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Ultra Member
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Jan 13, 2010, 11:34 PM
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 Originally Posted by Stringer
Short Funnies....
The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?" I said," Dust!"
What is the difference between a dog and a fox? About 5 drinks.
Do you know the punishment for bigamy? Two mothers-in-law.
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!" Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
How do most men define marriage? An expensive way to get laundry done for free.
Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
If you want your wife to listen and pay attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.
Gosh Darn it I couln't give you greenie, but I love #3:):D
I really love them all:)
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Uber Member
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Jan 15, 2010, 12:11 PM
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Great jokes Stringer! Simply great! :)
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Ultra Member
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Jan 19, 2010, 12:04 PM
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Originally Posted by albear
i just got this in an email........coincidence :confused:
So weird but I got this in an email around the same time but just now read it today as well as reading this one.
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Ultra Member
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Jan 19, 2010, 04:03 PM
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A few for the ladies ;)
He said... I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.
She said... You wear pants don't you?
>
He said... Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said... That's a good idea - you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart.
>
He said... What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
She said... Turn sideways and look in the mirror.
>
He said... Why don't women blink during foreplay?
She said to him... They don't have time.
>
He said... How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
She said... I don't know; it has never happened.
>
He said... Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and Good-looking?
She said... They already have boyfriends.
>
He said... What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
She said... A widow.
>
He said... Why are married women heavier than single women?
She said... Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.
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Uber Member
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Jan 19, 2010, 08:51 PM
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I've seen the pics before. They are all good. Thanks again.
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Ultra Member
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Jan 27, 2010, 02:06 PM
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A blonde phones the fire brigade and says her house is on fire.
The fireman says OK just calm down and tell us how do we get there?'
'HELLOO!' she replies, 'In the fecking big red truck!'
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Pets Expert
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Jan 27, 2010, 02:39 PM
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ROTFLMAO! I love it M. :)
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Expert
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Jan 27, 2010, 03:12 PM
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ALTY!!
Check your email, woman!
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Pets Expert
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Jan 27, 2010, 03:58 PM
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Originally Posted by Synnen
ALTY!!!
Check your email, woman!
Sorry Synn, I was on the road, picking up the munchkins.
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Pets Expert
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Jan 27, 2010, 04:18 PM
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Originally Posted by Synnen
Why!! Why!! That is horrible!!
Ahhhhh, it's stuck in my head!!
I'm putting a hex on you Synn! ;)
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Expert
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Jan 27, 2010, 04:20 PM
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You already DID!
You made me sing the Llama song for THREE FREAKING HOURS this afternoon.
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Ultra Member
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Jan 27, 2010, 04:22 PM
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Synn
That's cruel , Magical Trevor will be in my head all day now :rolleyes:
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Pest Control Expert
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Jan 27, 2010, 04:24 PM
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Originally Posted by friend4u178
Synn
Thats cruel , Magical Trevor will be in my head all day now :rolleyes:
Not the Beans!!!!!
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Pets Expert
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Jan 27, 2010, 05:37 PM
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Do not click on the link! If you value your sanity do not click on the link! The link is evil.
Besides Synn, I didn't send that to you, you went looking for that all on your own. :)
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Uber Member
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Jan 28, 2010, 06:56 AM
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Phew! I don't know those songs, and won't listen to them... :rolleyes:
Nice joke M! :)
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Pest Control Expert
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Jan 28, 2010, 12:33 PM
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Originally Posted by Unknown008
Phew! I don't know those songs, and won't listen to them... :rolleyes:
Nice joke M! :)
Here's one for Unky:
YouTube - Lamb chops play-Along
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Ultra Member
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Jan 28, 2010, 02:37 PM
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O god! Does the song ever end!
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Expert
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Jan 28, 2010, 03:07 PM
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IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII'm 'enry the ayth, I am, 'enry the ayth, I am, I am
I got married to the woman next door...
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