[britEl]

If some guy started talking to me on the bus or on the street, yes I would find that really creepy!
Try meeting women through your co-workers or through your friends, friends of family etc. Or I suppose you could try a dating site (although I do believe meeting in person is better). And when you talk to women forget your shy just be yourself!

[neverme]

Yep a little more info here would help...

[justcurious55]

I thought my current boyfriend was a creep at first. He was super shy. But mutual friends set us up and my friends pushed me to get to know him. We've been dating for over a year now. Sometimes friends are the best way to get to know other people.

[Jake2008]

If it is bordering on g/f b/f but is still a friendship, then why the need to tell her anything, or break up at all.

Be honest with her, and let her know that you're going to be on the computer less, and having a social life more. That would not damage a friendship.

If you are getting direct comments that she is interested in an exclusive relationship with you, then speak up, and tell her that won't happen.

But to lose a friend by guessing isn't being fair to her, or you.

[Jake2008]

You've had some problems with your impressions of women, judging from your last posts.

I just answered another question of yours earlier about the penpal, and I thought you were much younger than 30.

You have said before that you didn't have success with dating sites, apparently people don't like your picture.

Why not try that again. You seem to be able to put reasonable conversations together, and your penpal has lasted over 1 1/2 years. Perhaps communicating this way will see some actual face to face dates.

Maybe too it is time to take a good hard look at yourself. If by age 30 you haven't had a date, there is probably room for improvement somewhere. Have you talked to any of your male friends for advice?

[talaniman]

This like your other posts tend to sound so desperate to me so let me repeat some previous advice to you. No matter what it takes get to be independent and stand on your own, as a 30 year old guy has no real business letting an Internet pen pal situation get out of hand.

Time to be truthful and realistic and tell this pen pal you need to tend to your real life and put some boundaries on this long distance friendship.

To let it go any further without the truth would not be fair or honest.

[jaime90]

A lot of lesbians, and bisexual women go back to the supposed "human default sexuality" of being straight, mostly because it gives them more sexual satisfaction. The reason why women like men, isn't exactly a mystery, just ask the women, maybe it's because they are not women, and they are very cute! On top of that, there's the whole subject of reproduction, and the pieces fit.
It's possible for women to chemically create sperm, fertilize themselves, reproduce, and rule the world... I wonder why we're all still just sitting around ;)

[adam_89]

Being straight is more acceptable in society. They may like women but they don't want to be a misfit.

[jaime90]

Talking to random people in public is a little creepy- not only that, but you're not about to hit it off with a girl on the bus, and be dating her the next day. Go out and socialize in smaller, more private settings- parties and gatherings. Be casual in your conversation- chat with girls you have just met, just like you would chat with guys you have just met... Ask them what their job is, what they do for fun. Don't try to be "impressive" or "win them over."

[Gemini54]

In fact, most women are BI.

This is another one of your silly posts... what a ridiculous thing to say.

And, since you don't have any experience with women (being 30, living at home and stalking Japanese girls), I gather you're suddenly the 'expert'?

Where is your evidence that most women are bisexual?

[Gemini54]

I suspect you may actually be totally misguided regarding how to approach people in general.

Your social skills are clearly lacking - I've said it before, you need to get out and socialize with lots of people and you probably need counselling.

[jaime90]

I agree with the above, you need to socialize, and not stalk young Japanese girls. Just from your posts, I can tell that you are a creeper, who has no desire to care for and provide for anyone like a real man. What kind of woman in her right mind is going to marry someone who is living at home with his mom? You need to prove that you are able to care for a family and be a mature adult- which you aren't. Sorry to rain on the parade, but I'm only 19, and I can figure this out... You're 30, honestly. You need a swift kick in the pants.

[justcurious55]

Wow jaime, glad you said something. I hadn't read his other threads.


Cozo, I don't think the problem is that you're shy. I think that it's, like others have said, your approach is stalkerish! Do you actually understand what it means to be in a relationship? I'm asking this seriously. It's much more than just answering your phone and returning calls and emails.

And there's not generally a conversation if you're going to be friends with someone. Friendships have a way of just happening. It's being more than friends that usually requires a conversation. I've never had to talk with any of my friends, male or female, about "i want us to be friends" unless it was after a major fight and we were making up.

[jfo]

My first thought on this post, is why a 30 yo has never had a girlfriend before. There's more to this than wshat's posted. I agree, you can't meet people at bus stops, etc.

[ohsohappy]

Heck, go to clubs with some buddies. People might be a little more open to talking to you there, and you'll feel more confident if you have guys there to support you.

[talaniman]

All your threads were merged, and they show a pattern of inexperience that can only be changed by independent learning.

30 year old shy guys who live at home are not very attractive, and are seldom taken seriously.

Sorry guy, but all your threads point to a need to change something's about yourself, and only through a process of honest self evaluation will you ever identify those changes.

It starts with getting out in the world, making mistakes, and growing, and learning.

There is no substitute for experience. You can't grow without it!!

[cozoDOP2]

I've been noticing this a lot. Not just with me, but with many fellow nerds, or even guys who are not nerds.

There's many attractive women around, and I like them. Always, I 'm really attracted to them. But they are never attracted to me

Is there a theory why this happens?

[ohsohappy]

Maybe You're attracted to the wrong kind of women. Here's a thought, get to know them if they let you, and then decide whether you like them or not. Just an FYI, most of us have brains to go with the stuff guys look at. I hope you're not that superficial though. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt, but I still think That's decent food for thought.

[J_9]

Does this have anything to do with the Japanese exchange students you meet at the bus stop?

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/dating...es-440587.html

[ohsohappy]

Does this have anything to do with the Japanese exchange students you meet at the bus stop?

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/dating...es-440587.html

HAHA! I noticed that. I think he just needs to work on his social skills in general.