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broken_arro · Sep 3, 2008, 02:39 PM

It's just so weird that she would do something so immature!! Wasn't expecting that.

Ash123 · Sep 3, 2008, 03:09 PM

Dude, I gotta say simply this:

She is making a fool out of you.

1. DON'T EVEN THINK OF TALKING TO THAT "NEW CONTACT".
2. Get a new account with a cool new username for friends if you must be on faceBook (with no friends with links to exes to use)
3. If it is her email it is her, right? DELETE her from your contacts. NOW. No questions asked.

OR you have wasted a lot of people's time on here. The girl is a mess and she is playing new guy, old guy, all guys... Time to man-up my man... the intrigue and drama have gone far enough with her.

broken_arro · Sep 3, 2008, 03:24 PM

Originally Posted by Ash123

Dude, I gotta say simply this:

She is making a fool out of you.

1. DON'T EVEN THINK OF TALKING TO THAT "NEW CONTACT".
2. Get a new account with a cool new username for friends if you must be on faceBook (with no friends with links to exes to use)
3. If it is her email it is her, right?! DELETE her from your contacts. NOW. No questions asked.

OR you have wasted a lot of people's time on here. The girl is a mess and she is playing new guy, old guy, all guys.....Time to man-up my man....the intrigue and drama have gone far enough with her.

Again, Ash to the rescue... Convincing as always...

Will definitely delete her off my account tomorrow.

It's very funny though... Yesterday was honestly the first day she wasn't the first thing on my mind when I woke up and I almost didn't think of her at all during the day (had many stuff to do) It's like the final stage of healing had started... And then BAM!! There she is. It's like that quote from Swingers :

They know to contact you when you are over them... DAMN!! Lol

WhatN3XT · Sep 3, 2008, 03:50 PM

Originally Posted by broken_arro

Again, Ash to the rescue... Convincing as always...

Will definitely delete her off my account tomorrow.

It's very funny though... Yesterday was honestly the first day she wasn't the first thing on my mind when I woke up and I almost didn't think of her at all during the day (had many stuff to do) It's like the final stage of healing had started... And then BAM !!! there she is. It's like that quote from Swingers :

They know to contact you when you are over them... DAMN !!! lol

Just so it is clear... Bam there she is, where? In you head? In your House? Calling you?

broken_arro · Sep 3, 2008, 03:54 PM

Originally Posted by WhatN3XT

Just so it is clear...Bam there she is, where? In you head? In your House? calling you?

Stalking me... :D :D lol

WhatN3XT · Sep 3, 2008, 03:59 PM

Originally Posted by broken_arro

Stalking me... :D :D lol

Ahhhhhhhh, I see. Had one of those (stalker) they can be annoying. Even more reason to NC. Good Luck, Sounds like your almost there.

Ithappenstoall · Sep 4, 2008, 04:55 AM

Almost reached the top of the healing process... good stuff. Keep it up

broken_arro · Sep 6, 2008, 02:33 AM

Deleted this girl off my Facebook. Have regrets about it, however I know that in the long run it was the best thing for me to do.

If I kept her as a friend, thinking that it possibly was my ex, I would think twice before posting anything on fb, and I would most probably be posting things wanting perhaps to manipulate her. I do not want that at this stage of my healing.

If I would take my ex back ? Certainly not the way she used to be when we were together. If she showed me that she REALLY wanted me in her life (the way I showed her the two months I tried to get her back) and would try hard enough to fix her issues (insecurities e.t.c.), then I would think about it... However it would be her who should initiate proper contact and express her real feelings in order to achieve that, not hiding behind silly mind games.

Dragonfly1234 · Sep 8, 2008, 01:21 PM

Originally Posted by broken_arro

Deleted this girl off my facebook. Have regrets about it, however I know that in the long run it was the best thing for me to do.

If I kept her as a friend, thinking that it possibly was my ex, I would think twice before posting anything on fb, and I would most probably be posting things wanting perhaps to manipulate her. I do not want that at this stage of my healing.

If I would take my ex back ? Certainly not the way she used to be when we were together. If she showed me that she REALLY wanted me in her life (the way I showed her the two months I tried to get her back) and would try hard enough to fix her issues (insecurities e.t.c.), then I would think about it... However it would be her who should initiate proper contact and express her real feelings in order to achieve that, not hiding behind silly mind games.

I think that she is trying to keep some sort of contact with you as a back up plan in case things don't work out with the other guy or in case she ever changes her mind. She wants to keep you as an option.

Also, "I would try hard enough to fix her issues"? How is that even possible, fixing someone else's issues. No one could fix her issues but her. That is if she thinks she does have issues...

broken_arro · Sep 10, 2008, 05:13 AM

Just as I had imagined.

I opened up MSN after about a month (appearing offline) and she has changed her away message to "why do we need men for ? we can do it on our own"

She most probably broke up with the guy (or had a fight or whatever), and is now trying to "taste the waters" with me again.

That's why she pulled that fb act last week...

I guess I should still stick to what I've been doing, right ? NC and living my life, having fun... Or should I wait a couple weeks and then contact her (it's her birthday then) and see what comes out of this ? I mean, pulling the fb act last week showed she still has interest in me.

Of course, new women have come into my life (nothing serious though, just messing around), so I won't be hoping or counting the days backwards in order for my ex to contact me or whatever... And I also have in mind she may still reconcile with the other guy (poor fella... no way he can handle her)

Romefalls19 · Sep 10, 2008, 05:19 AM

No! Do NOT break NC! Why in the world do you think that away message is about you? Or even directed towards you as you haven't been on MSN in a month. You need to stop thinking into everything your ex does. You obviously aren't over her, not even close. You are still so convinced it was your ex doing that FB stuff last week. You aren't doing NC for the right reasons at all and only hindering your recovery

broken_arro · Sep 10, 2008, 05:25 AM

Originally Posted by Romefalls19

No! Do NOT break NC! Why in the world do you think that away message is about you? Or even directed towards you as you haven't been on MSN in a month. You need to stop thinking into everything your ex does. You obviously aren't over her, not even close. You are still so convinced it was your ex doing that FB stuff last week. You aren't doing NC for the right reasons at all and only hindering your recovery

I'm still not over her completely, agree with that, but I am at a point where I honestly don't care if she came back or not. Not sweating it at all... I am not thinking about everything she does, in fact there are days I rarely think of her, however there are people who are now finding out that we broke up and are all over me saying things like "why ? she was so beautiful... you two were good together..." and stuff like that, which keep bringing her back on my mind.

But, trust me, I'm good and, as I said, new people have come into my life, and I'm having a great time. :)

Romefalls19 · Sep 10, 2008, 05:29 AM

People are still saying that about my ex and myself. The whole perfect for each other and crap like that and I'm living with my present girlfriend. I just say we both went different ways in life and are better off. Me and my ex are actually really good friends now, it's funny how things happen.

I used to be just like you, thinking away messages were directed towards me and stupid little things on myspace and facebook(check my old posts back in January and February)

broken_arro · Sep 11, 2008, 11:19 AM

Originally Posted by Romefalls19

You are still so convinced it was your ex doing that FB stuff last week.

Just re-read the whole thread...

If it actually wasn't my ex, then I most certainly missed a chance with a very very hot girl... :D :D lol Ah well, I guess many more will come!!

broken_arro · Sep 13, 2008, 05:50 AM

Just re-read this thread once more... (working on weekends does suck and gives you A LOT of free time... lol)

Originally Posted by N0help4u

If she ever misses you enough to break up with him she will let you know and you will have to decide how to proceed. Until then as the other guy NO CONTACT!

What if that's what she was trying to do pulling the fb act last week and leaving those away messages ? Letting me know that she's through with the other guy, letting me know that she's still interested in me and letting ME decide what to do ? She was never the kind of person to take strong initiatives, let alone approaching me again when she thinks that me not accepting her back is a very possible option ? Too much pride for a girl to be turned down by a guy...

Confused again... :confused: :confused: :eek:

talaniman · Sep 13, 2008, 07:33 AM

It doesn't matter one bit if its her, or someone else, as your not ready for either. Stop thinking around, and round, and focus on something else.

broken_arro · Sep 30, 2008, 08:51 AM

That's it... Are you ready?? I BROKE NC.. And I'm happy about it!! :)

Today is my ex's birthday. We haven't talked for more than two months.

Called her a few hours ago on her cell phone... Once. She didn't answer. Didn't bother me at all. Didn't call her again and went out for coffee.

About half an hour ago, my mobile rang. It was her... I answered. She seemed surprised to hear from me... I wished her happy birthday and she said she didn't expect me to remember it.

We chit-chatted for about 15 minutes, talking about our lives... I sounded extremely cool and relaxed, extremely enjoyable... Laughing and making jokes. (Keep in mind, I have totally put all the needy, clingy attitude behind me). She noticed and told me so. "I wasn't expecting you being so full of energy", she said. "I am surprised. I'm not used to you being like this..." I noticed she had started crying over the phone.. I immediately changed subject (don't want to hear her like that) and asked her about what she did or going to do to celebrate her birthday. NO MENTION OF OUR PAST RELATIONSHIP WHATSOEVER!! NOTHING :):p Never asked her if she is still seeing that other guy. Don't care ! She most probably is, judging by where she told me she hangs out (where he lives). But then again, as I said, I don't care ! :D

I was the one to hung up wishing her the best and for her to be happy. I told her I would be in town in a couple of days and that I would call her in order for us to go for a drink ! She paused when I said that... "Yes, ok", she said reluctantly... Didn't bother me at all and never lost my cool. With the same cool and cheerful tone of voice I used throughout our conversation I said goodbye.. I hung up !

THAT'S IT !

How I feel ? Damn, I would have definitely regretted it if I hadn't wished her on her birthday. It was good hearing her voice again. I don't think I would have called her though if she hadn't pulled all that crazy stuff the past couple moths I was NC.

What am I going to do from now on ? Well, I will call her in a couple days when I'll be in town and ask her out for a drink. If she doesn't want to, I will probably go NC again until she initiates contact. If she agrees, we'll go out and try to make her have a good time.. I won't be hoping for anything to happen between us. As I said, the time I pursued her like crazy have long gone, I am having the time of my life and plan on doing so!! :p:p

That's all folks... To be continued... (?? )

Heh, damn, I needed that!!

talaniman · Sep 30, 2008, 10:36 AM

Don't be fooled just because your feeling good, that you can handle seeing her as a friend.

Just be honest with yourself, your feelings, and your motives.

broken_arro · Sep 30, 2008, 10:48 AM

Originally Posted by talaniman

Don't be fooled just because your feeling good, that you can handle seeing her as a friend.

Just be honest with yourself, your feelings, and your motives.

I never said I want to be seeing her as a friend ! I can't, I know that... I just take the things the way they come. As I said, I have no hidden intentions or expectations here.. I just felt like wishing her on her birthday and I did so. That's all... ;) What comes from now on.. Well, I'll just wait and see.. I'll just sit back and enjoy the ride ! :D

Ash123 · Sep 30, 2008, 12:42 PM

Well buddy, you do want her back and it would be a disaster.

BUT IT'S OK.

Listen, you are a heterosexual male with love still in your heart.

But TRUST ME, she is a mess, and you need to keep going forward, even when you miss her. Breaking NC is human. But try to think of the pain you've already endured.

Peace.