have a strong sense of justice when it comes to these sorts of situations, when a guy gives his all, only to have his heart broken for some new guy at some drunken party, or whatever the situation is.

[asking]

HM, I think people understand. It cuts both ways. That is, it happens to gals too, they give their all and then get dumped. Sometimes it's just that the relationship is over and the person leaving is moving on. Sometimes the dumper (whether a man or a woman) was a player and not very nice. But not everybody who wants out of a relationship is a bad person.

[LifeChangesMan]

So, here's the end.. My girlfriend, ex now, came over to my house last night after she didn't want to because she heard I was telling people I cheated on her and everything, but after two weeks people telling me things, all things go through my head when I truly deep down inside knew she would never. So, we talked she simply said that she needs to break it off right now for her, she wasn't herself anymore she lost herself, friends, and everything because she was so content on making me happy, that she just began not being happy anymore. We cried together, got everything out explained and expressed my love to her, she knows how much I love her and how she means everything to me and she always will and no one will EVER compare to how wonderful she is and the LOVE that I have for her I, I understand she needs this right now and it's hard for her to walk away because she loves me and needs things to change and in the future I'm sure they will, when I asked her so this is it babe? She responded, "for now" which was her probably just being nice, but it made me feel at ease and, she said, "our schools will be right next to each other" I understand that the possibility of me and her getting back together are probably very slim and probably not likely but I want to think that our love is for real and it'll happen down the road, because I KNOW she's the one for me. And you guys can all sit here and tell me different but I know she is, the question is whether she's gone forever or not. Time will tell. And if she finds this post and reads this, she already knows that I will always want to spend my life with her because she's the most special unique beautiful woman in the whole entire world and, that I love her so much I'm willing to let her go and do her own thing and meet new people and new relationships, as long as she promised me that she's going to find pure happiness and be successful. So we cuddled a little bit and it was great, the feelings were still there, and always will be, I'm so grateful that this woman chose to spend 4.5 years of her life with me out of all the great people in her life and could/will meet down the road, someone will make her very happy and that's all that I want, I know it'll be hard to see her with others but deep down inside if I know she's happy I'm okay with it and it'll make me happy. After all was said and done, and the air was clear we laughed together, we talked together, cuddled a little more, this girl was still my best friend and always will be, and she taught me so much about myself and life, and I could never thank her enough for that. It's just unique that when you love someone so much you want them to be so happy you'd do anything for them, whether it be change, go out of your way for them, or even let them go to find their happiness in someone or something else no matter what it may be, that's how you know you are truly in love. Bottom line comes out, she's still the wonderful person I fell in love with over 4 years ago, and I always will, I guess I just let life work itself out, if anything comes out of this relationship, I just want her to know how much I truly care about her and I would do anything for her, now, later, anytime because she's my world, and letting her go to find happiness is okay with me now, because it's what she needs to do for herself. She's going to make someone very very happy in the future and that person is going to be so lucky to be with her and have a wonderful wife and family because she's so so special. Life works itself out, anything could happen in both of our lives in the future, and I'm sure we will cross paths and whether we stay as great friends, never talk again, or rekindle the fire, only God knows that. When all was said and done, we cried, laughed, cuddled, reminisced, and everything ended on great terms and we had a wonderful 4.5 years together and I don't think either of us would ever change that. I walked her out to her car, opened the door, she jumped in, she said, "well, i'll see ya later" and then we hugged and kissed, smiled a little bit at each other, and then I watched her drive away for the last time, and this is how my story ends...

[jmw0713]

Dude... I know how you feel now. This is not going to be the last you hear from her... but right now you need to do your own thing and start to build yourself back up to where you were BEFORE you met her. When you reach that point, you'll meet someone else and will not even think about her except for once in a blue moon.

You can do it! A lot of us are going through the same thing right now.

Just be glad that you REALLY KNOW what true and unconditional love is. Many people mistake lust as love. When you truly love someone, you always will. It never fades. You will always want them to be happy with whatever they do in life, whether your there with them or not. You never want them to fail and you will always be there for them no matter what happened in the past. That is called true unconditional love when you can see through the past and the mistakes and still feel for them the way you did when you met.

But on the other hand... you cannot let this love you still hold for her hold you back from finding someone that makes YOU happy too. You will find someone in the future that will give you unconditional love back.

[Romefalls19]

Sucks the story ended that way. You should still do NC until you heal completely because it will only delay your recovering but I am glad you guys ended on good terms!

[roxypox]

Sucks the story ended that way. You should still do NC until you heal completely because it will only delay your recovering but I am glad you guys ended on good terms!

Good suggestion! I've made mistakes there myself... I even went way way further then calls and it really screws with you emotionally! So NC is a good idea!

I have to day that I am kind of where high max is. Sadly. I mean I'm so scared.. well actually TERRIFIED of getting hurt again that I really do not want to put myself in a position where I can be hurt. The beging is always sweet.. the ending is so gut wrenching that I think it might be years until I can get involved with someone in a serious way... geez, I'm messed up!

Hope your doing better though! (i.e. the guy who greated the post!)

[kctiger]

The good thing is, we have control over our pain now. Think about it. They can't hurt us, only we can. So... if we can learn to quit slamming our head into a brick wall (easier said than done), then we should be on a clear path to recovery.

[Romefalls19]

Roxy, if you read my story from start to finish you will see I felt the same way. I thought I would NEVER fall in love after my last relationship, then I met someone at work and we began to talk, strictly as friends and then it just grew quickly to the point we were texting each other or talking on the phone. We would text until 2 am and always talk about ourselves and our lives before and then we started dating and now I am very happy to say we are engaged and living together. Sure we have our fights, but through what I have learned on this forum, I know now how to handle a fight and a relationship the right way. So continue to have faith in life and love as it will one day catch you when you least expect it.

[roxypox]

Rome: I know your making sense, still it's the fear that gets the best of me. I'm confident that once the wounds heal a little I'll get there. Btw: good for you! :)

(besides I'm messed up hehe and I have a post under the dating... really messed up haha( ;)

c'est la vie!

[BlackVY]

In my opinion, a break is actually an easier way to let someone down. But then again, I've had my girlfriend tell me she wants a break, which I gave her, and after 2 days she came running back because she realized she couldn't be without me and missed me too much. So it is possible that your girl want a break so sort herself out.

In that time, she will think about you and decide how she feels about you and herself. If she sees that she is not happy without you, or if there is something missing in her life, she will come back to you and let you know this.

However, it is also possible that she is using this break as a chance to get away, find herself and stuff... if she realizes she can be happy without you and doesn't miss being with you and stuff, if she realizes your not always on her mind when she sees a sunset, or listens to the rain, or sees a couple holding hands, if your not on her mind and if she doesn't find herself wondering about you, then I think she will make the break permanent...

Sorry to say this bro, but seems like the ball is in her court... so for now, just let her have her break, and while she is finding herself, you can find yourself... do what you want, have some fun, and if she comes back, then well and good, if not, you can move on with your life.. All the best... Peace :)

[BlackVY]

Wow man... just read how the story ended... very sad... but that's what a true man does... as long as the woman he loves is happy, he will be happy... her smile is worth that to you. She may come back one day... nothing is set in stone, but its good to know as long as she is happy, you are happy... now you can get on with your life and maybe find another girl who will make you happy... All the best...

[LifeChangesMan]

We'll see I've learned so much from this and am glad I found this site, and I'm going to use everything from it to make my relationship great if she wants to comeback or be a great boyfriend for the next girl that comes along and some how manages to steal my heart that I never want to let anybody near. But I thank everyone for everything and I'll keep it updated if and hwen anything happens.

[roxypox]

I'm clad to hear that LCM :) this site is really great isn't it! It's proactive on so many lvls and so many great people from all walks of life and who really have good advices to give when you need it the most.

Oh and by the way I got some advice on this thread as well. And I have totally come to the realization that I should not go through life with my heart so darn guarded. Life is just too short. And there is this guy that I like, and I'm going to tell him. If it isn't mutual it really isn't a big deal... I can get over it, but if I don't tell him I probably will be hung up on for a long long time and always wonder.

I'm glad you've realised that you will make a good boyfriend for someone else :)

[LifeChangesMan]

Go for it roxy! I hope the best for you. Thanks for everything.

[BlackVY]

WooHoo!!

LifeChangesMan, your changing people's lives... good on you! :D

[LifeChangesMan]

Shiizzzz, I do what I can bro-ski I figure if I change one person's life by posting and blogging on here that's enough for me.

[BlackVY]

shiizzzz, i do what i can bro-ski i figure if i change one person's life by posting and blogging on here that's enough for me.

Haha... all good man... I'm sure this will change more than one person's life... :)

[LifeChangesMan]

It's been over a week since I seen my love and she hasn't contacted me at all, nothing not a word but it was expected unfortunately. Still trying to fathom that it's really over, she just walked out of my life and simply hit a switch under the desk and was like, "don't need him anymore" where's the love? Where did it go? Does she even care anymore if I'm breathing?

[BlackVY]

Man... I think I'm going through the same thing now... I think I'm leaving my girl for good... because I can't take her s**t anymore... its too much and I can't take the fighting. I'm going to do the NC thing...