[bullmastif]

I know many have come across such a question but I would really appreciate if people give me some advice.

Met this girl when I was 17 (we are both the same age), we just finished high school and spent 2 years together until she had to leave the country to complete her degree. I loved her so much that distant wasn't actually a factor. We kept telling ourselves that, if we can still be together after going through long-distance relationship, we would actually be stronger when we are together. After 2 years she came back to do her practicals and I had to leave to complete my education. Through-out the relationship, we loved each other so much and nothing seemed wrong although we do have fights just like how normal couples would. Now its been 3 months since I came back and I am about to start working. I thought the bad times were over and now I could be close to my girlfriend again. We did speak about marriage and we are just waiting for her to finish her practicals and final semester exams before we get engaged. A week ago, she calls me and she says she loves me a lot, cares for me much and does hate me or anything but she said she kind of lost interest. It was shocking for me as I didn't see it coming ( she had this in her head for about 2-3 months). I begged her to think again and not to leave me suddenly. I cried my eyes out as I loved her so much and just couldn't wait to get married with her. The next day, she told me that she is willing to give this relationship another chance but she don't know if things will be all right again. I thanked her so much and I have told her that I would change for all that I have wronged through-out the years. She is having major exams now, and it would decide if she graduates. I have been treating and talking to her just like old times but she has been treating me more like a friend (I know it takes time to recover). I think, our relationship became routine because we had such a long long-distant relationship (we were in different time-zones), and I think since we are at the same place now, we can fix that and we can start of new. She also told me the other day, that she is not sure she gave a second chance for this relationship because she felt guilty leaving me or if she really means it. I am so confused now on what I should do, I really want this girl, I would do anything to fix things. She still talks to me everyday but I am not sure if she is going to stop all these after her exams (3 weeks time). How do I win her back? I am not pressurising her in anyway cause that would only give her reason to distant herself from me. Please please help me get my love back. I love her so much that I can't accept/ even think that she is no more...


Thank you!

[ken007nielsen]

There's nothing you can do except living your own life. She tells you that the reason she is still in the relationship is that she might feel guilty..

The way she treats you is as a friend, so the love connection isent here anymore, only way to save this relationship is if you really both want to. She's lost interest which means it's proberly going to end soon.

The best thing you can do is decide if you want to stay in the relationship for a little while longer until she decides that enough is enough. Or end the relationship yourself. And start living your life without her in it.

[talaniman]

If you act out of fear and lay it on to thick, she will leave, but if you are as friendly as she is then there may be hope. Me, I would relax, and hope for the best but prepare for the worst.

I think what sustained you through all the distance and school, has changed to fear of the future and what it holds, as far as she goes and may well need some time to know how to face it.

Support her the way you have been as the future is uncertain for you both, and that can be overwhelming. Be warned though, oft times when partners stay in a relationship from guilt over hurting the other partner, it seldom works out.

As far as winning her back, dude if she has made up her mind then there is nothing more to be said. Just keep your head up, and confidence in yourself high.

[mmresd]

Relax, take a step back and think about what you are doing, about how you are reacting. Stop acting out of impulse because that assures a break up, on the other hand if you take careful steps you might have a chance. But, if after everything she still breaks up with you, then respect her decision, go no contact and start healing, and start the next chapter in your life. Because there will be many women.

Good luck,

Javi