[verydarkhere]

Sometime singles is suck,special for peoples who have been in long relationship like us.it get worse at night.we need to use to it.or you should find new date.I think it is the fastest way to forget someone.hehe.
I would like to go to London to visit my girl friend but she need to settle down and find jobs,etc... and I can't go to UK now because my boyfriend is in European so my husband would not let me go there before I make my decision.my husband is American and I'm an Asian.I would like to go to Europe on this Xmas anyway.

[LadySam]

sometime singles is suck,special for peoples who have been in long relationship like us.it get worse at night.we need to use to it.or you should find new date.i think it is the fastest way to forget someone.hehe.

Sorry, I have to disagree with this statement, it is not fair to either party to get involved emotionally or sexually with someone before the healing is done.
It's called rebounding and rarely works out favorably for anyone.

[verydarkhere]

Sorry, I have to disagree with this statement, it is not fair to either party to get involved emotionally or sexually with someone before the healing is done.
It's called rebounding and rarely works out favorably for anyone.

You are right but I mean that should not date someone else too fast till you understand what was happened without anger or want to revenge.. . the healing could take forever if you just be on your own and waste the time of your life.when you meet somebody special then you pay attention to them more and you would not have time to look back the pass.Dating someone else is always a part of the rebounding plan.someone else could take your pain away and replace happiness.or am I wrong?

[LadySam]

I've never heard of the rebounding plan. And from experience I can tell you that healing doesn't take forever.
What you usually find when you start dating too early is that for a while that person is the high you have been needing, and then reality sets in and you realize that you have simply traded one set of problems for another set of problems.
Then not only are you back to square one, but you have involved and hurt someone else when you could have either 1) worked on the former relationship without the complication of a third party or 2) ended the former relationship and taken the time to get to know yourself again, be happy with you so that someone else could be happy with you minus the emotional baggage.
Going out is a good thing, friends and acquaintances help to keep you occupied, give you a support system, but to start dating with the intention of romance before you are healed from the pain of a failed relationship is not a good idea in my honest opinion.

[verydarkhere]

I've never heard of the rebounding plan. And from experience I can tell you that healing doesn't take forever.
What you usually find when you start dating too early is that for a while that person is the high you have been needing, and then reality sets in and you realize that you have simply traded one set of problems for another set of problems.
Then not only are you back to square one, but you have involved and hurt someone else when you could have either 1) worked on the former relationship without the complication of a third party or 2) ended the former relationship and taken the time to get to know yourself again, be happy with you so that someone else could be happy with you minus the emotional baggage.
Going out is a good thing, friends and acquaintances help to keep you occupied, give you a support system, but to start dating with the intention of romance before you are healed from the pain of a failed relationship is not a good idea in my honest opinion.

There is always 2 sides,bad side and good side.
-Bad side is as you said' when you start dating too early is that for a while that person is the high you have been needing, and then reality sets in and you realize that you have simply traded one set of problems for another set of problems.'
-Good side is that when u date someone else who might guide you away from the pain and help you realize that you deserve better.Break up is hurtful and it is actually hurt in your chest.Special for peoples who had been in long relationship like us.we hate loneliness,feel like we can't live without them.And I think this way is the fastest way out in my opinion.it called move on.My girl friend got dump with a baby in 3 years relationship and she tried to heal her pain in 2 years,it did not go anywhere and cried every night till she works and she actually dating again and she feel so much better.

[LadySam]

I prefer to not take the focus from dmitriz, after all this is his question pertaining to his problem.

I actually do see some misguided thoughts in your post, to my way of thinking.
I'd rather not take away form the OP to present that to you, but if you'd like I would be happy to express my thoughts to you...
Here: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...go-699846.html

dmitriz, I hope things are going well for you. And you are holding up.

[dmitriz]

I prefer to not take the focus from dmitriz, after all this is his question pertaining to his problem.

I actually do see some misguided thoughts in your post, to my way of thinking.
I'd rather not take away form the OP to present that to you, but if you'd like I would be happy to express my thoughts to you....
Here: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...go-699846.html

dmitriz, I hope things are going well for you. and you are holding up.

Thanks, it is either I'm taking it too well or I can't realise that it is happened, I still have mood swings, and I do get upset when something reminds me the time we've spent together. Unfortunately almost everything does, but I feel that she must have similar feelings, but I won't do anything to get her back, as it seems that doing so only make the things worst. Today is the last day when I have to go to hers to take the last part of my belongings, I'm trying to write a list to not forget anything, I don't want to go there any more.

[verydarkhere]

I don't want to argue here because this is dmitriz's post.his Situation is similar to my mine.and I going to do something the same as his girl friend did to him.she left him without explain thing good.I'm here to cheer him up and help him know what we are thinking,we are know that we are heartless but things happens for reasons.
I don't really tried to tell him how to heal his pain but I do help him to understand what was happened.I spoke to him like the insider.and the way I told him about finding a new date which it was haft real and half joking but you never know it might help.He feel a bit better and he will know what is the best for him to do after.
I did not said that you are wrong but I don't think mine is wrong either.the way to post my link which is not very nice.

[verydarkhere]

I'd rather not take away form the OP to present that to you, but if you'd like I would be happy to express my thoughts to you...
Here: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...go-699846.html

I don't want to argue here because this is dmitriz's post.his Situation is similar to my mine.and I going to do something the same as his girl friend did to him.she left him without explain thing good.I'm here to cheer him up and help him know what we are thinking,we are know that we are heartless but things happens for reasons.
I don't really tried to tell him how to heal his pain but I do help him to understand what was happened.I spoke to him like the insider.and the way I told him about finding a new date which it was haft real and half joking but you never know it might help.He feel a bit better and he will know what is the best for him to do after.
I did not said that you are wrong but I don't think mine is wrong either.the way to post my link which is not very nice.

[talaniman]

Things will be better after you have handled your unfinished business, and have a chance to breath and relax, and make adjustments.

[dmitriz]

Things will be better after you have handled your unfinished business, and have a chance to breath and relax, and make adjustments.

I hope so, she asked me to move things tomorrow instead of today, and I start thinking about all the good times we've spent together and almost start crying again, it is unbelievable, I did not cry since childhood and this year it seems like I cry for all those years. I can't get her out of my head, I can't believe she did, this is f*** up situation. I can't find a way out of it.

[talaniman]

You are mourning the loss of this relationship, but time will heal you after you get your things. But it will take a while.

[dmitriz]

You are mourning the loss of this relationship, but time will heal you after you get your things. But it will take a while.

Thank you all for support, I won't be back here for a while, I will update this topic when the time will be right, and maybe it will be useful for someone else. I hope that people who meant to be together won't make mistakes like I did, I hope that if they will, they will have a courage to apologise, they will have a courage to accept apology, they will have a courage to give it another try, and maybe another after that and they will understand something important. Life is beautiful. It is much more beautiful when we have caring person whom we care about next to us. Peace.

[LadySam]

Keep yourself well dmitriz, and allow me to thank you.
Your post was thought provoking to me, actually it made me think of something small but silly I recently said to my other half and I owe someone an apology.
The things we all learn form each other is amazing and, Yes life IS beautiful.
Keep your chin up and peace back at you.